Help! 8 yr old girl with AS symptoms?
Okay, my daughter is 8 years old and was recently (January) diagnosed with ADHD. Now that we are getting some of the impulsiveness under control, we are finding a lot of other (Hmmm...) "symptoms" that we just never really put together before. Her neurologist thinks that she may have Asperger's Syndrome and I am FULL of questions. My daughter does not fit a lot of the "sterotypical" characteristics---I am learning that these are just that----stereotypes. Can anyone help me understand? I am back and forth on this. She is such an amazing child. VERY talented and VERY smart! She almost seems like she is an extrovert personality rather than an introvert...is that possible with AS?
She does have some obsessive interests, but they were always easy to overlook...very 'typical' such as my little ponies, littlest pet shops, spongebob...but now it is an anime cat named splash, and, well, cats in general. She is a very talented artist for her age...I have seen crowds gather to watch her draw. She was having a lot of tantrums at school this year. One of the biggest things she complains about is "__________ is staring at me" whether they are or not and :it's not fair". She loves to make jokes...generally word play. She doesn't really have a lot of sensory issues...never liked toys that make noise though (or balloons popping). She is okay with schedule changes, but sometimes does not transition well. I need some comparisons. HELP!
Well, we are all different people with different issues, talents, and personalities. Being introverted or extroverted has nothing to do with AS; many extroverted Aspies appear as if they are introverts only because they've been rejected by peers. And symptoms can be a range of anything from debilitatingly severe, to so minor that they are almost unnoticeable. Many ordinary people find that they seem to have "a touch of AS". Your description of your daughter sounds like she's on the mild side of things, if she has it at all.
Aspergers is treated "symptomatically", which means you deal with each symptom as it comes up, rather than treating Aspergers as a whole. The main thing, as with any child, is to support their efforts and interests while helping them with any deficits or problems. As you spend more time reading, you will notice that our symptoms are only general trends, and practically no one has each and every symptom described. Your daughter needs her parents' unconditional love and acceptance, no matter where she is on the spectrum. More of our problems come from feeling rejected or stigmatized than anything else.
Oh, the one thing that my daughter has is her parent's unconditional love. I am trying to understand how to help her. She is so very social, almost as if she tries too hard. I have heard so much about a monotonous voice and such, but she is VERY emotional. I go on the 14th for a screening. My concern is that it is mostly just questioning the parents to come up with a diagnosis. I don't want to unknowingly say she does something or doesn't do something because I have a false perception of what that is. I wonder sometimes if her social awkwardness comes from me. I've never been too great at social boundaries or making friends and I always seem to be a little OCD about odd things. Maybe she has just picked up on my mannerisms.
I am having MAJOR difficulties with the school right now and the worst part is I am a special education teacher and work for the school system. I am taking a graduate class on autism this summer so I am doing some reading, but I also consider myself lucky to have found this site because it is great to ask questions. Thank you for the response and please keep the responses coming. I have a SAT meeting with the school tomorrow...any advice welcome!
The important thing is that you accept your daughter. I've craved acceptance the entire time that I was growing up and raised, but I never felt that I got that acceptance. Especially from my mum. My mum tried to turn me against my special interests and she tried to treat me the same way that she treated my sister. Like a typical girl. She ended up with Mick Avory as a firstborn daughter and I spend 70% of my time that I could be working more than 2 hours a day, listening to The Kinks. My mum got the opposite of what she set up her expectations up to what she thought I should strive for.
That's the reason that you should accept your daughter's personality and special interests, as you work on her problem areas.
Something to keep in mind, if you don't want your daughter to grow up like me. I have no problem with myself. I have all the acceptance for myself in the world, that I never received in my childhood home. I hope that you do the right thing.
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I would like to add that if she has AS or not, I definately feel that she is the same kid I know and love. Calling it something does not change who she is. Whatever this is that she has, she has many talents because of it. She is very advanced in the area of art for a child her age because she is so detail oriented. She is also very computer oriented, so we bought her a laptop so she can develop her skills in both areas. I want to focus on her strengths and develop them...she has above average intellegence as well. I want to find a way to TRUELY help her with her weaknesses.
When she melts down, the school TIMES her...that is their way of 'helping'. Grrr.. I am so frustrated with them. I really feel that if my daughter has this, it is a mild case and could be a disability if I choose to spin it that way, but I DON"T! I really just wish the school could help me focus on her strengths. She is so talented.
Are there any Aspies out there who can give me examples of things that have helped them? She goes to therapy for one hour every other week and that helps---she enjoys it. But what else is there? Do any of you have experiece with Functional Communication Training?
Many of the things you have described also fit the description for inattentive ADHD. Not a dx, just another possiblity to look into.
My daughter is dx'd both AS and ADHD. What you describe sounds very familiar. My daughter is also very outgoing and friendly and that was stated as a reason why her school didn't feel she was on the spectrum. Well, three doctors disagreed with that 'introverted' stereotype.
Actually it sounds like we should get our girls together - they sound like they have alot of the same interests!
(In fact, your daughter sounds EXACTLY like me as a kid, especially with the art!)
She has a DX of ADHD Combined type. I am waiting on the results of her psychoeducational eval...the evaluator said that there is no doubt she is "gifted" and that she is at a 7th and 8th grade level in many areas on the achievement test. She said that part of the problem is that she is bored and that her educational needs are not being met...again the school disagrees. The therapist says that they "can't see the forest for the trees."
Wish we could get our kids together. : ) I want her to have friends...that is something that I never really did as a child. I had a few, but nobody I was close to, it was more just varying levels of tolerance I guess LOL.
Does she have an IEP or a 504? If a district psychoeducational eval defines her areas of giftedness that too can be addressed in her IEP. Her boredom could very well be contributing to the tantrums. Most schools have a gifted program.
Either way - you can circumvent the school in the broader, immediate sense. If her teacher agrees that she needs more of a challenge, you and the teacher can sit down and devise more indepth projects for her. We do alot of 'enrichment' at home although they are really just fun family trips. We usually buy a membership to an institution each year; the zoo, the aquarium, museum of natural sciences, drive thru safari, etc... I find that we are much more apt to make those visits with passes in hand. Family passes are usually $100 or so and include guest passes which is further encouragement to go more often.
She has a 504. We also do a lot of enrichment, but she is in 2nd grade and the psychologist says she is at a 7th and 8th grade level in some areas. The teacher says that she MUST look at the board and pay attention to everything...to me, if she is not causing a disturbance, she is doing ok...it's not that big of a deal. At this point the teacher is trying to "win a battle" I'm just trying to make it through the year. Hopefully with a better teacher next year (the current one snapped a pencil in half because my daughter was playing with it). Wishing I could homeschool.
That is extremely disturbing... I'd be concerned about a teacher with those kinds of stress control issues too.
Home enrichment outside the classroom and petition the school now, before the end of the year, for class placement next year. You can request a meeting with her support staff too and get their input on which teacher they feel would be a good match for your daughters challenges. Have you had the psychoeducational evaluation? That could help you quite a bit in getting these needs met. Also, a pediatric psychologist experienced in autism would have a better handle on a complete dx for your daughter - they see the variations in autism much more clearly than generalists do. If your daughter is AS (and girls are frequently misdiagnosed or under diagnosed) the sooner you can get an IEP and interventions in place the better. If she needs that support, its beneficial to get it as early as possible.
I hate to put it this way but welcome to the battlefield!
No, I've realized for a while that it is a battlefield. I have an advocate from Legal Aid who also attends meetings with us. It has been a stressful year. She has had a psychoeducational evaluation (the results are being faxed). I have requested testing from the school three times now since January with no results, so I had it done on my own.
The other day she could not get her books in her desk and began to cry, so instead of helping her put her books in her desk, they timed her...she was crying for 5 minutes.
I would like to know more about Functional Communication Training. So frustrating!
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