Have a meeting with the school Tues and nervous (canada)

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Hi all, sorry I've not kept up with the forums much.

update is my daughter's doctor wrote a preliminary diagnosis of aspergers and social anxiety for her, and she's due to get the full testing (whatever that entails) sometime in November. Evidently in Ontario, there's a year waiting list to have this done!!

Anyhow, with the letter, the school was willing to start the official process of making an IED for her. In two days comes some sort of meeting wherein they "determine" whether she'll be classified as "exceptional" and I'm still not sure what all this entails. The packet they sent home comes across as very formalized and is full of legal rubric and basically gave me the impression of "you have the right to attent and make input, but we're going to decide anyway whether you like it or not." I'm trying very hard not to feel defensive in the face of this sort of language, because it almost seems as though they're more concerned with covering themselves legally rather than focusing on the actual student.


So anyway that's part one- the meeting up coming. I also wanted to know from any parents how they helped their kids with sensory issues at school. My daughter, when she's starting to get upset, becomes highly sensitive to sound, even when it isn't very loud. It seems that it contributes to her meltdowns, but she doesn't want to try earplugs or wear headphones because she says the kids will "look at her" She seems to be having a harder time at school this year than any other, with a lot more anxiety and issues with other kids, and having a lot less control over her emotional reactions to them basically not doing what *she* wants them to do.

I've suggested breathing techniques to sort of center her in order to avoid outbursts (she said she's going to try that one), going to the bathroom to wash her face (she refuses), or asking to go to the office when things seem too much. WHat sort of practical techniques if any has anyone used in the past as either someone with AS or a parent of an AS child in order to just get through the day?


Thanks

I'm pretty low on time at the moment but your question about sound sensitivity caught my eye. I think that is one for which what I call the "escape clause" would be a good solution. Basically, everyone agrees on a safe and quiet place that she may go anytime, without permission, if she feels too much stress from sound or any other reason. Kids can learn a lot of self regulation through the process of identifying when they need to escape, and taking action on it. At first, they may need to use it spur of the moment; overtime, they get better at seeing the need build and will be able to let the teacher know they feel they are going to need it.

Our elementary school had anti-rooms attached to the classroom groups and that was the perfect place. In middle school, his IEP allows him to go to the resource room, but he has never done that. Some of his teachers will suggest he go immediately outside the classroom door.

Hi MsLeeLoo, I'm in Canada as well (Winnipeg). I don't have experience with an IEP (what they're called here) as I had to pull my son out of Grade 1 last year because of issues with his school. However, we've been looking for the right school for him so I do have some ideas in terms of sensory accommodations.

In terms of noise, would your daugher be willing to wear an IPod? They are a lot cooler than the massive noise cancelling earphones, and her school absolutely should allow it as long as the music she's listening to is either calming, nature, or white noise etc. Has she tried earplugs? They are practically invisible these days, you may want to show a pair to her incase she's ok with them.

You should ensure the IEP provides for a quiet place she can retreat to when she's overwhelmed.

If it's a good school, you should have a positive IEP experience, despite the legalistic approach in their paperwork. I would go in with an open mind, and assume they want to help until or unless they prove otherwise. If they do prove otherwise and you cannot work with them on an adequate IEP, you may want to consider a different school if your daughter has a lot of years left.

There is an excellent resource called the Sensory Accommodations Checklist developed by my friend and fellow autism blogger Hartley Steiner. It can be printed off, filled in, and brought with you to your IEP meeting to clearly outline your expectations. You can find it at http://www.hartleysboys.com/p/sensory-a ... ns_23.html

Hope that helps

Thanks guys, yes IEP IEP!

I'll keep in mind the suggestions when it comes to this, especially there being a "safe place" where she can go and have it be quiet. I think what I'm afraid of most is that we make these agreements and they'll work well for a while, but I also worry about whether or not my daughter will use them only as needed or will use her AS as a reason to, say, listen to her Ipod in class when no one else can, or can walk out of the room though no one else is allowed to. The question eventually becomes when does accommodation end and making excuses begin in terms of behavior? The other day she said something to the effect of "Well I do x because I have hamburgers!" (that's what she calls it, it's funny as heck, too) in relation to acting out because she was frustrated. I don't want her to think it's ok to be destructive or act agressively with others and then somehow try to blame it on this-- because I just don't think they're related at all and she *does* have choices in expression.

She's just turned nine, by the way, if that puts anything in perspective. This year has been pretty tough and challenging. She cries or has a meltdown at school about once a week, and this wasn't very common in previous years.

Yay! thanks again for all the advice, I went in this morning and just came right out and said the wording of the info packet on this meeting came across as pretty cold and legalistic, and they really got it right away and reassured me that it was just formal stuff. So far she's staying in mainstream classes (which I figured of course), and we'll be working on some auditory issues and some items related to group work and on tolerating other kids in class (ironically the kids she likes the most outside of class are the ones who bother her the most *in* class)