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Shellfish
Velociraptor
Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 485
Location: Melbourne, Australia
29 Jan 2013, 2:38 am
29 Jan 2013, 9:05 am
29 Jan 2013, 10:57 am
29 Jan 2013, 11:08 am
29 Jan 2013, 12:02 pm
Shellfish wrote:
Hi,
My son (6) seems to have picked up some of the 'basics' of friendship fairly well, he pretty much mimics what other kids are doing but is improving a lot in terms of conversations, turn taking, sharing, flexibility with playing other games (not just his special interest games).
We are having trouble explaining the politics of friendship - he has made a new friend (Jo - for these purposes)) who he seems to worship (perhaps his new 'special interest'?). Jo also loves Super Mario Bros, and so they have bonded from the word go - but now my son has decided to exclude his other friends, and tells them that he prefers Jo to them (we all live in the same townhouse complex and the kids come and go willy nilly). These kids are young and all little fickle so probably aren't that fussed - YET but sooner or later they aren't going to be too pleased with playing second fiddle and it just doesn't seem to get through to my son that it's okay to have multiple friends.
As a side note, he also gets extremely anxious if Jo gets displeased in any way - if my son beats him at a computer game, or when he accidentally broke Jo's lego my son panics and will ask him repeatedly if he is still his 'best friend for ever and ever'. Not only is it annoying, Jo (who is older than my son) has realised that he can use this to his advantage and tells my son that he will be his best friend if he doesn't beat him again etc which annoys me - this isn't the message that I want my son taught about friendship.
Can anyone recommend a book that will explain more articulately that I can, what is involved in friendships?
My son (6) seems to have picked up some of the 'basics' of friendship fairly well, he pretty much mimics what other kids are doing but is improving a lot in terms of conversations, turn taking, sharing, flexibility with playing other games (not just his special interest games).
We are having trouble explaining the politics of friendship - he has made a new friend (Jo - for these purposes)) who he seems to worship (perhaps his new 'special interest'?). Jo also loves Super Mario Bros, and so they have bonded from the word go - but now my son has decided to exclude his other friends, and tells them that he prefers Jo to them (we all live in the same townhouse complex and the kids come and go willy nilly). These kids are young and all little fickle so probably aren't that fussed - YET but sooner or later they aren't going to be too pleased with playing second fiddle and it just doesn't seem to get through to my son that it's okay to have multiple friends.
As a side note, he also gets extremely anxious if Jo gets displeased in any way - if my son beats him at a computer game, or when he accidentally broke Jo's lego my son panics and will ask him repeatedly if he is still his 'best friend for ever and ever'. Not only is it annoying, Jo (who is older than my son) has realised that he can use this to his advantage and tells my son that he will be his best friend if he doesn't beat him again etc which annoys me - this isn't the message that I want my son taught about friendship.
Can anyone recommend a book that will explain more articulately that I can, what is involved in friendships?
Just wanted to say this sounds very much like my daughter at this age (and up until around age
. Unfortunately, my daughter had to learn these lessons on her own. She would become very upset if someone else played with the girl she liked and was very possessive of her. Kids will be kids and use taunts like the one you describe. While you can try to guide your son on this, it is something he will learn over time (a much longer time than typical kids) and I had to let things play out with my own daughter. While my daughter (age 9) still dosn't have "typical" friendships she is getting better about this.
29 Jan 2013, 9:22 pm
30 Jan 2013, 10:59 am
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