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ambarnes
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

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Joined: 29 Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 2

31 Jan 2011, 1:16 pm

Hello,
I am brand new here and am just looking for some people who understand what a day in my life is like. I have three beautiful children. My oldest is a girl. She is 11 years old and has a dx of HF Autism. My middle child is a boy aged 9 and I also have a 5 year old daughter. My 11 year old was diagnosed with cancer (neuroblastoma) at the age of 3. She has been cancer free since 2003 and completed all cancer related treatment in 2005. Of course, during that time the only thing that we were focused on was her health. Some of the signs of autism passed us by because we attributed much of what we were seeing to the fact that she was such a sick child. She officially was dx with Autism this past spring but we have known that she was AU since right after cancer treatment was over.

I honestly feel like I have been sitting back for the longest time just waiting on something to be easy for her. She has so many strengths and I am blessed that she survived cancer but there are also so many struggles. She has very few friends, she lacks self care skills, she struggles in school even though she is extremly bright. I am sure all of you here know exactly what I mean by these things.

I want to help her but I feel so clueless. Sometimes when she is having a tantrum I look at her and I know that she would definitely not be acting that way if she could control it. She goes from hot to cold in a flash and it is so hard to know what is going to set her off. Puberty makes this even more difficult.

I am just looking for support from people who understand. I hope that I can find that here. I am also going to get her involved with Kids Crater so that perhaps she can find some kids (especially girls) with similar interests to interact with.

Thanks for "listening" and I look forward to hearing from some of you.

Allison



ItsBridget
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

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Joined: 18 Dec 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 19

31 Jan 2011, 1:32 pm

Welcome. My ten year old son and myself both have an Asperger's Dx. My now 20 year old daughter had a pre-natal stroke. The years after were full of constant intensive therapy, surgery, and seizures. I know how it is when you are focused on the life or death issues. Hope this is a spot where you can find some support and info. :)



bookworm285
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 27 Dec 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 160

31 Jan 2011, 1:59 pm

I can't imagine going through the cancer scare, and all that included, but I'm glad to hear that part is over.

I'm ASD/Asperger's and so are both of my children. They're grown now, 18 and 21, and I promise it gets easier!

My daughter still has "fits" at 18, although they are milder and fewer in between. I think they are sensory related. I home schooled her until she turned 11. We put her in public school and held her back a year at the school's suggestion. (1. her immaturity 2. all the kids in 5th grade were in "cliques" they wanted to start her in 4th where everyone started the middle school, for a fresh start. She is also gifted.

She has tons of friends, and is well-accepted in school.

On the other hand, my son, 21, never returned to public school. His only friends and social life are online. That's ok too.



AS_mom
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 1 Dec 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 139
Location: Kelowna, Canada

01 Feb 2011, 1:04 am

Welcome!

I have AS as does my son 13 and my daughter is dyslexic with other anixety disorders may even be AS not sure at the moment. It is tough at times, also being a single mom, but just try to gain as much understanding as you can of how your kids especially your daughter is processing something and what else can affect her.

I wish you luck on your journey. There's lots of advice here for any of your concerns. :)



liloleme
Veteran
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Joined: 8 Jun 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,922
Location: France

01 Feb 2011, 7:17 am

Welcome to WP!

I have Asperger's and an auto immune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis (also known as AS). I have a mixed bag with my five kids. My youngest, who I refer to as the Autistic Princess (she has several videos on youtube), is nearly six. She was diagnosed with classic/Kanner Autism at age two and a half. My 8 year old son has Asperger's, My 18 year old daughter has Asperger's and has had a rough year and currently being treated for a possible coexisting mental illness, My 20 year old daughter is my only NT but has some learning disabilities, she is an amazing girl and a hard worker but she has had to grow up with a lot of problems with her siblings and her own Fathers mental illness and my AS (I was divorced and my two youngest are from my current marriage). I also have a 24 year old son who has very serious problems. He had very early onset Bi Polar disorder and we believe he also has Asperger's/Autism. He is a drug addict and has spent a lot of time in jail/prison and has recently been DX with Hep C. He is currently trying to sort out his life. I think the Hep C has scared him and made him more aware of his own mortality. We are supporting him but not to the extent of being his enablers. I always hold hope that he will be better.
Wow, didnt mean to blurt out my whole life story but there you go. I have learned a lot from my kids and I think due to all our problems and struggles I am a better person and a better Mom. I think part of my ability to empathize with people is due to all of the life experiences I have had. As that odd saying goes: Whatever does not kill us can only make us stronger.
This is a good place to find other parents who have Autistic kids and some who are Autistic themselves. The Majority of people here take a more positive and helpful approach to dealing with our kids. As Im sure you know after going though Cancer with your child that Autism is not the end of the world. Hope you stick around :)