Do Aspie children demand less attention than NT children?

Page 2 of 3 [ 35 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

laura123
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 54

11 Jul 2009, 8:12 pm

whipstitches wrote:
Marcia wrote:
My son is Aspie and he is very labour intensive and always has been. He is a whirlwind of activity, talks non-stop, climbs all over me, likes to organise people and to play complex games which he has made up. If he is still and quiet for any extended period of time, then I know he is ill!


Sounds just like my little girl! She never stops talking.... we live in a very small town and sometimes it is embarrassing because people don't know that she has AS. They just give me looks like "why don't you make her shut up" or they will say things like "she sure is talkative... is she like that all the time?". I am used to her talking and don't really mind that much because just like lots of other Aspie kids, she spends a lot of time alone talking to herself. She talks to herself while playing with her dolls. It is a never ending string of "doll commentary" that can be heard through the air exchange register in the downstairs living room area. My husband and I get the biggest kick out of listening to the things that come through that little opening in the ceiling!!

Despite being a very solitary child, my daughter can be very demanding when she wants to be. She is very inflexible and has a lot of routines. We get "bossed around" by her a good bit of the time because she needs for us to do everything "just so".

This is SOOO my AS daughter!! ! She is way more demanding than her NT sister.
Quote:
My favorite (or maybe least favorite...hehehe) is when she decides to ask us opinion questions. She will ask things like, "What is your favorite color? Blue or green?".... when I say that my favorite is green, she will say, "Wrong.... your favorite color is blue. Daddy's favorite color is green."

We get "what's your favourite color?" Whatever you say 'Why?'" comes after :lol: . And then another 'Why?' and another.... She does try to start arguments sometimes: What color is my book? Green. NOO it's red. Even if it is green and she knows that, she just likes the argument :roll: .



whipstitches
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 323
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada

12 Jul 2009, 10:48 am

laura123.... You have a daughter with AS? I am trying really hard right now to find other women and girls with AS or other ASD's. I am surrounded by girls on the spectrum at home and am really interested in learning from real people about what their little girls are like. The concept is much like WrongPlanet, but for women and girls only. I do love WrongPlanet, however. It is a valuable resource for sure! I just think an all female forum might be nice since there are so few of us. Especially for parents of girls with AS or other ASD's. If you are interested there is a link for my page in my signature line below. The address is www.aspiegirls.com


_________________
www.aspiegirls.com


laura123
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 54

14 Jul 2009, 3:08 am

Thank you for your invitation. It's a really nice website. I watched the clip Diagnosing Autism in girls and it made me cry :cry: . My daughter is some much like the girl in the clip. I realised that deep down I still struggle to accept the fact that my daughter has AS.



Simone-Blanchard
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 26

19 Jul 2009, 10:58 am

I played a big role in raising my NT little brother and I watched kids all the time. When I had my son I thought it would be similar to my little bro. That was my operating model (totally silly in retrospect). My GOODNESS was I wrong.

My guy has a diagnosis of mild Aspergers. He was an incredibly demanding baby. He had to be held 24-7, he would only sleep next to me, he would hardly eat anything outside of breastmilk until about 18 months, he woke up every few hours, he had horrible gas and digestive issues (poor bean). I was sleep-deprived for 2 years. And only mommy was acceptable. I would describe him as high needs. Thank goodness for the Bjorn and the sling.

Now that he is a toddler, things are getting much easier. He is really into books and can self-amuse for large chunks of time. At this age, my little brother was a lot more hyper and hard to corral ... he was a wild man with limited fears. My son is pretty easy going ... I don't have to worry about him jumping off things or tearing part the house. (Of course I have another set of concerns.)

So I think its a give and take. The biggest lesson for me is to enter things with an open mind.



Tory_canuck
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,373
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

24 Jul 2009, 3:53 am

When I was small, I was up alot due to stomach pain and such.I was a handful for my dad.My biological mother left when I was 18 months old.I liked being held and cuddled.I was very demanding of attention and used to get upset when dropped off at the babysitter by my dad when he went to work.He had a few jobs.He did fencing and when he wasn't doing that, he was milking cows.When he did the cow milking, i was able to go with him to the farm and see the cows and other farm animals.When I was about 4 or 5 I started spending more time playing outside with my older NT sister and my younger NT cousin.We all lived on the same piece of farmland at the time.


My NT sister wasn't as demanding as me


_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.

ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!


MorbidMiss
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 333

25 Jul 2009, 10:01 pm

I have three children, only one with ASD as far as we know. They seem to take turns requiring a lot of mommy time... Although the oldest seems to want to be the center of attention more consistently. He is constantly talking, asking questions, frequently the same question over and over rephrased. It seems as though it is easier for my husband to talk to him for extended periods of time just because the old man is more into engineering and physics than I am. And I hate math!

Of course my younger two are in diapers and they sleep in our room so they are problematic in their own special ways.



missboots
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 249
Location: Las Vegas, NV

30 Jul 2009, 12:04 pm

My son definitely requires less attention than the other children I've cared for (except for the other little autistic girl I use to watch), at the moment I babysit 4 other kids besides my son all of whom are way more clingy and crave interaction, where-as my son normally runs into the other room and plays on my laptop (he's 3.5). The only time he requires more attention is when he's having a meltdown and I need to separate him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or others. He does like interaction, but only in short intervals, it's no where near as much as the other kids.



racheypie666
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2016
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,382
Location: UK

16 Sep 2016, 5:49 pm

CleverKitten wrote:
I remember that as a child, I did not nearly demand as much attention from Mom as my NT brother did, and he demanded attention from me as well.
I actually was given more attention than I wanted, and desired solitude more than anything.


This is me and my brother; he was so loud and messy, I was always quiet and very happy to be alone. Mum tells a story of me making a cardboard friend when I was around 3 years old, and she thought it was sad and that I must be lonely. My brother was born the next year. What she doesn't understand is, I remember making that cardboard friend, and I wasn't making it because I was lonely, I was very happy in my own little world. I just needed extra bodies at my tea party, but I didn't want them to talk or bother me :lol: . Oh well, I got used to my brother in the end lol :wink:



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,890
Location: Maidstone, UK

22 Sep 2016, 8:24 am

I was very demanding on my parents, mostly my mum. I've always been very close to my mum, and I would spend hours chatting to her about life when I was as young as 6. Other times I was demanding, like deliberately avoiding doing things I knew how to do, just so that my mum will give in and do it for me. It was like an attention-seeking strategy.

My NT brother didn't demand much attention. He was 'the easy one' of us.


_________________
Female
Aged 29
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


ConceptuallyCurious
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2014
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 494

22 Sep 2016, 4:05 pm

Very much depends on the child. I've worked with aspie children who "demand" (I'd say require) constant attention/supervision. Also children who don't necessarily 'require' it for safety but will follow adults about and chatter endlessly. I've met others whose parents remark that they are 'easier' than their NT children because they can entertain themselves with their special interest for hours!


_________________
Diagnosed with:
Moderate Hearing Loss in 2002.
Autism Spectrum Disorder in August 2015.
ADHD diagnosed in July 2016

Also "probable" dyspraxia/DCD and dyslexia.

Plus a smattering of mental health problems that have now been mostly resolved.


climbergirl7
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 6 Sep 2016
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
Location: New Mexico

22 Sep 2016, 4:09 pm

My aspie son plays on his own for long periods of time and often is very content to play quietly near me without me having to play with or entertain him. My nt daughter is a drama queen who has to be the center of attention all the time. She is younger but my son was already playing alone at her age.



CWA
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 697

27 Sep 2016, 3:46 pm

Depends on the child. When my daughter (aspie) was YOUNG she required a lot of "Attention" because she was delayed and needed extra help with everything. Now that she is 9... you would hardly know we have a 9 year old living with us. She just wants to be left alone. Meanwhile my 6yo with ADHD is all up in my grill. Total facehugger. Needs attention 110% of the time and if you look away for 2 seconds to tend to something else, god help you.



SharkSandwich211
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 29 May 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 256

03 Oct 2016, 8:01 am

If my experience is used as a baseline then NO!! ! Both of my boys (oldest dx'ed and youngest showing signs of being on the spectrum as well) require way more attention than I thought ever humanly possible. What takes a normal child 5 minutes to do takes my kids 25. Bath, PJ's and teeth brushing for normal kid maybe 30 minutes, my kids, almost two hours. If they are awake, they have either my wife's or my attention. We call it "The Churn" Every day I wake up depleted, and go through the same things I went through yesterday and I go to bed even more depleted. Will the attention levels needed change as time goes on? I hope so. I can't imagine an AS child not requiring more attention than a "normal" during the younger years. As for the older years, I'll have to report back in about five years.



misstippy
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 190
Location: Georgia

14 Oct 2016, 8:34 am

Depends on the child and stage of development!!

I have two Aspies!! My first was a really fussy and demanding baby and toddler. Now, at 10 years old, he'd like to hang out in his room on his tablet indefinitely.... so, he's never in my face, but I am having to encourage him to do more stuff than hang out on his tablet (that's pretty normal for all kids his age, though).

My daughter was a super easy baby. She was less demanding as a toddler than her brother because she could stay focused on a play activity for a long time... he needed constant engagement. Now that she's 7, she wants to know where I am all the time... she will not go to playdates or birthday parties without me (well, she will now, but with a lot of coaxing and coaching) while other kids in her class will absolutely do these things independently.... etc.

Parenting is hard no matter what. Periods of difficulty have come in waves for my family. So, it's not like it's HARD all of the time, but we do have more periods of difficult times than it seems families with NT kids might have... Though, who knows... maybe I'm not really clued into their daily struggles.



DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,183
Location: Northern California

14 Oct 2016, 2:34 pm

As is already well noted, it depends on the child.

My ASD son was insanely demanding of my attention as an infant and young child. I don't know how much of that came from being a sensory seeker, but he would not let me put him down as an infant and his neediness sent multiple potential nannies home in tears after a single trial day. It wasn't until he was much older that I could do anything in his presence without him trying to divert my attention back to him; not shower, not work, NOTHING. I gave up and let us bathe together, among other adjustments. He was also an incredible amount of work throughout his school years, just keeping him on track with the things he needed to do and keeping him out of situations where he might melt down.

My NT daughter was incredibly easy as a baby. Or maybe it just seemed that way after the experience with my son. She would play by herself, stay where I put her, etc. She is challenging in other ways now.


_________________
Mom to an amazing AS son, who recently graduated from the university (plus an also amazing non-AS daughter). Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).