Mother socialising with Teenage son. Social predudice?

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At what age is it appropriate for a to stop socailising with your teenager ( if any)

I only ask becuase people often think it's very weird that I go with my son to the cinema, to gigs, events, etc etc and that we go on holidays alone together ( I am a single parent). They don't know that he is aspie and has difficulty socialising, and he likes to keep it under wraps and I respect his wishes.

When we do go to events where we know noone I have started saying he is my brother ( he looks much older and I look much younger ) and this seems to stop the problem.

However, I don't understand why it is such a social taboo and frowned on by people. Mother's can go out with daughters as friends, fathers with their sons, and mums with their gay sons, but not this way.

Anyone else have this problem?

I socialize with my teens. When my oldest son was still at home I used to hang out with him all the time. I'd go places with him, I was invited to parties that he had or went to, etc. I have always been included in their group as much as I wanted to be, and so has my husband to a certain extent. Then again, I was also always the mom that their friends came and talked to about problems when they couldn't talk to them about their own parents, and our home was always a safe place for kids who felt that they had to run away, or were kicked out. We were considered the "cool parents" but not overly cool as in completely permissive - we do say no to some things.

I never "hung out" with other teenagers when I was one. Mostly becuase there weren't any around and if there was, they would probably be jail bait and make fun of me for my obsessions. I was one of those kids Temple Grandin talks about that needed to skip adolecence and go straight into adulthood.

My first response is that you are establishing a bond and dependence that he will have his entire life. Rather than spend all that time together, maybe work together on finding the resources and support for him to learn to interact with his peers or seek out other Aspies his age. He deserves a chance to develop beyond habits that can have him isolated and lonely the rest of his life.

He has friends at school he socialises with, but he never wants to see them outside of school and I don't like to force the issue. I am an aspie too and I certainly don't want him to be dependant on me, and I would hate to think I am holding him back from his potential. We do share similar interests though and that's why I don't understand the social predudice as I mentioned before mums and daugthers have no problem when out together. He is not at a stage yet where he can talk to strangers comfortably and his emotional/ social maturity is that of someone younger too. I think that would be a great idea if I could find aspie's his own age though. Whether he will be sold on the issue is a different matter.

My son would never introduce me to his school friends. He likes to keep school and homelife seperate which is a shame really so I really need to find him some friends outta school.

This is similar for my son. At least I appreciate his obsessions and enjoy them myself.

I was just talking about something similar yesterday. My sons and I are into some similar interests, and lately I have been running dungeons and dragons for them and their friends. This is apparently considered extremely unusual for a mom to do, but if I had a daughter and was running "spa nights" with her and her friends where we all painted each others toe nails, or did other "girly" things together that would not be considered odd at all. Or if I was a dad gaming with my sons that would be OK too. I think it is one of those random, unfair societal things rooted in sexism. A mom isn't supposed to have anything to offer her teenage son beyond picking up after him and cooking for him. If they enjoy each other's company and have similar interests the son risks being labelled as a "momma's boy", and the mom is somehow smothering her boy or taking an unhealthy interest.

I dont see anyting wrong, but I think teaching him a bit of balance would be helpful. How about 1x a week he hangs out with a school freind. It would be a great skill to work on, rather then him only having you to hang with! OR maybe inviting a freind to an activity that you and him are doing together. Just an idea

I've ran into that issue when I've gone out drinking with my dad.....obviously I'm younger he's older and instead of people first assuming 'oh look father and daughter coming in to have a couple beers.' they assume other things which is ridiculous so that is usually when we will just say I'm the daughter and he's the dad. Though I would think it kind of obvious since as far as I'm concerned we do look rather related.

my daughter, 14, is starting to realize that mom isn't supposed to go with you to the movies. Once I went with her but she had me sit somewhere else. So last time I said I wasn't going to take her to the movies if i had to sit somewhere else. LOL....but for the most part, we are really close (or at least, she talks to me a lot about her life). It's difficult because I know she has made better friends this year and seems a bit more capable of keeping friends than before, but she still doesn't do much socializing outside of school. Though this year she went to her first non-church friend events...one movie with a friend...such a big deal for her..and one lock-in where she spent the night at the Y with the same friend. I do still force church youth events and she generally has a good time when she goes...but she won't go if I don't kind of insist on it. But yeah, she is very talkative/social with me.

Bethanie

My son and I were very close. When he was well and he wasnt using we did everything together, we went to movies, wed go to the mall....someone at the gas station where we would go and get our junk food to stuff into my gigantic purse for the movies actually thought we were dating . Made me feel good, wow, I look that young?

Anyway, I lost my son on August 14th so I say screw other people and enjoy the time you have with your son!

So sorry to hear that .

Thanks for the advice to you and everyone else. Some interesting comments.

I love my son, and whilst he initiates the contact I shall continue to be there for him me thinks. As long as he is happy I am sure he will find his own way/ friends in the world in a few years when he is ready but I will try and promote the idea of aspie friends of a sililar age to him too so he has balance.

I still largely socialise with my mum and I am coming up to my mid-twenties - we go on holidays together and so on. To be honest, I rarely go anywhere without her. I don't like this dependence but I don't know how to go about loosening this bond as I don't know anyone else to socialise with. I feel rather dependent on her.

I have to say that I'm from a close knit family so that may prejudice what I say, but I don't have a problem with it as long as he can function otherwise. I'm also a single mom. I have a 14yo who I socialize with to an extent since we are both homebodies. We do a lot together but I am careful to have some things that are separate. For instance I work in the theater as a props mistress. He occasionally comes with me but it is separate. He has fencing and krav maga that he does with the people there. I have contacts for those in charge if need be, but that's his own thing.