Nightmares..again

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My son is 5 years old with AS and anxiety. He's prone to nightmares. He's been having them again every night so far, sometimes even twice a night. He'll wake up in fear, go to bed, and have another horrible dream. I feel so bad for him. He sleeps with his little sister and that seems to help but he's still waking up in fear. He can't describe his dream to me because he's half asleep when he wakes up, and by the time morning comes around, he's either forgotten it or doesn't want to talk about it or can't talk about it. He has a tough time expressing himself also.

He's not allowed to watch any scary movies or games. The most violent toy he has is Power Ranger action figures. We have a Wii game called "Punch Out" where you can box against different characters. His father bought it (not my idea at all) and he seems to be very nervous when the characters fight against his father, and he gets upset to the point of meltdown when his father loses. My son won't play for fear of losing to the characters. That is the only thing I could think of that could cause nightmares.

It seems like he has a fear of being left alone. When he wakes up in the morning he always jumps up immediately if he is alone in the room and panics. Kinda like when toddler has separation anxiety. He also doesn't go downstairs by himself unless someone comes with him. He says he's afraid someone will open the door and come in. I've told him not to go outside by himself for fear of strangers but I didn't expect him to be afraid of his own home. I told him we've locked the doors and strangers don't have keys to our home but he doesn't believe me.

Before his diagnose, right before he turned 4, he also went through this stage. He was just completely afraid of being by himself. I had to constantly be in front of him, when I would sneak out to go use the bathroom he would freak out from fear. It isn't as bad as when he was 3-4 but I'm still really worried why it's happening. The constant nightmares are also worrisome. One of the problems is I work second shift so I can't be home for his bedtime routine. Can someone try to explain to me what's going on with him? Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.

nightmares can be caused by excessive anxiety. that is probably why your son is having nightmares.

Living with AS inherently carries anxiety, as much as you are taking steps to avoid it. It's a scary world when everything is so over-stimulating. Don't feel guilt as a mother that you have to work 2nd shift. I suggest keeping stimulation low. Dim lights. Avoid loud noises in his environment. Keep everything simple and non-cluttered.

Maybe making a video or a tape of you reading him a bedtime story that he enjoys or singing his fav song might help, also ending with you promising to be there in the morning might help him feel more at ease. It helps my younger son if we go threw what we are doing each day in the tub the night before. I always put a sunny spin on things even if it's something he does like to do like going to the doctor. I never lie to the kids but I do remind him after the doctor that we can go get icecream or play at the park ect to help him focus on the good parts of his up coming day. I hope some of this helps . Best of luck.

It's a nuisance that he can't describe his nightmares. I used to have Night Terrors as a child but I wasn't having dreams about books, films etc... It's possible that something else in his life, medication, bullies etc is influencing his sleeping hours.

One thing that I've noticed with my children - who don't have nightmares, compared to children of our friends who do.
The kids that do have nightmares are often more sheltered than mine.

My kids are 5 and 8 and I'm not a strong believer in censorship. I don't let them watch anything above PG without myself being present but I do let them watch things with me which are beyond the ratings. My kids have a VERY healthy knowledge of what's real and what's not. They've been told over and over again by me that since we have no monsters and since life is so boring without them, we "make them up" for books and films.

While we watch films, I'm constantly saying "that's real", "that's not", "we had dinosaurs once, but they all died a long time before people came along"...etc.... I also make sure that I get them to watch at least the selected highlights of the making of featurettes so that they can see how we make models, masks and aliens. Then, I play silly with them, pretending to chop my finger off with help from tomato sauce - I show them how it's done. I point out actors who are in multiple films - particularly if they've died in other roles.

Some of the things that BOTH of my kids have watched include; Titanic, Lord of the Rings, Braveheart, Resident Evil 3, Alien, Aliens, Star Wars 1-6 & Terminator 1-3, Jurassic Park 1-3, Harry Potter 1-5, Doctor Who, Torchwood, The Passion of the Christ.

I'm not suggesting that you expose your child to these sorts of films - not yet at least - and certainly not suddenly but I am suggesting that you might want to work on establishing firm barriers between what is REAL and what is not. There's scary enough material in advertising on TV which they may see unattended or at a friend's house. If they're not seeing this material in front of you and if you're not able to give a quick dismissal ("oh that's computer drawing" or "that's a man in rubber suit"), then of course it's going to haunt them after hours.

i used to have nightmares when i was younger, my parents used to try waking me up by washing cold water on my face but half of the time it took them 5 minutes before they could get a response from me. Afterwards theyd make me something to eat or drink and keep me awake for 10 minutes or so and then i'd sleep fine.

I dont believe that it was due to anything scary i'd seen, could be due to anxiety, i do know that mostly the dreams were about a witch, and that at school i missed out w in the alphabet because of it (sad i know but the more info you have the more it could help )

maybe you could try making sure that your son is fully awake after each nightmare before he goes back to sleep, and see if he wants to talk to you about it then?

hope this helps