Worried I am going to get fired

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Ok. How do I explain this? I am currently working as a Housekeeper at a Premier Inn hotel. I really thought I was doing well but the last few shifts I feel I have got worse. However, I am still in training but still people think I am the slowest person out of all the Housekeeping staff. On my last shift I made lots of mistakes so today I got paired up with the Head Housekeeper today to "correct my errors". I really thought I was improving. What a mistake! I went slightly overtime only because I was helping the Head Housekeeper do her rooms as well as my own. And still, I get blamed for the overtime because "I am not being quick enough". I said nothing mainly because if I spelt out my version of things I would just get accused of making excuses, get invited to a disciplinary hearing or worse get sacked. I have been told to focus more on what I am doing and pay more attention. The truth is, if I am quick and speedy, I make mistakes and I get into trouble. I haven't even told them I have Asperger's. Mainly because I am worried about that they will discriminate me or dismiss me or both. Today has left me feeling like I can't do anything right and the odd one out. I have been trying to fight back tears all the way through my shift and wait until I get home and then cry. I really don't want to get fired as I have put in a lot of effort to get a job after being unemployed for two years and the last thing I want is be put onto Universal Credit and face more grief. This is one of the reasons why I hate being on the spectrum is because of the difficulty of employment and its why 80% of Aspies are out of work because of the unfair treatment they receive and anxiety problems, etc. I want to put things right again and I am just dreading getting into even more serious trouble just because I am autistic. Any advice or sympathy would be very much appreciated.

Instead of panicking and worrying you will get fired, ask your boss pro-actively for specific suggestions about how you can speed up. Ask if she/he will watch you clean a room and identify targets for going faster. You might be overly meticulous with the vacuuming, for instance.

People in the home cleaning business differentiate between "deep cleaning" and "surface cleaning." Maybe you are too focused on "deep" while your job wants you to do "surface."

When you respond positively to feedback from a supervisor, it not only makes you a better worker, but it demonstrates that you are willing and able to improve.

If you get fired, you get fired - cross that bridge if and when you come to it. If you freak out about the possibility of getting fired, you actually increase the chance of that happening.

I think BeaArthur is on the right track.

Sometimes a manager will say one thing but not actually mean that one has to take a perfectionist approach to meeting their goal. It is a bit of a trade-off. For example getting task done in a timely manner or doing the task perfectly. One is more important in the manager's mind than the other. So getting insight of the relative importance of each of the goals can help you.

Also since you are feeling overwhelming stress, it is important to purge some of this stress from your body each day. Find someplace you can scream at the top of your lungs without disturbing anyone and then scream. That will help relieve the stress built up in your neck muscles, vocal cords and jaws.

The thing is though, if someone watches over me, it makes me make mistakes and I feel uneasy. I can concentrate better if no one invades my personal space. I feel more secure if no one keeps checking up on me every five minutes.

How is the situation working out for you?

Yesterday the hotel manager and I had a little review and we agreed a plan for her and the rest of the management team to support with things that I may be struggling with. So maybe I am not going to get fired after all. But I won't hold my breath. However, I have other stuff on my mind as well which is probably affecting my performance a bit.

Well, I hope it continues stable for you at the job. Sounds to me like you are handling things all right.

One of the lessons I learned in life was about criticism.

When I was growing up I was subjected to severe bullying. I learned to reject any comment they made about me. As an adult I tended to reject all types of criticism because I felt it was a personal attack against me. As I matured, I learned there are two types of criticism. One is destructive criticism and the other is constructive criticism. The destructive criticism is very much like an adult version of bullying. But constructive criticism is rather the opposite. It is someone trying to help you actually succeed at what you do. It can make you a better person.

You make an excellent point there. You are right that I am experiencing constructive criticism however, I do overhear my manager and colleagues talking about me behind my back and I get a bit confused about what they are planning to do to me. Sometimes I take things a bit too personally, I will not deny that. What is bothering me also, the Head Housekeeper is Russian so I can find it hard to process what she is saying to me. She is always putting me down, making me feel I can't do anything right and I am starting to hate her now. She backed off today but I had three other members of the management team help me with my rooms as I was a bit behind. Having three people surround me at once made me feel like I was being ganged up on but I know they weren't really. I probably felt uncomfortable because I think they will talk behind my back, discussing what a strange person I am. And when we eventually finished to of my other colleagues were still working and I felt I was being treated in a discriminated way. When I hear people discussing me or telling me I am not doing something the way I should be doing it, it makes me feel ashamed and hurt just because I am different. I hope things will get better as I can't afford to lose my job.

I make more mistakes when observed too. Even when the observer is not at all critical.

With cleaning, I can tell you there are short cuts you need to learn which make it look like you did the cleaning, but don't really spend all the time at it. If you have someone quiet and approachable as a co-worker, you can quietly, away from others, ask her for tips.

One tip I know about it because a company I hired to clean my house did: She would make a quick wipe of the tub, but not really clean it (ie, all over with cleaner.) Because I wanted the tub actually cleaned, I fired this company. But it was clearly standard operating procedure for this company.

The other tip on getting things done more quickly is figure out how to do more than one thing at a time, and how to get two things done with one trip. I'm not sure what that would look like in your job, but an off-the-cuff example would be: Gather all the supplies that need replacing at one time (ie, towels, little bottles of stuff, etc) and carry them in all at the same time. Carry out everything at one time too: dirty towels, tie up the trash bags and take them out at the same time. IOW, minimize the number of back and forth trips. Vacuum quickly and last, start from the furthest part from the door and vacuum backward toward the door.

Don't listen to your coworkers or other staff. Use that energy to figure out the most efficient way to get your cleaning done.

Good luck.

in my experience, being unable to interpret peoples' non-verbal communication with you is a catalyst for workplace anxiety.

Basically, people will verbalise their problems with you, but show support and praise more subtly, through behaviour and tact. But since you cannot interpret that behaviour and tact, the only communication your brain successfully records is the criticism. This leads you to a belief that you are criticised more than you are praised, even though realistically you might be receiving 100 non-verbal praises for every verbal criticism!! !

Sadly the only things you can do about this are:
1. Be honest with colleagues and express a need for verbal praise. But this can be hard for some people to give, and it can make you come across as needy and insecure. IME, people only give verbal praise for outstanding work, not just normal satisfactory work.
2. Try to believe in yourself, believe you are good and go out of your way to make sure you're doing everything you can, the best you can. If you do everything you can the best you can, at least you'll know that if you're fired you couldn't have helped it. But personally I've spent the last 10 years working as hard as I possibly can and now i have a reputation as someone with exceptional ability, my praise comes in the form of owning a successful business with huge clients i never dreamed of.

Maybe that sounds idealistic but it's not a million miles away. I'm from Reading, I worked a rubbish job in a supermarket where i never got on with people. I know where you're at. You can progress to a place where your aspergers becomes an asset not a hinderance, if you work for it.

My son-in-law works in a customer service call center. It is what many people think of as a yucky job. But after quite a few years as just an operator, he finally got promoted to supervisor, which he likes much, much more. He describes it as "no more direct contact with the general public - just telling other workers how to do to their job."

My point is that even an unglamorous job can morph into a better job if you just stick with it and make the effort to continually improve.

If you don't like your job, tell yourself "it's just a job - not a career." If you do like it, then you can start calling it a career!