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Refering to females as "ladies" is dangerous in workplace

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Honey69
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23 Jun 2023, 10:18 am

https://www.boston.com/news/schools/202 ... er-ladies/

Quote:

A Mass. school committee rescinded a superintendent candidate’s job offer after he referred to women as ‘ladies’

...a superintendent finalist's offer to lead the city’s public schools was rescinded after he referred to women as “ladies” in an email — an act some school committee members reportedly viewed as a microaggression...

...The decision hinged on Perrone’s use of “ladies” in an email he sent to committee Chairperson Cynthia Kwiecinski over contract negotiations...

...Perrone, currently interim superintendent of schools in West Springfield, told the Daily Hampshire Gazette that Kwiecinski said using “ladies” was a microaggression and “the fact that he didn’t know that as an educator was a problem.”

He explained that the terms “ladies” and “gentlemen” were used as a sign of respect when he was growing up, adding that he wasn’t aiming to insult anyone....


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Sweetleaf
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23 Jun 2023, 10:27 am

It would help to see the context in the email in which he used it, and how he referred to men in the email.

but on the surface I would say that does seem a bit extreme, like couldn't they have just said they don't think it's appropriate to use that term and discouraged him from doing so in the future? But without knowing exactly what was said in the email it's hard to be certain how exactly I feel about it.


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Honey69
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23 Jun 2023, 10:46 am

I haven't found the e-mail itself, but here is an explanation

https://www.westernmassnews.com/2023/04 ... ee-ladies/

Quote:

...We obtained a copy of the email that lists negotiations, including more vacation time. He explained the main focus, was him addressing the school committee as quote “ladies” at the beginning of his email.

“She explained to me that they were insulted by the address, and I said well I grew up in a time the sixties seventies when ladies and gentlemen was a term of respect,” said Perrone. “That’s how I intended it, and I didn’t mean to insult you and was basically told my apology didn’t mean anything and they were going to rescind the offer.”...



The issue was addressing females as "ladies."


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Joe90
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23 Jun 2023, 10:55 am

Oh for crying out loud. :roll:


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23 Jun 2023, 11:38 am

Look, I'm non-binary and I don't care if someone calls me a lady. I'm not a lady, don't consider myself one, but frankly they don't know that.


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Honey69
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23 Jun 2023, 11:46 am

Most of you will have encountered at least one woman/female/lady (now popularly called a "Karen") who has a high sense of personal entitlement, who is extremely aggressive, and takes full advantage of her status. Such ladies are difficult to deal with anywhere, but especially in a workplace. I composed a song about one Karen that I knew:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEDFVf5 ... sicChannel


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KitLily
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23 Jun 2023, 11:54 am

I tend to say ladies instead of women as I think ladies is more polite.

I suppose if someone is talking out loud they could put a tone or implication into the word ladies but I don't think emails have tones.



Honey69
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23 Jun 2023, 1:24 pm

There are no doubt some Feminists who will say "Yeah! You go, grrrrl! Put that patriarch in his place!"

But, imagine if the genders had been reversed. If a man had said "I'm going to fire this woman because she called me a gentleman!"

She could sue and win, and his effigy would be burned throughout the world. And, he would look utterly ridiculous. No sympathy from any quarter.


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23 Jun 2023, 3:24 pm

I think the problem is they addressed the school committee that way which implies that membership in the committee is somehow linked with female gender, which is associated with an inferior status.


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Honey69
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23 Jun 2023, 5:48 pm

MaxE wrote:
I think the problem is they addressed the school committee that way which implies that membership in the committee is somehow linked with female gender,


From what I understand, they were all female.

MaxE wrote:
which is associated with an inferior status.


According to you?


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23 Jun 2023, 5:53 pm

There are worse things to be called.
It doesn’t offend me.


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Honey69
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23 Jun 2023, 6:08 pm

I suppose that he could have typed

Quote:

Hey, b*****s! I want more vacation time!


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Joe90
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23 Jun 2023, 8:06 pm

Honey69 wrote:
I suppose that he could have typed

Quote:

Hey, b*****s! I want more vacation time!



That would be understandable to get offended by.
It seems these days people choose to get offended by the slightest things.


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23 Jun 2023, 10:12 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Honey69 wrote:
I suppose that he could have typed

Quote:

Hey, b*****s! I want more vacation time!



That would be understandable to get offended by.
It seems these days people choose to get offended by the slightest things.


When I hear people say the word "woke", I assume they're referring specifically to the ones who are easily offended, those who feel the need to tiptoe around peoples' feelings, those who watch movies and TV shows simply to look for things that could be even remotely "problematic", those kinds of people.


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KitLily
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24 Jun 2023, 7:31 am

Joe90 wrote:
It seems these days people choose to get offended by the slightest things.


I'm generally sympathetic to people who are offended by big things but I know what you mean by those taking offence at the slightest thing. It's happened to me so often and I never know what I've said/done.

It's like people are carefully scanning our comments just looking for things to pick out to get offended by. Or waiting til we have one bad day to say 'aha! You were so nice until now but now we've seen your true colours and we can't ever speak to you again!'

Like they are setting a trap for us. :roll:



uncommondenominator
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24 Jun 2023, 7:43 am

I feel like there's more to it than just having used the term "ladies" in and of itself.

Before simply assuming that the women must be overreacting, and trying to stamp "woke" all over it, I'd wanna actually see what was written. Cos context matters.