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hurtloam
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06 Nov 2018, 8:30 am

Fos11 wrote:
But i cant live with my parents forever, can i?


Think short term. Baby steps. It's not all or nothing.

You're only 19. Each new day is a new step towards gaining more independence.

Someone earlier suggested helping with tasks around the house. That's excellent advice for beginning to learn how to live independently.

If you do nothing now, then yes you will have difficulty in the future. But if you do small things now it will help you build a future.

Think of how houses are built. Do you suddenly see a fully built house appearing on a street?

No. That's because over time each little brick was placed on top of the other to build something bigger.

Everyone's life is like that.

The little parts that build our life don't look like much on their own, but when you start putting them together over the years you can make something good of your life.



Fos11
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06 Nov 2018, 8:32 am

I would not be so depressed if i had atleast a highschool diploma, well it isnt called that in switzerland, but something similar. Why? Necause i have no chance to find skilled employment.



Fnord
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06 Nov 2018, 10:01 am

Let's do a re-cap. This is a list of excuses you have posted for not having a job, sorted alphabetically.

Fos11 wrote:
Desk Jobs need higher education.
I can’t drive.
I could not afford a car.
I dropped out of school.
I hate unskilled work because it pays low and it is soul-crushing.
I hate work.
I have autism.
I have no chance to find skilled employment.
I have severe anxiety and depression.
I will end up homeless anyway.
I will end up on the streets, without disability benefits.
I will never be able to work, or even live independently.
I will never be able to live independent.
If I can’t work full time i will end up homeless.
I’m probably unable to work anyway so i would need benefits.
Low paying jobs don’t get you anywhere.
Rags to riches is a capitalistic lie.
These Jobs pay so little.
Those autists who don’t end up homeless are just very lucky.
Unskilled work is more often than not, not an opportunity.
Unskilled work is soul crushing and it pays low.
What difference does it make? I would still not be independent.
You can’t live off work programs.
You can’t live on part time jobs.

[opinion=mine]

Other than having autism, what I see points toward a self-defeating attitude that inspires you to give up before you have even tried.

If the self-defeating attitude is the over-riding factor, then get up, grow up, get out, and get a job!

But if autism, anxiety, and depression really are the over-riding factors, then get help, go on disability, and try to live your life as best you can.

These seem to be your only two options.

[/opinion]



hobojungle
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06 Nov 2018, 11:43 am

I agree with hurtloam: baby steps. You cite having no high school degree (or the Swiss equivalent) as a roadblock, understandably so. Here in the US, one might work toward a GED, (General Educational Development). I imagine that can be done online?

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. I do remember the fear I felt in young adulthood. To say I was inadequately prepared would be a gross understatement. :(

One book that has helped me, even in my advanced state of decrepitude :D , is: The Loving Push: How Parents & Professionals Can Help Spectrum Kids Become Successful Adults by Temple Grandin, Ph.D. & Debra Moore Ph.D. True, it’s geared toward others helping us, but if we wait for that to happen, we’ll probably die of old age.



BTDT
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06 Nov 2018, 12:02 pm

Fos11 wrote:
But i cant live with my parents forever, can i?


They are obligated to support you until you complete your education. Not sure what that means since you dropped out of school repeatedly. Perhaps you are already done with your education, so their obligation is done as well. You may want to consult the authorities about their obligations.



Fos11
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06 Nov 2018, 12:09 pm

They could kick me out, but that would make me homeless. I dont think they really want that. I dont know if there is something aimilar to a GED in switzerland.



nick007
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07 Nov 2018, 9:58 am

Fos11 wrote:
I would not be so depressed if i had atleast a highschool diploma, well it isnt called that in switzerland, but something similar. Why? Necause i have no chance to find skilled employment.
I really wanted to drop out of high-skewl but my parents refused & insisted that I needed at least a high-skewl diploma to have a chance at finding a job. I have a high-skewl diploma & have filled out LOTS of job apps. I have NEVER seen a section asking about high-skewl(there is one for college thou) & I never saw high-skewl diploma or GED mentioned as a requirement. I'm in the exact same job situation as someone who doesn't have a high-skewl diploma or GED even thou I have a diploma so I feel like my parents lied to me about needing it for jobs or they were extremely misinformed. I'm in the US thou. I don't know if it's going to be like that in your country. Is there some kind of program where adults can get a high-skewl diploma equivalent like a GED program in the US :?: That might make you feel alittle better.


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Fnord
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07 Nov 2018, 10:12 am

Fos11 wrote:
... I dont know if there is something aimilar to a GED in Switzerland.
Find out.



kraftiekortie
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07 Nov 2018, 10:18 am

There are "adult education" opportunities in Switzerland.

What sort of "track" were you on in Switzerland?

We have that here in the United States. One can go to a (usually) community college, and pick up "certificates" for such things as x-ray technician and substance-abuse counselor.



hurtloam
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07 Nov 2018, 10:19 am

Fnord wrote:
Fos11 wrote:
... I dont know if there is something aimilar to a GED in Switzerland.
Find out.


The amount of people on this forum who don't know how to use Google to look up useful information blows my mind... and we grew up without the help of me the Internet.

This forum makes me feel old.



Fnord
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07 Nov 2018, 10:25 am

hurtloam wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Fos11 wrote:
... I dont know if there is something aimilar to a GED in Switzerland.
Find out.
The amount of people on this forum who don't know how to use Google to look up useful information blows my mind...
There is also this new invention called the "Telephone". You pick it up, key in a few numbers, wait a few seconds, and you can actually speak directly with someone who may be hundreds, or even thousands of miles away! Isn't that simply amazing?



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08 Nov 2018, 2:18 am

When I was 16 there was a bag boy at the market who I would occasionally watch push the carts in. I estimate that he was about my age. I envisioned he would work there for a while and move on with his life after he finished high school. I moved to a different part of town next to a cheaper supermarket so I stopped frequenting that supermarket, however once in a while I would have a need to go there, and I would see him working the checkstand.

Eventually I moved away and then returned ten years later. 20 years had passed by this time...he was still there. Only he was no longer a bag boy or a cashier but at this point, he was the store manager, had married and started a family.



Fos11
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09 Nov 2018, 12:11 pm

Im just gonna be honest, i hate work. There is nothing more than i hate. Especially if the work is low paid, or even umpaid. Maybe im really lazy, but i just dont see how work, especially low skilled work benefkts me.



hurtloam
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09 Nov 2018, 1:10 pm

We've been over this.

No one likes work.

We do it to make money. It's how the world works. If we don't work we don't get money, we don't get food or clothes or shelter.

You start in a low paid low skilled job. Everyone does. It's boring. Everyone finds it boring.

Through your low paid job you gain experience. You prove that you are responsible and reliable. You get references and move on to another employer. You may get paid more in the next job. You gain more experience and so on.

Having your own income that you worked for is pretty good. You feel like you earned it, because you did.



Fos11
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09 Nov 2018, 1:12 pm

Thats why i find non existing favorable. Yes i would rather die, than live. Because life simply sucks.



hurtloam
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09 Nov 2018, 1:17 pm

Fos11 wrote:
Thats why i find non existing favorable. Yes i would rather die, than live. Because life simply sucks.


Work doesn't rob your world of joy. There are other good things in life. Works also helps you make money to do things you enjoy like go to the cinema, or go to a theme park or whatever you enjoy.

You may even end up in a job you actually enjoy like I have. If took years to get here, but if I'd given up at 19 I wouldn't be here.

I felt the same as you at 19. I think my parents thought I'd never get a job or learn to drive.