Disclosure SOS

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It's a common question/theme.. but so far my track record is 0-9; I end up burned and unemployed, every time. Please help.

I've disclosed nothing to this employer, as far as they're concerned: for 3yrs I've been a virtually perfect employee and I'm the one who will get the job done when others can't. Lately though, the job's become structurally chaotic and illogical. My achilles heel is showing.

My boss approached me today, almost begging me to open up to him - offering to chat over coffee, phone, text, email, even for me to "sketch a f**king picture" and send it to him.
I've tried telling him that I'm no more stressed than the 150 other employees, but to him I am the only one who's also chronically anorexic with deeply scarred wrists (though neither have changed since I started the job).

He's a nice enough guy, but I don't trust anyone. The very idea of disclosure... I can hardly make eye contact with the man, let alone string a coherent sentence together for him. It would be great if he was able understand that my stressors are just different, but to an NT they only sound crazy.. and I do look the part.

What would you do?

It saddens me to hear you are and have been going through so much stress. It seems to me you have a boss at least this time that values not just your work but yourself. He seems overwhelmed to want to understand. As i know not every situation is the best to open up about such things, maybe this time it may pay off. What have you to lose in that respect. If you can not tell him face to face maybe write him as he has asked for that also... He clearly sees something a little different and could have been a jerk and sent you on your way but he seems very much to want to know and understand. Maybe explain and express what difficulties you face at work daily... Maybe give him the respect this time he seems to have given you and open up a little and try to come out of that closed shell... Trust is not an easy thing for many of us especially when we often give it out and get burned but there are times one has to put a little faith in trust and hope. You never know,. you might be surprised I deeply wish you all the best and hope you can find the strength to reach out a little on this occasion.

Maybe partial disclosure? What your specific problems are as relates to this particular job? The fact that your employer is approaching you seems to suggest that he actually wants you to succeed....but I agree with you about being careful about disclosure of diagnosis. He doesn't really need to know what specific diagnosis you have. Lots of people with mental conditions need structure and predictability, autism is not the only condition.

If you don't show him that you are doing something about the situation, it might be bad for you, though. Depends how much pressure he's got on him. If he's under a lot of pressure to perform, he might be ready to work with you on solving problems. In my last job the I got outstanding reviews from customers, but I got fired anyway, mainly for being 'too anxious'. Which basically meant that work performance was less important than social performance. So what is your boss's situation?

Thank you so much guys xxx Naturally I ran out of time to reply last night, but it was great to get other perspectives and I took it all on board.

@Biggles - you're absolutely right. He's unaware of my history with this issue and he is genuinely trying to help. It's not his fault that he doesn't know how and he at least deserves the same decency and respect in return.

@Underwater - He is under a lot of pressure, there are many bosses above him and KPIs are the company's bible. I like the idea of partial disclosure; the company doesn't need to know my business, but they do need to know how to get the best out of me.

I dropped by his office this afternoon, on the pretense of thanking him for his help on another matter (something I'd rehearsed all day). I explained, in simple terms, why I'd asked for his help and how his actions had resolved the problem for me.
He's an intelligent man and judging by his responses, I think the puzzles pieces are already showing a clearer picture for him.

It's more of a 'slow release' partial disclosure, but at least it opened up some communication avenues for us both **phew**