Wow, now I'm really worried about Kindergarten...

Post Reply New Topic

So we had a kindergarten "playdate" today because kidnergarten is going to start on tuesday. Basically the playdate is everyone meets up at the school playground, the kids lay and meet eachother and the teachers.

My daughter about had a nervous breakdown at first, but then eventually played by herself. Wouldn't play with the other kids, talk to them, or even really acknowledge they existed at all. Then when it was time to meet the teacher she didn't want to then wouldn't or couldn't talk to her and stimmed the entire time.

Other kids kept trying to play with her, but she completely ignored them and played by herself.

I can already tell... this is going to be rough.

I've contacted the school several times to try to find out what is in place for special needs kids. I ahve discovered that there is a huge misunderstanding about aspergers. They all think it means she will be super smart. In her case true, but I'm not sure they are aware of other issues even though I've tried to tell them several times.

I'm not sure what else to do. I'm worried she will start kindergarten and it will be pre school (Which she got kicked out of) all over again...

Was pre-k in the same school as k, or in a different? Did your K school get any kind of report or anything from the Pre-k?

The reason I ask is because often times the schools will take these things more seriously than information from the parent. Sometimes they think parents are hyperbolic and overprotective but will take school reports (and doctor's reports) more seriously.

Did you ask them what services are in place? Does your child have an IEP (A written plan, required in the U.S, as a result of testing(or whatever is analogous where you live)

CWA, if I recall correctly you just recently got a diagnosis, a medical one right? Please forgive me if I am confusing you with another poster here. You are in the US right? If so, and what you have is a medical diagnosis, you may want to consider having the school system do an evaluation. If you are not opposed to having a school label, you will need to go through this step to get her an IEP. I am a firm believer that the potential concerns people have about getting a "label" are out-weighed by the benefits that can be gained by having the tools available to address some of your daughter's specific needs. However, I realize that is my opinion and it doesn't work for every family.

Yes, The diagnosis was recent and was through two psychologists who performed a WJ-COG, ADOS, CBCL (i think this is what I filled in), and a CARS. Both psychs agreed on the autistic disorder diagnosis. I have contacted the school several times regarding testing because once of the psych docs said that would be a good idea and they act like they do not know what I am talking about. It is very frustrating and I'm not sure what to do.

Kindergarten is in a seperate public school so she would be bussed back and forth from the daycare provider to the school every day.

I am a bit worried about the label and it is my husbands primary concern. He HATES labels and considers EVERYONE except the most severely handicapped to be normal. Good on him, but I don't want it getting in the way of anything that might help her.

I did give them a copy of her report and her kindergarten teacher indicated that she had read it when we met her today. There is an open house on Monday and I am going to ask again about the IEP etc... Initially, I'm really concerned about meltdowns and hostility towards the other kids.

You need to formally request the IEP evaIuation IN WRITING, to either the director of special Ed or the principal. Do it the first day of school. It will likely take at least the first semester and possibly all year to get all their evaluations done and everything agreed upon and services in place, even though there are laws on how quickly everything is supposed to happen. You can find example letters at www.wrightslaw.com.

My son just finished a very difficult year of kindergarten, and I remember how stressed I felt this time last year. The good news is that even though most of K was very rough for us, by the last few months things made a dramatic turn for the better and I am much more confident that first grade will go well.

If your daughter is prone to meltdowns, I would suggest writing a one page letter to the teacher listing your top 5 comcerns, and giving tips on how you handle her meltdowns. Mine contained a chart that I based on the one in Congrats Your Child Is Strange. The columns were "Anxiety Level", "Warning Signs", and "Things That Have Helped in the Past". Some of the warning signs were things like, "begins to circle the room", and "may repeat phrases like, 'I don't like that' but is losing the ability to answer questions". The tips ranges from, "Ask if he would like to go get a drink of water" to "At this level, do not touch him unless absolutely necessary for safety.". The teacher later said this chart was very helpful until she got to know him better.

I agree with Zette in that you need your request IN WRITING. Sound as educated and formal as you possibly can. Use big words and sentences with complex structures. You may think I am kidding, but I am not. I found the SD my kids used to be in only started paying attention to me once I educated myself on the system and made sure they knew that I knew.

Re: kindergarten. It can be tough. But it may be premature to worry too much. She may start off slow, but as she becomes comfortable, she might just surprise you with how good she does. Also, if it helps, the "worst" kid in kindergarten in my daughter's class (spent the first 45 minutes of every day crying and trying to hide) was NT. By 1st grade I would say that she became the "leader" of the girls. I tell you this so you will know that it won't just be your daughter having issues adjusting. That is still pretty normal for a kindergartener, though I think it is more stressful for ASD parents because we are already primed for a lot of issues and I think it makes us worry more.

And here's a hint in case it applies to you. My daughter is not asocial. She does like other kids. But sometimes she needs time alone to keep herself regulated. When we first moved to our new school, the teachers and playground monitors kept sending kids over to play with her and she was frequently melting down. It think the stress of the constant interaction was just too much for her. She got much better when they all started asking her if she wanted to play alone or with someone else. If she said someone else, then they'd help her join in, otherwise they just leave her alone. It seems to be working for her.

Good luck!

My son starts this year and I'm much more nervous than he is.He is so behind socially but he has an IEP in place.I hope everything goes ok.I'll be silently watching EVERYTHING I can.This is a big change for all our kids.Years of preschool have really helped my son but this is so different.

Socially, there may not be much you can do until your daughter becomes comfortable at school. For my son, it wasn't until his daily (hourly?) meltdowns were brought under control by a combination of meds and help from a district behavioral analyst that he was willing to sit with other kids at snack time or interact at recess. She was actually working mainly on how to get him to focus on schoolwork, not on the social stuff, but once things were going well in other areas, his teacher was able to gently encourage other kids to approach him and include him.

We tried a few playdates at the park, but it was a disaster. DS would either ignore the other kid or have a meltdown when other kids didn't play the way he expected. Logistics with my other children made setting up playdates difficult in any case. Next year I'm going to aim for more structured activities like bowling and mini golf.

You might see if there is a girl scout troop that draws from your school. Daisy's starts in kindergarten for girls. On the other hand, it might be too much to add to your plate in the beginning, since you might have to deal with meltdowns in that setting, too.

Another idea is to find a social skills class outside of school, run by a speech therapist.