Court date tomarrow for my son.

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Will pray that everything went alright. /me hugs Beebeee.

So very sorry to hear about this unfortunate incident. Hope all went well. Will remember you both in my prayers. Pink

Thank you all for your support. It means more to me then you can ever know.

D had his day in court. It started at 7:30 AM and we got home about 3:00 PM. It was a v e r y long day indeed.

Most of the kids there had public defenders. I'm sure they mean well and do their best but it seemed like they were meeting thier clients for the first time as they went before the judge. Thier jobs (the public defenders) seemed to be more of explaining where to sign, what door to go though, etc then actually advocating for the child. I consider us fortunity that we could afford an attorney but saddened that those who couldn't didn't seem to recieve real justice. Although it took us all day, their time in court was short, just long enough to plead guilty and sent to a parole officer or to juvie hall.

D's attorney is well known in the julivile hall. Before we had even gotten there, he had arragined for D for to be fingerprinted only after the case. This was a blessing.

Then the attorney he had closed door meetings with first the procuting attorney, then the judge, then both. Who knows what happened there. Maybe he advocated for David...maybe they all had coffee. Anyway, the attorney presented us a plea bargin to consider: If David would agree to plead guilty the three charges of 3rd degree falony assult (against teacher, pricipal, and officer) would be dropped to two chagres (teacher and principal) of 5th degree gross mistamendor assult. The "standard" punishment for 5th degree assult is two months of weekends in jail for each charge, restatution and being assingned a PO officer for six months. Because his was his first time there, and because he was seeing mental health professional this was the deal: D will have a PO officer for three months...this officer will make sure he makes resituation, follows the advice of all mental health professionals, and not get in trouble again. The time in jail will be waived if he isnt charged with any other crimes for the PO period. Unless his PO officer notes problems, these charges will then be expunged from his records if all goes well...ie they will be erased.

It is acceptable and we decided to accept. Since 5th degree isn't considered voilent enough there was no fingerprinting.

His father wanted to push and try to get the charges completely dropped but the attoney told him that was iffy and this gets the same thing done in three months anyway. His father kept insisiting the principal and cop should be on trial, not D. He has a point but this wasn't the time or place for it. He almost agued his way out of the agreement.

So then we waited to be assinged a PO officer. Luck, or prayer, was again on our side. Due to a outbreak of flu in the PO office, the intake person wasn't a PO officer, as is normal. They had borrowed a therapist who is responsible for the county's "wrap around" service for EBD or mentally ill children to do intital interviews. This person decided which officer would be assigned and their level of involvement. She and David hit it right off. She started very strict and warned David that it would go best with him if he were totally honest with her...but his honest anwsers had her laughing. For example, she asked if he had ever had alchol. He said yes which shocked his father and I. She got her pen ready to write and asked for details...he confussed that he had tried the wine at church communion once. She said that was an okay use and he insisted it wasn't as it really tasted horrible, that he wished he had never tried it. When asked about smoking, she got a lecture on what that does to lungs....In other words, I don't think his interview quite went as most of them do. Her recommendation, which was accepted by the office manger, was that D NOT get a PO officer. He will, however still have to make restatution...in this case letters to his teacher and the principal saying he is sorry. The letters must be sent to that office which will then forward them on.

So all in all, it went better than I could ever have hoped for.

D's father is afaid the school will try to provoke D and get him charged again. I don't think the school is evil, just careless. I consider it highly unlikely D will get in trouble again. I am, though, giving serious thought to homeschooling for the next three months. : (

And Louis wasn't kidding. An illegal alien really did live in the high school for a couple of months before be was found. My ex- picked this area because of its toney reputation. Initally I didn't like the area because of the things Louis hinted at. But its been years and I've gotten used to them...don't even think about it until a neighbor makes a stupid remark. Maybe I need to move.

Again, thank you for your support.

BeeBee

Although I still find myself feeling disgusted and astounded at the lack of sensitivity and common sense when it comes to dealing with a special needs child, I don't think it could have gone any better given the situation you had to face. I'm so proud of D for holding it together and his answers during his PO interview were so sweet. Gotta love that all out honesty that our kids have. Yanno, I really don't think homeschooling for the next 3 mos is such a bad idea given that the school is so unpredictable. Good luck Bee. Sending you tons of hugs. xxoo

i'm so thrilled to hear that things went so well! hooray for you and D!

Yeah, glad you managed to get a 'lesser evil' out of this. Obviously we don't have the same legal system - I find the whole thing extraordinary.

Like Ds dad, I would definitely expect further provocation from the school.

BeeBee, thank you for posting. I am glad it went as well as it did, even though I am sorry the whole situation ever happened at all. D's dad had a good point that the principal was the one who should have been on trial, but like you said, that was not the time or place to discuss it. I think you did the right thing accepting the plea bargain.

I can see why you are considering homeschooling, at least for three months. I considered it too after my daughter's special education teacher abused her, but we were able to get her moved to another school and so far it has worked out reasonably well. How could you do homeschooling since you work full-time? How independent is D with doing homework?

beebee, i'm so pleased and relieved for you and D. and i still want to poke your ex in the eye - isn't there enough to deal with, without him stirring up more trouble with his ego needs? grrrrrr.

massive hugs to you and D. and treat yourself to something wonderful - you bloody well deserve it.

I agree - it was a disgusting way for a school to treat a young autistic child but I'm glad that you got the best result that could have reasonably been expected.

I am glad to hear things went as well as they could have, given the circumstances. I still think there needs to be training in D's school before he is allowed to return, so that he isn't provoked again - accidentally or otherwise. My husband and I don't often see eye to eye on the AS stuff, but he agrees with me on this one that this sooo wasn't your son's fault.

I hope that homeschooling is a viable option for you guys. I think if it was my child, until there was some training done, I'd feel a little righteously paranoid.

Good luck!

A certain degree of paranoia is perfectly healthy.

I do not think that the school staff will provoke D on purpose. Most people have an aversion to being injured and I think they got a lesson.

With that said, I think there is a gulf of animosity between both parties however that probably cannot be bridged. At least in your state of residence BeeBee, you can easily change what school D attends and as long as the new school is within the district, they must provide transportation to the new school (although the transportation department has legal ways to make parents give up and transport their own children). I would suggest though that you have it put in the IEP that any staff members who will be dealing with D will be required to have had training concerning ASDs and SIDs within the past year. This would include the administrators and any "school liason officer". I think that would put the school district on notice that you are holding them as responsible for their actions as they hold D.

I do not think they will deliberately provoke D, but if the principal is so clueless that he asked a policeman to "escort" D to class, when his Behavior Support Plan says he can wait in the office until he feels ready to return to class himself and a policeman in a school is so clueless as to put his hands on D to "escort" him to class, then I think his dad has a valid concern.

Is changing schools a viable option for you and D, BeeBee? If not, then homeschooling D at least for the next three months might be an excellent idea if you can do it.

I'm so happy that things went well in court for you and David. It's hard being a single parent, especially when the ex doesn't see things the same way you do. I would watch the school closely. They aren't always ethical and I don't believe they are beyond doing something to "eliminate a problem student". Good luck and take care. Pink

ljbouchard~great idea....requiring training ,that is.

Ster,

It has to be put in the IEP however so that you have something that is legally binding. Otherwise, the district will say that they will do it and then they don't do it and the parent has no recourse when something goes wrong yet again.

The Autism Society here in MN is starting a lobbying effort to require a special license for teachers who deal with children with ASDs. I do not expect their efforts to go far but I think it will bring the training issue to the forefront where it needs to be.