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Mootoo
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20 Sep 2012, 5:57 pm

So, I'm just putting this out there. Society seems to be incredibly inflexible with whoever didn't happen to have a barely functional family... I'm extremely lonely and depressed (as can be evidenced from my frantic posts on the other forums), this being the result of having virtually no contact with anyone non-professional. I spent 1980 hours on average this summer alone... obviously due to actually living alone.

Also, why should age matter? All I want is company... nothing in relation to finances. I'm like a lonely old lady in a home who is desperate for a visit. :(

I just can't shake the feeling that there must be someone out there who could fill this void in my life... and I don't mean romantically. I'd like to be able to love someone but I fear I'd end up treating them as if they were my parent.

Ultimately, why does the universe select parents randomly, goddammit?! :x I want the chance to have rational, caring parents too!



Kailuamom
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20 Sep 2012, 6:29 pm

Hey MooToo (BTW - we have the most adorable puppy named Moo) -

Why don't you give a little thought to who you can adopt? When I am feeling lonely or self absorbed I find being of service to others really fills the void. I also end up making connections in my life.

SO - What can you do for someone else? Can you visit that little old lady in a nursing home, feed the homeless, teach someone about your special interest or play with animals at the pound?

I can't speak highly enough about how doing for others or for the planet is good on all accounts.



Prof_Pretorius
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20 Sep 2012, 6:29 pm

You want to "divorce" your parents?


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Mootoo
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20 Sep 2012, 6:58 pm

Kailuamom, most of those activities fall under 'volunteering' and aren't usually of any long-term adoption. If you do actually mean adoption (of people) I did actually think about it once and tried to inquire... but it's virtually impossible for a single person, from the looks of it.

Prof_Pretorius, no, I have got nothing to do with them anymore.



Fnord
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20 Sep 2012, 7:04 pm

Every time I see a nice family having a good time together, my inner child says, "Me too, please?"

:cry:



redrobin62
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20 Sep 2012, 8:42 pm

Personally, I hate being alone and I feel MooToo's pain. Sometimes, though, I wonder if I'm better off by myself. I tend to stay pretty busy writing fiction and cataloguing music. Interruptions would just drive me crazy. Would I expect anyone to just sit quietly while I remained self absorbed in my tasks? Nope. Neither party would benefit. Sigh. Company would still be sweet.



Cogs
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21 Sep 2012, 2:21 am

I can totally relate to this. Never had close relationships etc, I have been managing my own things (medical etc.) since about age 11 and used to wish that another family would adopt me. I'm obviously too old for that now but have been feeling the need for some parent like input in my life. One of the really good things that has happened is that i am regularly staying with a family who has a kid with as/adhd- its nice being around people who understand me however they have their hands full dealing with their kids. I found our local lawn bowls club was full of old people happy to have someone to talk with and do things with, however at the point i trialled lawn bowls i didn't want people involved in my life. Maybe you could try joining a local club that has old people (doesn't have to be lawn bowls) - I've found they are normally willing.and happy to talk with younger people who are polite, considerate and interested in their lives


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OliveOilMom
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21 Sep 2012, 9:31 am

If you lived near me you could come here. We are known for taking in strays. ;-)


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alpineglow
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22 Sep 2012, 4:21 pm

Agree with Kailuamom, how about just giving a short term volunteering a try? It may turn into something longer, you never know. As long as you are presentable, and you're into turkey and pies, you could come for Thanksgiving, even though I am usually almost a hermit, I have 'open door' policy for that one holiday.
- oh, i just noticed you're in the UK, but the thought is there, and I hope you figure out a way forward. We could have a virtual Thanksgiving on WP at least?



SpiritBlooms
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22 Sep 2012, 4:33 pm

Kailuamom wrote:
Hey MooToo (BTW - we have the most adorable puppy named Moo) -

Why don't you give a little thought to who you can adopt? When I am feeling lonely or self absorbed I find being of service to others really fills the void. I also end up making connections in my life.

SO - What can you do for someone else? Can you visit that little old lady in a nursing home, feed the homeless, teach someone about your special interest or play with animals at the pound?

I can't speak highly enough about how doing for others or for the planet is good on all accounts.

This crossed my mind too. My husband, who has a lot more need for companionship than I do but had awful parents and has even worse siblings, tends to make friends with older people. He always knows all the seniors in the neighborhood and visits them, just sits and talks. There are lots of lonely elderly people living alone at home or in nursing homes who would love a visit from ANYONE, and would especially appreciate a friend.

You could also join a church. I'm not religious, but I think if I lived alone later in life I'd join a Unitarian church, or something non-dogmatic like that, to have a community.

I knew a woman in my writer's group who volunteered reading stories to children at the community center after school. Others I've known volunteered at the humane society or a pet rescue organization.

There are lots of ways to get to know people - nice people.



Issit
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24 Sep 2012, 6:41 am

Fnord wrote:
Every time I see a nice family having a good time together, my inner child says, "Me too, please?"

:cry:

THIS



alpineglow
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24 Sep 2012, 10:27 am

{hugs} - virtual hugs to inner children of Issit and Fnord and Mootoo



Tequila
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24 Sep 2012, 10:53 am

I live in Britain, but you don't want me. I'm an as*hole. ;)



Kailuamom
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24 Sep 2012, 2:32 pm

Mootoo wrote:
Kailuamom, most of those activities fall under 'volunteering' and aren't usually of any long-term adoption. If you do actually mean adoption (of people) I did actually think about it once and tried to inquire... but it's virtually impossible for a single person, from the looks of it.

Prof_Pretorius, no, I have got nothing to do with them anymore.


I guess I will be more clear -

Volunteer to do for someone else what you want someone to do for you.

What exactly do you want someone to do that would "adopt you". Figure out what actions that means - not some vague "I belong to you" but an actual.... "Someone to xxxx with on holidays" and then volunteer to do that with someone in need. So it depends on what "adopt me" meant to you when you wrote it, but I'm pretty sure you can get that by volunteering and then even better; the likelihood of you attracting someone into your life who may actually want to adopt you into their life, increases exponentially.



helles
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24 Sep 2012, 4:21 pm

There are lots of people who would like a new person in their life. But it is not always easy to get into contact.

In my experience it gets more difficult the older you get. The reason being that in college etc. people do not have obligations towards their family, later in life (when many people get a family and a job) all the "placeholders" are filled. There are simply not so much time to meet and befriend new people, and we tend to keep to the few persons we already know.

I have often thought about one of the most adverse things about the many people from all ower the world congregating on WP is the fact that it is so difficult to meet each other :)


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alpineglow
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24 Sep 2012, 6:56 pm

helles wrote:
There are lots of people who would like a new person in their life. But it is not always easy to get into contact.

In my experience it gets more difficult the older you get. The reason being that in college etc. people do not have obligations towards their family, later in life (when many people get a family and a job) all the "placeholders" are filled. There are simply not so much time to meet and befriend new people, and we tend to keep to the few persons we already know.

I have often thought about one of the most adverse things about the many people from all ower the world congregating on WP is the fact that it is so difficult to meet each other :)


Agreed. Indeed it is difficult to meet each other . That was what I was thinking when I suggested (above) a virtual Thanksgiving on WP. I suspect there are quite a few of us who eat dinner alone.