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the_lone_wolf
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26 Mar 2015, 4:38 pm

I started my current job about 5 months ago now. I mainly get on alright with the people who work there without really feeling like I belong.

There's one girl, and from the very start, her attitude towards me has been terrible. If she'd been nice to me at first and I'd done something to upset her I'd be understanding but she's been like it the moment I first spoke to her. Examples of her behaviour include:

1. On my first (maybe second) day, I was in a room with one other woman. The girl walked in, specifically asked the other woman if she wanted a coffee while ignoring me. It wasn't as though she knew I don't really drink coffee, or she asked "does anyone want a coffee".

2. I was doing some filing and she said to me "be careful with the boxes because some of the lids are getting broken"-I thought to myself, if you file paperwork in cardboard boxes and then stack them on top of each other it doesn't take a genius to work out that the lids may not fare too well. It feels as though she has to have authority and I'm an easy target. I would have as much right (none) to pull her up on something like that, but I'd feel like a complete idiot if I did so because it's not my job.

When I have to ask her something (I often find I have no work to do because they don't seem to trust me with much beyond menial tasks which is frustrating because I know I have so much more to offer) she pulls a face as though I am a serial killer or something. I dread having to ask her for help and that surely shouldn't happen in any workplace.

Other people have noticed her behaviour, she behaved in a similar way to a colleague who started at the same time as me but was let go. I was told someone pulled her up on it. A couple of months ago, the boss found my twitter (not sure how) where I had ranted about this girl, nothing bad I might add, just similar to what I'm saying here, but I got a ticking off. I think she did too because for a month or so she was a lot more friendly but she seems to have gone back to her old ways. A woman at work, who's daughter also works there, said after the box incident "She has no authority over you so don't let her boss you around." and someone else said he didn't think it was on the way she spoke to me. A few weeks ago she said "make sure you file these correctly", someone made the point that I've been to university, I'm not an idiot and shouldn't be treated like one.

What baffles me the most is she's perfectly nice to the other people in the company. If she was the office cow I'd not mind so much, but when you hear her say "HEY :D Can you do me a favour?!" in a sing song voice to someone then to me say something like "Can you file these please :| ".

I'm not sure what to do really. On one hand I think I should say something to someone but on the other, she's leaving in August so should I just put up with it? I actually have taken quite a dislike to her but am always polite and friendly when I talk to her.



kraftiekortie
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26 Mar 2015, 4:57 pm

If she's leaving in August, there's no sense in talking to somebody about it.

Just do the work to the best of your ability.

You didn't mention if your SUPERVISORS criticize your work. If they don't, there's no need to worry about anything.

You can't be liked by everybody! People take up for you---that's pretty good.



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26 Mar 2015, 5:32 pm

Oh, thank gods she's leaving, how wonderful for you! If she's got no authority over you - and she's not actively undermining you and trying to get you fired - I'd just ignore it and count the days until she's gone. Mark the calendar and put aside a special bottle to celebrate with when she's gone.

If my upstairs neighbors would move out, I'd dance a jig and toast my thanks to Jesus.


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MissDorkness
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02 Apr 2015, 8:36 pm

Some people can smell out whom they can bully. Whether they're abusive or manipulative, they find people who are polite or passive or awkward enough to let them get out their aggression or superiority.

It's a very weird instinct, but, I know it exists.

I'm pretty lousy at standing up for myself, but, my stoic nature tends to intimidate people enough they avoid me.
My NT older sister is normally better with people, but, she goes to pieces when she's sick or faced with authority figures.
She's asked me to go with her to the ER a couple times. She'll approach people and ask things politely and the desk folks and nurses will blow her off, laugh or otherwise demean her. She cries and goes to the bathroom, then I walk up and just state facts... You've got an ill person who asked a question and you laughed, that's unprofessional, etc.
Then she'll come out and they'll be nice to her.
But, dollars to donuts, they'll treat the next person they smell difference on with the same disdain.


Ignore her as much as possible, and I'm glad she'll be gone soon. People who haven't experienced or witnessed the same from her will have a 'halo effect' and not believe you.



the_lone_wolf
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03 May 2015, 4:40 pm

I've left that job now, now in a two week temp job which is going well so far.

I do often think to myself how the girl in question is going to cope with no one to boss around though. She might have to do the filing herself :lol: