Anyone here have/had emotionally abusive parents?

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I did and still do. They were born in the 50's and grew up in small towns where people with developmental and social disabilities were laughed at and bullied. They bullied me in my childhood and they bully me now. What can I do to change this? I know I can't change them...it's in their power to do that.

They've yelled at me lots, called me names, compared me to other kids, commented on my size since I was a teenager (which is getting larger every year because of past psychological issues that didn't get solved).

They completely favour my brother who is of sound NT mind and it's not fair. They put me at the bottom of the barrel even though I've made a success out of my life against all odds.

At least I have a boyfriend that loves me for me...and that's all I need. If I died tomorrow, my immediate family would be happy/wouldn't care.

That is just terrible. Believe me, having abusive parents is a very terrible experience whether you are NT or not. If you were born NT into an abusive home, you will not leave NT. My advice is to get away from your parents and don't look back. See them once a year on Christmas. Make sure that you don't get into an abusive romantic relationship; keep in mind that you are more likely to since your parents abused you. Good luck to you.

yes, but not in the same way.

I agree that you need to get away from them, but I know it's not easy. Maybe you could look for a shelter for domestic abuse survivors? If you already have a job that can support you living in your own apartment, maybe you should just start looking for apartments (I'm assuming you're old enough for this if your parents were born in the 50's).

I live on my own...I would never live with them again.

I need a support group to help me lose weight because it sure isn't going to come from them. I am at least 70 pounds overweight and am feeling it in the feet.

My mum was emotionally abusive towards me until I've stood up for my rights, a couple of weeks ago. She was trying to push me to be like her, by living in the present for three years without any results. I told her that I got my life back on track three years ago, expecting her to to be happy for me. She told me that I've got to live in the present, because she wasn't happy for me. I quizzed her on it, asking if she wanted me to be more like my sister who's up to date with the trends and music. I asked her what I meant by living in the present. She thought that I was trying to live in the 60s by "trying" to be the Beatle, than "trying" to be the Kink and "trying" to be Austin Powers. I put my foot down and told her, "I was being myself in the Mid-Late 90s when I was dressing like The Kinks!" I told her that I had to go, she said not to hang up all pissed off, but I said goodbye to her and hung up on her, anyways.

When I got back after a trip to the pharmacy, I noticed that she phoned back when I was gone. I phoned her back. We talked about my niece for a few minutes, than I've decided to get to the bottom of the issue. I told my mum that I like the 60s more than most people because that's my happy place. My mum told me that of course I'm going to wear the same clothes as The Kinks, because I like them.

If you can't "fix" your AS child by the time they're 38, than just let them live the life that they want to.

I've tried living in the present for two years, making myself very sick and tired. I've tried an experiment on myself for 10 minutes, living in the present by listening to Farrah Abraham on YouTube. I actually felt myself getting sick, three days later. The computerized and auto tuned music was playing in my head, over and over and I was really shaking.

It's better that I be in my happy place when I'm not at work.

This is what Farrah sounds like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyo7gK9S ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJuu_4SR8-Y

Sounds like your mum doesn't get the concept of an Aspie focus/obsession.
She may think that your 60s focus is emabarrassing to others and wants to protect you from that (or, more pesimistically, wants to spare herself embarrassment).

As a parent of an aspie (child, not an adult), I believe that the focus shouldn't be resisted. You can't force an Aspie to give up their focus, it what drives and motivates them and (in my layman's pop psychology) enables them to have a little control on a part of their life (as you said, your happy place). I tried to resist my Aspie's focus at first, it's like standing in front of a freight train.

But if you work with the Aspie focus... holy cow, it's like a superpower. The great gift Aspies have is to reach a depth of knowledge/ability in a narrow area that most NTs can't. If you have a 5yo Aspie whose focus is Ben 10 and you run with it, then in no time your son is spelling Diamondhead while their class is spelling cat.

You're obviously an adult so you can tell her where to stick it, but if I were in her shoes I'd try to find a compromise. I'd start by explaining that I wanted to help you get along with NTs, and perhaps suggest that we work together to find which 60s fashions work well today, things like that.

1. get away from them. 2. tell them, on the phone if necessary, that you are no longer going to allow them to say mean and/or abusive comments to you anymore.
that's it. for me, the people in my family who choose not to stop bullying me: I just never will be around them anymore.

My mom was really emotionally abusive towards me and my dad. I ran away when I was around 22 and have lived on my own since then. A year ago she found me in Skype and gave me a call to say how much I had disappointed her. It was a short one because I only told her she can go f*ck herself, but my hands started trembling after I hung up - just the same way as when I was 15 years old.
I'm really sorry for my Dad 'cause I love him and I know he loves me too though he has never protected me from my mom's bullying. I know she's been bullying him all their life as well and he's a soft person who can't defend himself or anyone else. I'm very sorry I haven't seen him for more than 10 years. I tried to communicate with him behind my mom's back but she found it out quite soon and stopped it. I secretly hope this b*tch dies before him and my Dad will move in with me and my husband. i know it sounds terrible but that's how she makes me feel.

My stepmother is what my aunt once called an "emotional terrorist."