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JHenn
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03 Nov 2011, 7:23 am

Hi again everyone,

A few days ago my 6 year old son and his dad were watching tv. My son suddenly said "can you please leave?" and my fiancee said "why?" My son said "Because I need to make those sounds you don't like" (Referring to the shooting/bomb/cartoony noises he makes sometimes when he's getting REALLY into what he's watching. We usually ask him to stop because it gets really annoying for everyone else) My fiancee was so impressed that he asked for privacy instead of just doing it that he said "Sure, I'll go in the other room for a little while. Let me know when you want me to come back"

Now, please correct me if I'm wrong but this is a good thing right? I feel like it's huge that my son was able to control his urge to stim long enough to ask to be alone. I know his school would love to cut all stimming out entirely but I don't see why he can't have a time and place for it. Maybe we could set aside an hour every day where he could have time to himself to make whatever obnoxious sounds he wants to make, flap, slap his thighs, etc. Maybe knowing he gets to have that time every day will help him control his stims better in public and be something to look forward to. I mean don't we all have certain little things we enjoy doing and wait to be alone for?

What do you guys think? Is this a big step for him or am I completely over thinking this?



Marcia
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03 Nov 2011, 8:34 am

Yes, I think you're right that this is a big step - it shows an awareness of himself and his needs, and also an awareness of other people and how they are affected by his behaviour. Next big step might be that he leaves the room instead of asking other people to go out. ;) But in the meantime, yes, well done him! :D



cutiecrystalmom
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03 Nov 2011, 9:23 am

My son has the same level of awareness, and it started right around age 6 too. He's nine now. My one word of caution is that while he is asking for privacy, try to not to let him "expect" privacy, as our son did (and now does) - which leads to a lot of screaming at his sister when she won't leave the room. We did end up making him a "jumping" place in our garage, we flick the lights on and off if we are going to come in so he has some warning. He is quite adamant that he is not seen while he is engaging in his jumping.

The hand flapping at the computer though, or if something fun is on tv, he just can't help himself sometimes, and we will gently point it out, but it is never to tell him to stop. Just helping him be aware of when he is doing it.

cutiecrystalmom



Ilka
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03 Nov 2011, 8:41 pm

Yes, I think this is a BIG step. When our daughter was finally able to identify her needs to stim, she was pretty close to stop doing it. I do agree with Marcia about the fact that he should get his privacy, not expect others to give him space. That way he will be able to find his own time out himself when he needs it. Please just try to keep your expectations in check. This does ot need he will be able to control his stims better in public. He will probably still not be able to control his urges in certain situations, and maybe he wll never be, but this is def a great step!