Page 2 of 4 [ 51 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,305

11 Nov 2020, 7:23 pm

Document everything. Record video/audio if possible.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

11 Nov 2020, 9:35 pm

He seems to only be like that to me when he's in a bad mood. He seems to be in a bad mood if he has an annual leave (holiday) coming up. Since he had a week off, he seems happier and is being nice again.
Maybe he has issues at home with his wife.
Still, it's still no excuse to take it out on me. I have a close loved one battling with stage 4 cancer and it is really affecting me emotionally, but I don't go into work and take it out on my co-workers. It's not their fault she has cancer, no more than I can help the fact that he may have problems of his own at home.

I have learnt to leave my family problems at home when I come to work, and leave my work problems at work when I go home, and not use other people as punchbags if they do nothing to trigger you. All I do is arrive to work with a positive attitude, then get my head down and do whatever tasks I am given, and cause no grief for anyone. I get on well with the team too.


_________________
Female


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

14 Nov 2020, 1:01 pm

The supervisor just is unorganized and doesn't think ahead or see the full picture properly. In fact I don't think he could organise a piss-up in a brewery. And he has a very droll way of dealing with things.
He allows the cleaner on the late night shift to go home 1 or sometimes even 2 hours before the time she gets paid until. So she does like 3 hours of work a night but gets paid for 5. And if he got caught out by the big boss, he will find himself in a lot of trouble. I'm so tempted to tell the big boss, but I've been told by my friends not to, and I don't want to be a snitch. But still, he shouldn't really be getting away with this. There is work for the night cleaner to do, and the day staff are commenting on things not being done at night that she's assigned to do, but he takes it out on all of us if he gets yelled at, even though we're the ones that are working hard, doing everything we're assigned to do and finishing our shift at the time we're supposed to finish and not before.

It just doesn't seem fair.


_________________
Female


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

14 Nov 2020, 5:19 pm

Standing up for your rights isn't snitching. We have laws in the UK to protect you from this behaviour. He is in the wrong, not you.

Seriously, keep a diary and use it as proof to show the boss.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

15 Nov 2020, 3:33 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Standing up for your rights isn't snitching. We have laws in the UK to protect you from this behaviour. He is in the wrong, not you.

Seriously, keep a diary and use it as proof to show the boss.


He is in the wrong I know, but I am still afraid of doing it. I wouldn't mind if I could do it anonymously, or tell the big boss that it never came from me, but I still have a feeling that the others will work out that it was me who told. Is it my business to snitch on the supervisor for letting the night cleaner go home early? I was only let into the secret because I'm to be trusted that I won't tell, so sometimes I think that silence is golden. But at the same time, he can't keep getting away with this.


_________________
Female


Dial1194
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2019
Age: 124
Gender: Male
Posts: 413
Location: Australia

19 Nov 2020, 11:57 pm

Joe90 wrote:
He seems to love being there as long as he can on his own.


Other possibilities: He's having an affair with the worker he's signing out early. He's stealing from or defrauding the company and doesn't want anyone around to see him doing it. He's signing himself out early as well and doesn't want anyone around to tattle on him. He's using the time to run his own company on the side.

Honestly, this kind of behavior is extremely suspicious.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

24 Nov 2020, 6:54 pm

Dial1194 wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
He seems to love being there as long as he can on his own.


Other possibilities: He's having an affair with the worker he's signing out early. He's stealing from or defrauding the company and doesn't want anyone around to see him doing it. He's signing himself out early as well and doesn't want anyone around to tattle on him. He's using the time to run his own company on the side.

Honestly, this kind of behavior is extremely suspicious.


I think he's using the workplace as his second home, treating it like he lives there and runs the place or something. But he doesn't. He's got his own home and a wife.
I don't think he is having an affair with the worker he signs out early, as he wouldn't look at her twice and she wouldn't look at him twice, but I do believe he plays favourites with her.
He wants to make me do more work so that she can do less, even though her contracted hours are longer than mine. He's now trying to make me do two different physical tasks at the same time just to halve her one task. The last time I done two physical tasks at once* I strained the muscles in my arms and I was also struggling to catch up but he didn't offer to give me a hand. And then he yelled at me the next day because I couldn't finish everything.

I love my job, I love the place and I love what I do, but the supervisor is making it so stressful for me when needn't. I waited years to get this job and I was so happy when I finally did get it, so leaving is not an option. But it is such a shame that this one person is making me unhappy.

How can I let this on to the big boss anonymously? Although the supervisor deserves to be suspended or even fired, I still don't want to be held responsible for it, as I've heard of people doing that and then the person that deservably got fired got their revenge on the victim by stalking them and trying to set their house alight. The supervisor is such a workaholic and isn't a very compassionate person, so I worry that he might get revenge on me if he finds out that I ratted him out. It actually has happened to someone I know. I don't need that kind of stress in my life.

*Nothing to do with multitasking, it actually involves either carrying too many heavy things at once or going back and forth to get them, which takes up time. And no, he won't give us carts or anything.
I think it's OK if you're a strong guy with big hands but even then it is difficult and too much.


_________________
Female


AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,660
Location: Houston, Texas

28 Nov 2020, 9:48 am

Joe90 wrote:
. . . He allows the cleaner on the late night shift to go home 1 or sometimes even 2 hours before the time she gets paid until. So she does like 3 hours of work a night but gets paid for 5. And if he got caught out by the big boss, he will find himself in a lot of trouble. I'm so tempted to tell the big boss, but I've been told by my friends not to, and I don't want to be a snitch. . .

This is an area where I as a person on the spectrum have trouble understanding non-spectrum people. The standard seems to be:

If it affects you, it’s standing up for yourself.

If the purpose is just to get someone in trouble, then it’s snitching.

And your work situation seems to be a gray area in which the night cleaner being sent home early causes extra work for you and your co-workers as well as often being criticized or yelled at.

I guess, don’t lead with this.

If you decide to talk with the main boss, lead with the three to five things which have most directly affected you. And it’s fine to go back two months or even longer, as you as you have a couple which are more recent.

You can even tell the main boss very plainly, I’m scared of him. Maybe I shouldn’t be, but I am.

And I think you can verbally tell him about the favoritism, that the night cleaner has all this slack cut, and the rest of you don’t.

And I don’t know if you need an actual list of your three to five biggest, more just the general idea of what you lead with and what you might mention in passing.



KimD
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 576

29 Nov 2020, 12:48 am

Quote:
This is an area where I as a person on the spectrum have trouble understanding non-spectrum people.


Perhaps a good way to think of someone like this is as a wild, predatory, and less-than-social animal acting in their own interests rather than as a supposedly civilized human being with a sense of fairness, integrity, kindness, and so on. Of course, some non-human animals have shown what can arguably considered altruistic behavior and most of them don't waste their time harassing another for no obvious practical gain. (Perhaps he perceives it to be of some greater advantage...?)

He probably has personal problems that helped shape his character, but that doesn't excuse him from acting like an intolerable, spiteful a-hole. Beyond that, I as an NT don't understand him either.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

30 Nov 2020, 3:50 pm

I just don't have the guts to tell the big boss what he's doing though. I have felt like it but I think I'm going to back down and keep my mouth shut, and hopefully he'll get found out one day if the big boss checks CCTV at the 'wrong' time.


_________________
Female


Throwawayacccounts
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 2 Dec 2020
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 23

02 Dec 2020, 6:55 pm

Joe90 wrote:
It's not like he hates the job either, in fact he volunteers to put in hours of extra overtime (sometimes even unpaid) even though there's nothing else to do.


He might not be doing it because he likes the job. He might be doing it due to job security, bored, or because he thinks it might help him move up the ranks.

Joe90 wrote:
But anyway, how do I deal with a supervisor like this? I don't like to tell the boss that he's making me feel this way because it might put him in a worse mood. He does hate his ass being kicked as it is.



The only choice I can see is find a new job. Like don't quit what you have until you have something else, but I think there is a bit of a risk in reporting him. If you trust the company to actually do something or not ding you for reporting him, then that is an option. But I haven't had ANY good experience doing that.

Outside of that, the only other option I can see is getting over it.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

02 Dec 2020, 8:39 pm

Finding a new job in a recession/lockdown? You must be joking!

I don't want a new job. I may be fed up with the supervisor but finding a new job isn't an option. I love my job, I love the place, I love the company. It's just this one person that is making life miserable and it's hard to avoid him because he's my supervisor.
He also breaks the COVID rules. He gets right up close to me when he's in one of his good moods and doesn't wear a mask. He could give me COVID if he had it, although he is 76 - yes, 76 years old! So if he had COVID he'll probably know about it, but he could have COVID in the pre-symptom stage.


_________________
Female


AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,660
Location: Houston, Texas

04 Dec 2020, 10:47 am

in my years at a place I’ll call “Quall”-Mart* I felt I was successful at outlasting a couple of crummy managers

* huge department store, I’m sure you’ve heard of it! :D



Quinntilda
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 204
Location: USA

18 Dec 2020, 8:00 pm

Catch them at the right time doing something and report it to the owner. They will get in big trouble for it.
Unfortunately this is how they are sometimes.
I worked for someone like that. She had a reason to hate everybody. (For me it was my brothers were managers and made more than her).
We got footage of her being physically abusive to another employee. We showed it to the boss who promptly fired her at the end of the week.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Dec 2020, 8:06 pm

There are lots of retail and seasonal jobs to be had. Really there are.

Some of these jobs suck----but it's better than having no job.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,660
Location: Houston, Texas

19 Dec 2020, 12:25 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
There are lots of retail and seasonal jobs to be had. Really there are. . .

Not during the Covid recession.

Yes, the economy will come back, but in fits and starts, and at unpredictable speed.