To parents: "Mood swings"?

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Hi, parents. I recently read a book that featured interviews with parents whose kids are on the autism spectrum. Many parents mentioned that their kids have sudden and violent mood swings. I often use the phrase "mood swings" myself, yet I don't fully understand what mood swings are. I mean, if I don't want to have mood swings, what am I supposed to do?

1. If I wake up in the morning in a particular mood, does that mean that I should maintain that particular mood throughout the day?
2. If I sense that my mood will be changing soon, do I have to notify the person nearest to me that my mood will be changing soon, then wait for a period of time (say 5 to 15 minutes) before I show the change in mood through facial expressions etc. so that people won't think that my mood swing is sudden?
3. Any ideas? Any suggestions?

Thanks in advance.

Have your parents or others around you commented on you having mood swings? If not, you don't need to do anything differently.

It's normal for everyone's mood to change over the course of a day, and usually this is somewhat gradual. For instance, someone might generally wake up grumpy, be more pleasant after they've had breakfast and through most the day, then get tired and irratible at the end of a long day. When people talk about mood swings, they're remarking on someone having very sudden extremes, usually sudden spikes of bad mood where the trigger is not obvious to the observer, or the reaction seems out of proportion to the cause. Sometimes it goes the other direction, being suddenly, dramatically happy and energetic without an obvious (to the observer) cause.

If a child is happily playing along and then suddenly he's screaming, the parent might consider this a mood swing -- we get this a lot when one of my son's lego creations breaks. Ideally we'd like to teach him to handle this momentary frustration without screaming, and simply say "dang it" and move on to putting it back together.

You don't need to feel compelled to stay in the same mood all the time. I think zette makes a good point in saying that people use the term mood swing when it is not obvious to them why another person's mood has changed. My experience is like zette's in that our son, 6 yo HFA, often goes from fine to very angry quickly with what appears to be little provocation. NT kids often have a little more tolerance for irritating things and so they don't appear to go from zero to 60 (as we say) in an instant. I suspect that for our son, there are many little things that lead up to the angry outburst however he doesn't show a reaction to each little thing that bothers him. We are also working on teaching him coping mechanisms so that he can respond to things that bother him with less intensity.

To answer your second question, I don't think you need to wait a particular period of time rather do let your companion know how you are feeling and what is causing your mood to change, if you are aware of it that is. For all of us, it is helpful to those around us if they understand how we are feeling and why.

It is not that you need to stay in the same mood all day. Your mood should reflect how you feel, and how you feel will vary with what happens during your day. Not all mood changes should be shared with just anyone who happens to be around you because sometimes the NT world wants you to pretend your mood is not what it really is for politeness.

For example if you get a really disappointing birthday present, you should try not to show this, as it looks rude. You should try to pretend you are pleased. This is a relatively simple example but there are many more. Generally the less you know someone, the less about your mood you should share either vocally or with body language. The more extreme versions of most emotions should be kept to yourself too. If you are really mad, you should usually try to only show it a little, if at all. This can be confusing because it depends on thew specific instance, Sometimes you do need to let people know you are mad so they will alter their own behavior, But in most cases you should not act really really mad, only a little.

When people talk about mood swings, most people talk about what is shown to the outside world, because that is all they can see. They cannot really see how you really feel, only how you act.

My son can not edit this very well at all, and honestly I could be better at this also.

To all: Hi. Thanks a lot for replying.
To ASDMommyASDKid: I have always assumed that "Show neither joy nor anger on your face." is an exclusively Asian concept, but hmm, it might be a universal concept after all. I notice that many people maintain a poker face (poker face=no expression) when they are in doubt, especially when they are in a new environment.
To Bombaloo: I agree with you that meltdowns aren't always triggered by major incidents. If too many tiny little annoyances pile up in your son's mind yet he can't rant about them or forget them or do something fun to de-stress, he might experience a meltdown. I'm glad to hear that you have been teaching him coping mechanisms.
To zette: People remarked about my "sudden mood swings" when I was still a kid, but nowadays, people have given me feedback about my facial expressions, not mood swings. I admit that I sometimes have a hard time maintaining a poker face. Despite having a monotonous voice, people often figure my emotions out easily because my facial expressions seem so intense to them. Besides, I rarely show conflicting emotions on my face, hence I admit that I'm quite easy to "read".

You are right about this also varying by culture. Some cultures expect more emotional restraint than others. In my experience, all cultures I have come into contact with have required at least some editing of facial expressions, mannerisms and emotional speech. It can be very confusing.