Page 1 of 2 [ 24 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

hvtitan08
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 355
Location: Virginia

03 Dec 2017, 1:37 pm

I am planning on getting back to work soon, and my most major fear is making gay friends while I am employed and working?
How do I overcome my fears and frustrations on making gay friends while employed? :oops:


_________________
Christina Jameson - aka "Kristy"


elbowgrease
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2017
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,468
Location: Arcata,CA

03 Dec 2017, 7:49 pm

Are you worried that you will make gay friends, or that you won't?



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

05 Dec 2017, 4:22 am

elbowgrease wrote:
Are you worried that you will make gay friends, or that you won't?

:lol: Agreed, it wasn't quite clear. To the OP - why do you need to / need to avoid making gay friends, in particular?


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


hvtitan08
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 355
Location: Virginia

06 Dec 2017, 6:41 pm

elbowgrease wrote:
Are you worried that you will make gay friends, or that you won't?



I am afraid that I will, even though I shouldn't discriminate. I am a big homophobic, as well as much a chicken at other things.


_________________
Christina Jameson - aka "Kristy"


ok
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 371
Location: Denmark, EU.

07 Dec 2017, 6:23 am

Dude, you're trolling us, aren't you?


_________________
Check out my music: http://theimmoderatepast.bandcamp.com


elbowgrease
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2017
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,468
Location: Arcata,CA

07 Dec 2017, 7:47 pm

At the op.
I read one of your other posts about this, which cleared up my original question.
Just don't worry about it. I doubt there will be any problem at all.
I really don't know how to start this post, honestly, because our perspectives are very different.
But I think I have to say you've got nothing to worry about, really. If you do happen to meet a gay person at work, just treat them the same way you'd treat anyone else, and the same way you would want to be treated. That's really all there is to it. They're just people. No different than anyone else. Be open minded. If you're friends, be friends. If you aren't friends, be civil enough to do the job. But don't decide not to be friendly just because you think the person might be gay.
It's weird for me because my mom's a lesbian, so the concept of homophobia is pretty foreign to me in some ways. I've experienced the receiving end of it before, but trying to actually put myself in that mindset in order to write this is proving difficult. And to some extent, it kind of blows me away to understand that this is something people actually think about. I guess.
But I think that you're actually worried, and it seems like you don't want to be that way. Sort of like, you have a legitimate irrational fear of homosexuality, and you understand that it is an irrational fear, and you are trying to dispell that fear. And I'm writing this to try to tell you that you have nothing to worry about, really.

That's the best I can do right now.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,750
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

10 Dec 2017, 1:40 am

hvtitan08 wrote:
I am planning on getting back to work soon, and my most major fear is making gay friends while I am employed and working?
How do I overcome my fears and frustrations on making gay friends while employed? :oops:


Hmm, perhaps you could ask yourself a few questions like:

"What am I afraid of? Why would I fear finding out that a coworker's sexual orientation is homosexual? What difference would that make in the workplace when neither of our job descriptions is to have sex with each other? Why am I afraid of meeting a gay person when really they should fear me because it's almost always the irrational homophobe who attacks the gay person and not the other way around?"


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 14,529
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

10 Dec 2017, 2:05 pm

Just...treat them like a normal person? :/


_________________
When in doubt, ask someone with ASD. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,750
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

10 Dec 2017, 3:06 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
Just...treat them like a normal person? :/


IKR?

My first reaction to finding out what this thread was actually about was "lolwtf? Why is this even a thing this day & age?" But then I remembered that it was only ~4 years ago that I spent a YEAR of my free time acting as my own lawyer defending myself through the process of the BC Human Rights Tribunal against some (completely unhinged) homophobe who tried to get me fired because he couldn't stand to work on the same job site as someone who is gay. He was the first coworker I ever came out to in casual conversation about the Sochi Olympics. Figured he'd be Ok with it considering he was a tattoo artist and they tend to be pretty live and let live people. Nooooope - biggest homophobe I ever met. Ah well, I learned a lot and am stronger for it. Stupid crap like this still happens even in the most liberal of Canadian cities, here in the suburbs of Vancouver, BC.

So, I guess it's not THAT weird for the OP to think that way.. but it's still stupid, ridiculous, absurd etc & deserves a good "lolwtf?" response from every sane, rational, person reading it.

Newsflash to the OP: Gay people don't go to work to rape anyone. We go to work to earn money to exchange for goods and services, like everyone else. Further to that, the chances of a gay coworker even being attracted to you are slim. Just because you're male doesn't mean a gay person wants anything to do with you, sexually, or at all for that matter. Even if you're their idea of a perfect 10 model, as soon as they realize your personality is beyond ugly, they won't so much as want to speak with you unless they're the type that either wants to educate a homophobe until they no longer fear gay people, or simply wants to get under your skin to see you squirm in your own ridiculous homophobic thoughts. Anyways, far too many homophobes make the mistaken assumption that just because someone is gay that it mean they want to F*ck them. Not true. At all. Get over yourself.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 14,529
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

10 Dec 2017, 3:12 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
Just...treat them like a normal person? :/


IKR?

My first reaction to finding out what this thread was actually about was "lolwtf? Why is this even a thing this day & age?" But then I remembered that it was only ~4 years ago that I spent a YEAR of my free time acting as my own lawyer defending myself through the process of the BC Human Rights Tribunal against some (completely unhinged) homophobe who tried to get me fired because he couldn't stand to work on the same job site as someone who is gay. He was the first coworker I ever came out to in casual conversation about the Sochi Olympics. Figured he'd be Ok with it considering he was a tattoo artist and they tend to be pretty live and let live people. Nooooope - biggest homophobe I ever met. Ah well, I learned a lot and am stronger for it. Stupid crap like this still happens even in the most liberal of Canadian cities, here in the suburbs of Vancouver, BC.

So, I guess it's not THAT weird for the OP to think that way.. but it's still stupid, ridiculous, absurd etc & deserves a good "lolwtf?" response from every sane, rational, person reading it.

Newsflash to the OP: Gay people don't go to work to rape anyone. We go to work to earn money to exchange for goods and services, like everyone else. Further to that, the chances of a gay coworker even being attracted to you are slim. Just because you're male doesn't mean a gay person wants anything to do with you, sexually, or at all for that matter. Even if you're their idea of a perfect 10 model, as soon as they realize your personality is beyond ugly, they won't so much as want to speak with you unless they're the type that either wants to educate a homophobe until they no longer fear gay people, or simply wants to get under your skin to see you squirm in your own ridiculous homophobic thoughts. Anyways, far too many homophobes make the mistaken assumption that just because someone is gay that it mean they want to F*ck them. Not true. At all. Get over yourself.


If you ask me, if someone takes one look at people like us and goes "I'm terrified that they'll rape/assault me," I'd be questioning the morality of the person who said that and what their expectations of society and gender norms are. Just overall pretty concerning. :/


_________________
When in doubt, ask someone with ASD. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,750
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

10 Dec 2017, 3:15 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
If you ask me, if someone takes one look at people like us and goes "I'm terrified that they'll rape/assault me," I'd be questioning the morality of the person who said that and what their expectations of society and gender norms are. Just overall pretty concerning. :/


Definitely. But what else, besides rape, could someone possibly be irrationally fearing from knowing someone's sexual orientation is an attraction to the gender they happen to be? It's about the only thing that makes sense in this whole nonsensical realm of homophobia.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 14,529
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

10 Dec 2017, 3:17 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
If you ask me, if someone takes one look at people like us and goes "I'm terrified that they'll rape/assault me," I'd be questioning the morality of the person who said that and what their expectations of society and gender norms are. Just overall pretty concerning. :/


Definitely. But what else, besides rape, could someone possibly be irrationally fearing from knowing someone's sexual orientation is an attraction to the gender they happen to be? It's about the only thing that makes sense in this whole nonsensical realm of homophobia.


Well, it's homophobia. I'm not even sure if I fully understand it. :shrug:


_________________
When in doubt, ask someone with ASD. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,750
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

10 Dec 2017, 3:20 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
Well, it's homophobia. I'm not even sure if I fully understand it. :shrug:


True.. so here's an interracial gay kiss:

Image


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 14,529
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

10 Dec 2017, 3:21 pm

Image


_________________
When in doubt, ask someone with ASD. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 32,540
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

10 Dec 2017, 3:24 pm

Perhaps it would be good if you made friends with someone gay, might help dispel your concerns and open your mind a bit.


_________________
There's a magic spider on the wind
He spins a web for you
And if you wish upon a spider
All your wishes will all come true
-Nekrogoblikon


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,750
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

10 Dec 2017, 3:29 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Perhaps it would be good if you made friends with someone gay, might help dispel your concerns and open your mind a bit.


Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!! ! Let's not talk crazy talk now.. baby steps. It'd be much more realistic of an expectation that perhaps a few gay forum members can impart just enough knowledge on this homophobe that he not treat a gay person IRL like they're subhuman. Baby steps, Sweeetleaf, baby steps.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.