When smart kids make very bad grades

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My daughter, up until this year made pretty good grades. All A's and B's. Her teachers prior to this year helped her out a lot. They modeled how to do the first problem or explained/interpreted what the question meant. Because of my daughter's pragmatic issues and inability to generalize, problem solving can be difficult. Also, if a problem is not VERY specific she becomes lost. This year (4th grade) it seems the teacher has the attitude that a student needs to "figure things out on their own". She takes a far more hands off approach. She also gives worksheets with no introduction to the material/topic and no explanation on what it is about. She expects the students to read the directions and complete the paper. However, I am seeing that often the paper uses terminology my daughter is unfamiliar with and she is too socially anxious to ask for help.

In some cases the material is targeting her weaknesses, such as complete papers on re-writing sentences interpreting the idioms or figures of speech. Also, papers that ask for interpretations such as "Where does this take place?", and "What happens Next?". Sometimes they grade the papers as a class and this is causing embarrassment. Also, this year if any part of the answer is spelled incorrectly the entire answer is wrong (even in subjects like science and history).

Anyway, these past 9 weeks my daughter has brought home mostly very poor grades, including many zeroes, and papers that she is being required to re-attempt. The thing is, last year she had standardized testing where she tested many grade levels above in practically all subjects (except for math, which strangely enough is the one subject she is doing fine in this year). In geography (one of her special interests) she tested on a 11th grade level! And yet every Georgraphy paper she brings home is a VERY poor grade. She knows names of states and countries, and their capitals, but most of her papers are a combination of studying a map and answering (sometimes) vague questions regarding lattitude and longitude, map grids, etc, etc. The point is, she is losing self esteem, confidence, AND WORST OF ALL her desire to participate or try at school.

I have not addressed this at all because just dealing with my daughter's anxiety levels and getting her adjusted to a new classroom has been my entire focus up to this point.

I know this is a case of material format and not abilities. But everytime I try to explain the material to her the next paper comes home a 20 or 30 and the format is different. I have pretty much given up and have explained to her that grades do not define how smart you are. I gave her several examples of smart people who made bad grades (including my aspie brother). But, is this the right way to handle this situation? Should I be telling her it's OK to make poor grades in curriculum that is unfairly stacked against her? Should I instead be trying to get the curriculum modified or special dispensation for her such as having the papers explained?

She is in a private school, not public so there is no IEP or 504, etc. Where we live public education is extremely lacking. The only kids that attend public school here are the extremely impoverished and they receive very poor educations.

What would you do in this situation?

Can you bring it up with the principal, if you are not getting any understanding from the teacher? Have they had any training at all on spectrum issues? Are they willing to learn?

You might be able to get buy in even without an IEP because of the testing. Based on what I have seen, schools are somewhat more helpful if they see your kid has potential. The aptitude testing may work to your advantage. Everyone should be able to get help when they need it, but in real life they seem to need a justification.

Honestly, even though it is a private school and they don't have to follow IEPs or 504 plans, I would ask for accommodations. I understand that you have been trying to get her to function on an even footing with the other kids but having her self-esteem constantly trampled is probably not going to be good for her in the long run. It sounds like with just a few adjustments that things could be vastly improved for her. Pre-teaching would be one of those things. I can understand why in the 4th grade that the teacher wants the students to be more self-sufficient and responsible for themselves however, IMHO, if your daughter is failing, the teacher is failing. To me, it makes some sense for a child to get a bad grade because they didn't study or they were goofing off in class instead of listening to instruction, etc. but this doesn't seem to be the case for your DD. If a child is getting bad grades because they don't understand the instructions, then the teacher isn't being effective for that student. It seems odd that the teacher would see the consistent bad grades from a kid who is trying and not try to do something about it.

When my kids were in a private school (both above average IQs, one with ASD and one with NVLD/ADHD), they could not accommodate IEPs because they did not have the resources or adjunct staff required. However, they would accommodate 504's. The only thing is that I had to be the one to write them up and explain them. I would speak with the principal and explain the concerns. If nothing else, explain that it will help his school's scores because it will keep her on track.

Also, depending upon where you are and what kind of private school you are in, you may still have access to some public school resources. In the school my kids were in, the district had to provide remedial support for kids in ELA and Math. They had a teacher at the private school who taught remedial ELA and remedial Math. They let my son participate in remedial math, even though he passed his standardized tests. He just needed a little extra support.

I think you need to ask for a conference with the teacher. Make sure you have her specific issues documented by a professional (if she's got a pragmatic deficit, bring the test results and also bring a description of what pragmatics are and how they affect learning.) Let the teacher know that you understand she wants kids to learn to manage problem-solving, and you want your daughter to do that, too - but that she is strongly disadvantaged by this approach and needs more support.

If she doesn't understand you need to bring in the principal for another meeting. Explain that your child is fully capable of doing well at this school without SPED support but that she needs some simple and minor accommodations to help her manage one thing at a time: she can't manage her speech difference and simultaneously learn the math lesson. Explain that you are offering speech therapy or support on your own (or however you're doing it.) Offer standard strategies for them to use, for instance a sequenced list of steps to follow. Explain that this is SOP for children on the spectrum, who when they receive the support they need often grow up to be engineers, scientists and mathematicians.

I had a teacher like this in third grade, it was very difficult.

You need to talk to the teacher and explain the situation, how she struggles, how she can be helped. If the teacher doesn't help her, then you need to go to the principal.

Thanks everyone. I have a conference scheduled Wednesday with the principal and teacher to go over the issues. Hopefully they'll have some recommendations. We've already discussed some pre-teaching, don't know how that will work but I will see what they have to say.