*rant* my son's therapist is a moron

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh!! !! !! !! !! !! !!

after all that we've been through, you think we'd catch a break. my son's therapist informed us that she no longer feels comfortable treating my son, as she feels that we could find someone that is more versed in spectrum issues.
all right...back up..........last week the therapist confronted my son with something she felt he did wrong and wanted an apology. ( she had no evidence, and the incident in question crossed some MAJOR personal boundaries that a therapist has no right to cross). son says he didn't do it. son walks out and this results in us calling the police to find him ( refer to post below ~ son ran away last night)............told son's school social worker about the therapist accusing son & she said that therapist was very unprofessional and "sounds like a set up to me". school social worker then says she'll call and talk to therapist...........fast forward to this week............we all walk into therapists office. she says "how have things gone since last week?"......all i'm thinking is OMG, the school social worker hasn't talked to her.i then explain to her what the school social worker said and the therapist goes ballistic ! !! she tells son she's not angry at him ( you can clearly tell she is), then she starts ranting about how it wasn't a set up and why is son not in trouble for what he did???? she also starts going on and on about how we always let him off the hook.............AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh!

ok, so where do you even begin with that load of crap??? first of all, i believe that a person is innocent until proven guilty...not guilty until proven innocent.........and as far as letting him off the hook, i certainly don't tell her every little minute detail of things son gets in trouble for~ after all , isn't she there to help us with things we don't understand? i understand how to discipline my child...i went to school for many years to get my education degree, and am a well-respected teacher....WTF!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

I don't have much helpful to say, except that demanding an apology from even a 14-year-old person who actually DID do something wrong is 99% gauranteed to piss them off. Unless part of their treatment plan is for him to learn to apologize, that was monumentally stupid, IMO.

Sounds like another fine graduate of the Bob Marley School of Medicine. Time to move on.

And I know the feeling, sometimes I think I couldn't catch a break with a net.

Good move supporting your son. My folks would have taken the therapist's side.

I would definity get a new doctor, she probably doesnt know how to talk and react to a person with AS, and your son is the most important person here and he has to be able to trust and feel secure with this person and she lost that last week.

I have gone through many doctors...either ones that dont really get anything off the ground or the ones like not knowing how aspies really are and causing more of injustice towards him and me.

Like the other post said doc's a moron.....

(((hugs))) to you I know its fustrating.......

thank you all for your support ! i've calmed down some, but am still quite irritated...i've started the search for a new therapist and have a few names that i'm going to try and call.

ster, you need to start following your mother's intuition. And it sounds like your intuition told you a long time ago this therapist wasn't good for your son. I was sent to many therapists as a child. I would tell my parents, "This person [the therapist] is an evil person. They're not going to help me." Of course my calling the therapist evil and unhelpful was just further proof of how much I needed therapy . You need to cut ties with this therapist yesterday. They sound like a toxic personality and definitely no help to your son.

I grew up in NH btw. What state are you in (if I may ask)?

i grew up in quite a dysfunctional family with lots of abuse.....listening to my intuition is something i'm still trying to figure out
at any rate, we live in ct, but have relatives in mass and nh. i'm hoping to make the switch to both a new psychiatrist and therapist all at once ...hopefully i can blame this change on the insurance company~ son's ego is so fragile, i don't think he could accept the fact that therapist is an evil b****....he wants to believe that she is a good person~ and she had been wonderful to us for quite awhile...my best friend says it sounds like she's bipolar and off her meds

the evil therapist is not associated with the school he goes to, nor was she associated with his previous school. son has a social worker at school who, so far, seems somewhat normal. i've left a message for her asking about whether or not she had any suggestions....i'm making more phone calls today, hopefully i'll find someone.

i've gotten 2 phone calls back from therapists~ one says that she can put me on the waiting list~ the other says she can meet with son next monday......not sure if the one who can meet with son is prepared to deal with aspergers~ so many therapists, i've found out, have absolutely NO CLUE about aspergers. cross my fingers that it will go well.

Hang in there - good therapists are out there. If it hadn't been for my son's private psychologist we never would have had the ASD dx. He was bullied so badly in 3rd grade that he ended up clinically depressed. The school social worker tested him (finally, after much effort on our part) and called to tell us to get him to a psychologist NOW. It was the best thing we ever did for him.

After a few sessions (luckily the depression was due to environmental issues like bullying), the psych asked us to consider Asperger's.

We have since moved, and found a psychiatrist and psychologist that are very sensitive to ASD and all the other potential co-morbids. I timidly suggested dietary changes to the psychologist and turns out she not only endorsed it, but used it for her own son when he was younger and thought it was a good idea (sheez - most docs generally hit the meds first or so I thought). Then, with all the troubles at the local PS and our recent decision to homeschool she invited us to join her son and daughter-in-laws homeschool group.

Finding a good therapist is particularly difficult with our children since they do form attachments quickly and have rigid rules about how people are supposed to behave (my son was floored when I blurted out that I thought his gym teacher was a bully), but a good therapist can make a huge difference. My son loves Dr. Lyn - she speaks Harry Potter and Narnia. He wants to go every week and she is his best friend. She also works with us and has been a huge help on tips/ideas for helping him begin to see the world from our side.

well, as it turns out the therapist that called me back for an appt monday had no clue about aspergers....she even admitted that as soon as she got off the phone with me, she had to look it up in the DSM oh well, at least she was honest in saying that she didn't feel comfortable treating my son.got a phone call back from another therapist however, and have an appt with her for next weds. she's experienced with spectrum disorders and does social skills groups. keep my fingers crossed that this one will take son.

That one sounds great social skill classes I'm still trying to find one that is close enough for ds. Fingers are crossed here for you. Good Luck.

thanks! school social worker also came up with a therapist's name & i sgoing to check and see if he has any openings....a male therapist would be GREAT! (i hope)

Good luck, but the female who also teaches social skills classes may be really good too. Do you have any parent support groups where you live for parents of kids with Asperger's? They might have lots of experience with child therapists and might be able to give you some insight.

My daughter's therapist discontinued seeing her as well, but in retrospect, we should have fired him a long time ago. Her new therapist is more supportive. We have to drive further to see her, but it is worth it. Where we live, there are not that many therapists who see children who are very familiar with ASD.