Unable to perform simple tasks

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I know this is one of the problems autistic children have. This summer we have been trying to teach Caleb (7 yo) how to tie his shoes, ride a bike etc, - to no avail. My wife and I feel that neither we nor the school system are doing enough to help Caleb- seems to have a focus problem. My wife and myself have a background in psychiatry, we do not want him put on meds. Just wondering- what can we do to help Caleb? What kind of therapy would help? Are we approaching the lessons in the wrong way? Please help!
Paul

Are you sure it's a focus problem and not a motor skills problem?

My son is 10 and just learned to tie his shoes and he is still trying to learn to ride a bike. He has motor planning issues, fine motor issues, occular-motor issues, and vestibular/proprioceptive issues. He also has ADHD and lacks focus, but this is unrelated to his difficulty with bike riding and shoe-tying. I suggest getting an OT to work with you and your son.

It could be a processing issue. My 11 year old son with AS can't tie his shoes or ride a bike. We've given up on the shoes and now use something similar to Lock Laces (we found a cheap version at a sporting goods store) and they work great. I've even considered using them myself. We had a really incompetent OT evaluation through our school - OT, "He knows how to tie his shoes!" Me, "No he doesn't. He can't tie his shoes." OT, "Wellllll, he knows all of the *steps* involved in tying his shoes......so he can tie them" Me, making disgusted face.

We still practice with the bike occasionally, and I think he'll eventually get it, but when you break it down into all of the individual components, it's pretty complicated - pedaling, balancing, steering, watching where you are going. My guy is a surfer and has amazing balance on a board, even with really small waves, but just can't bring all of those individual tasks together. On a surfboard, he just has to balance (and has now learned how to turn) He also can't write. He has processing based dysgraphia and struggles with any kind of written expression, because just like riding a bike, writing is really a bunch of interconnected small tasks that make up one "thing".

Pedaling forward, keeping up enough speed to balance, feeling that balance, keeping your hands on the handlebars, looking where you're going, looking out for obstacles, compensating with your handlebars if you hit a small bump, finding that balance of compensation with both leaning your body and using the handlebars and then you have to remember that you have brakes (and how to use them)....... I suspect that when lots of NT kids learn how to ride a bike, most of this comes naturally with practice and they don't have to consciously think about integrating all of these steps together.

I really don't have much advice. If it's a vestibular/fine motor issue, an OT could potentially help. If it's processing based, it's just something that needs to be accommodated for. For a few years, I was pushing the school, especially with the shoe tying. For me it turned into a battle that wasn't worth even fighting, since there is such an easy, acceptable way to accommodate for it. If it bothers your son, than work on it. I never thought to try this, but there are lots of videos on YouTube teaching how to tie shoes - those might be worth trying.

I've had a harder time accepting the lack of bike riding than my son - I would love to take him biking. But we can still walk together. I made a point of explaining to him why he was probably having a hard time learning to ride - which makes sense since he understands why he has such a hard time writing.

Both of these things for me fall into the "pick your battles" category, especially when it comes to school services. They can't give you everything so you should save this "fight" for something really important. He can still go to college if he can't tie his shoes or ride a bike.

Have you tried taking his pedals off?

My son is now going around parking lots with the pedals off. He does "step-step-step------glide-------step-step-step-------glide-------". It is helping his ability to balance and also figuring out the mechanics of steering. I saw a bunch of NT kids, some as young as 4, learn how to ride this way in the space of 90 minutes. It is taking longer for us, but it has been more successful than trying with the pedals on.

Another thing that helped my son a great deal was Tae Kwon Do. When he started, his ability to imitate someone else's motor movements was pretty much non-existent. There really weren't words to describe his lack of coordination. They had to do a lot of physical manipulation with him. And he advanced in belt way slower than his typical peers. And his movements lack the grace of most of the other kids. But if you get the right chung sah nim (master), the transformation can be remarkable. You do, however, have to get into a dojang where they understand that your kid cannot "help" his deficits and that yelling will not make them go away. I have had friends who's kids were totally demoralized by what amounted to ignorant bullying on the part of the staff. My son's staff--from the grand master all the way down to the student instructors--treated my son with more respect than probably anywhere outside of his family. I believe they truly love him and feel exhilarated with the progress he has made, even though he is technically well behind what one could reasonably expect.

Focus IS an issue for kids with AS. And meds are NOT the answer. Learn to tie shoes and to ride a bike without supporting wheels are both very difficult for kids with AS. It took my daughter about a year to learn each properly. You need to be very patient, try different approaches, and do not give up or frustrate because they are not capable or doing it. They will get there. Just be patient and keep trying, and try to make Caleb part of his learning process. Ask for his suggestions. Try to make it a fun/family activity instead of something that triggers his anxiety.

I agree - it is "normal" on these boards to read of kids learning to tie shoes at age 9 or older and to ride a bike at age 11 or older. Their development is just plain different, is all - things happen when kids are ready for them. You could be having multiple different issues: motor skills, motor planning, sequencing, attention, just plain not understanding why they have to do this useless thing when they can get around perfectly well by walking in untied shoes, etc. One thing that helps a lot with kids who have difficulty with sequencing is a visual sequence map http://www.autism-community.com/the-bedtime-routine/ (if he can read, you can use words - otherwise use clipart or photographs) Here's more info on sequencing http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/arti ... sequencing

There is a thread, here, http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp2953418.html#2953418 where I used a method I highly recommend to teach my son (at age 10, I think) to ride a bike. I've since found other older kids (not all on the spectrum) who found it a much better way to learn. It does require that they be able to pedal and steer (if they can ride a trike or a bigwheel, this method will work.) That method has three big lessons that apply broadly to teaching anything to kids on the spectrum: 1) It is completely kid-driven and hands-off. Kids do it at their own pace. 2) Each part of the skill is learned separately (balancing, balancing while moving, balancing while pedaling - and of course, pedaling and steering were already learned.) 3) The entire method is logically explained in steps that make sense (don't discount the science lesson at the beginning.)

We finally got DS to tie his shoes using the "bunny-ears" method sometime in 3rd grade. Really cool shoes helped as motivation. http://kidsfashion.about.com/od/doityou ... eshoes.htm Frankly, we still use slip-ons or triathalon no-tie laces because it's not worth the frustration every day; even though he can do it, it's still difficult. As an adult, he will be able to continue with the triathlete laces, or will wear slip-ons - it's not a life skill. I stopped worrying.

In short, I think you have lots of things to try before you head to medication, no matter what the school says. There isn't a medication out there that will change your child's particular trajectory of development. Here on this forum there is a lot of help stickied to the top of this board: an "index" of sorts by topic, and a list of suggested reading among other things. Lots of valuable knowledge there from people who've been through it.

PS. Schools and school support staff are notoriously generalists. If your child is on the spectrum, you need a specialist: if you have access to healthcare, I highly recommend seeking out a developmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist or someone else who specializes specifically in developmental disorders. If you can't afford one, find out what your local government or local autism society can do for you. Finding out what your child's specific deficits (and strengths) are and addressing them with specific therapy can make a world of difference - often, if you get the diagnosis right, the school can usually offer the therapy - but you have to know exactly what therapy to ask for. Take it from someone who found out the hard way.

I couldn't ride a bike until I was an adult.

Great responses and so helpful. Yes I think now it is more of a motor skills problem with some issues on just focusing. I will look into the shoes some have recommended and also will ask around about an OT to work with Caleb. One poster sited that these are not simple tasks and I agree totally- now. I want to do what's right for Caleb and it's, somehow, comforting to know that others with autism struggled with these tasks as well- thanks to all. ( I am by no means closing this post, please keep replies coming! ) Paul

momsparky; Thank you for the informative response and will follow some of your suggestions- Paul

Good luck!

My 12 yr old only learned to ride a bike last summer, and is still very wobbly on it, and is still unable to do laces, we just use slip on shoes now lol. However she also has dyspraxia which is a contributing factor to this. Prefers to eat with her fingers, awful handwriting etc.

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