Parent privileges?parental respect

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Itendswithmexx
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17 Oct 2021, 12:30 pm

Are there any? I feel that some people get special privileges for being a parent to anyone?

How do I get a hysterectomy?
I’ve already had a lobotomy for many mothers.



timf
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19 Oct 2021, 6:41 am

I am not sure I understand your situation, but it sounds like you are somewhat frustrated.

Raising children is often more difficult and less rewarding than is implied by TV and greeting cards.

Asperger children are even more of a challenge. The narrow focus of attention seldom broadens until after age 30 to allow for things like gratitude. It can even make the normal level of selfishness of children even greater.

You may never get "respect" for the work you do, but you can find sympathy and understanding from those who have traveled the same road.



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19 Oct 2021, 8:38 am

Itendswithmexx wrote:
Are there any? I feel that some people get special privileges for being a parent to anyone?  How do I get a hysterectomy?  I’ve already had a lobotomy for many mothers.
Is English your second language?  Parsing what you post is often difficult.



Vanga
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19 Oct 2021, 10:20 am

We need to respect our parents



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19 Oct 2021, 10:33 am

Vanga wrote:
We need to respect our parents
Even when they abuse us and abandon us?



magz
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20 Oct 2021, 7:37 am

Vanga's not with us anymore.

I think by default one should respect their parents - unless the parents' actions make them unrespectable beyond doubt.
There's much more than making mistakes and not being perfect required to gain the "unrespectable" status, though.


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Fnord
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20 Oct 2021, 8:41 am

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." -- Exodus 20:12 (NIV)

Modern Implication: "Be nice to your parents, or they may shorten your life."

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the LORD." -- Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

Modern Implication: "Be nice to your kids, and teach them what Jesus said."

So, yeah ... family members should all get along ... at least, that is the ideal case.



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20 Oct 2021, 8:52 am

As someone who grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household (with manipulative parental figures), I don't agree that parental respect is an automatic privilege. Parents are just as human as anyone else in my life, and my respect must be earned/maintained.


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Fnord
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20 Oct 2021, 8:57 am

Flown wrote:
As someone who grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household (with manipulative parental figures), I don't agree that parental respect is an automatic privilege...
I respectfully disagree; but, like all other privileges, respect for one's parents can be revoked at any time and for any reason, with physical or emotional abuse from one's parents being perfectly appropriate reasons.



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20 Oct 2021, 9:23 am

Fnord wrote:
I respectfully disagree; but, like all other privileges, respect for one's parents can be revoked at any time and for any reason, with physical or emotional abuse from one's parents being perfectly appropriate reasons.


I suppose we will have to continue to disagree :)

I believe that a healthy respect can be earned if parents only reciprocate it to their children (and, no, I don't mean letting them run wild and do whatever they want). When we teach children that they should automatically bow to an authority or the "seat of power, we do them a great disservice and deprive them of multiple learning opportunities. Demanding respect without good explanation not only defies logic but it discourages actual acts of communication, empathy, kindness, honesty, and gratitude. I think the aforementioned approach is unhealthy and unnecessary.


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20 Oct 2021, 9:33 am

Flown wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I respectfully disagree; but, like all other privileges, respect for one's parents can be revoked at any time and for any reason, with physical or emotional abuse from one's parents being perfectly appropriate reasons.
I suppose we will have to continue to disagree...
Actually, in a broader sense, we do agree.  In this case, I just happen to focus on the exceptions that test the rule moreso than the supporting facts.



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20 Oct 2021, 9:59 am

Flown wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I respectfully disagree; but, like all other privileges, respect for one's parents can be revoked at any time and for any reason, with physical or emotional abuse from one's parents being perfectly appropriate reasons.


I suppose we will have to continue to disagree :)

I believe that a healthy respect can be earned if parents only reciprocate it to their children (and, no, I don't mean letting them run wild and do whatever they want). When we teach children that they should automatically bow to an authority or the "seat of power, we do them a great disservice and deprive them of multiple learning opportunities. Demanding respect without good explanation not only defies logic but it discourages actual acts of communication, empathy, kindness, honesty, and gratitude. I think the aforementioned approach is unhealthy and unnecessary.


I'd say given the nature of how a relationship with one's parents works it's inevitable it will start from a point of respect. I agree with you that more can be earned once the kid gets old enough to understand things better.

I don't think both of your positions are out of alignment significantly. :nerdy:


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20 Oct 2021, 10:24 am

funeralxempire wrote:
... I don't think both of your positions are out of alignment significantly.
I think we are just coming at the same issue from different perspectives, like the blind men and the elephant.



funeralxempire
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20 Oct 2021, 10:30 am

Fnord wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
... I don't think both of your positions are out of alignment significantly.
I think we are just coming at the same issue from different perspectives, like the blind men and the elephant.


Exactly.


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20 Oct 2021, 12:51 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Fnord wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
... I don't think both of your positions are out of alignment significantly.
I think we are just coming at the same issue from different perspectives, like the blind men and the elephant.


Exactly.

Probably so! :) :heart:


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20 Oct 2021, 5:12 pm

I'd say if parents expect respect from their kids, they have to show it first because how do kids learn respect if it's not modeled to them?

Also just because a kid is following their parents rules and avoiding anything to upset them and not challenging them isn't always due to respect, it can be due to fear.


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