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Where does he get money to buy booze?

I bet if this was an NT we were talking about, straycat probably would not have a problem with what I am saying. But there are even NTs out there who are homeless because their parents also threw them out. If they were also doing drugs or booze or disrespectful their parents and their property so they kicked them out finally, yeah mom and I both agree this is the right thing to do. Disability doesn't make a difference.

I just find this all very sad.

I do not think there are any easy answers. The OP is obviously at her wits' end, and to be honest, to be the only working adult in a home of 3 adults where the other two just expect you to bleed yourself dry to provide for them would probably push anyone to their wits' end. I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

I think the truth is that parents here who do not have abusive older kids living at home cannot possibly understand the situation enough to have any clarity. And children, or adults without children cannot possibly understand the situation at all.

So I think that passing judgement or saying what you would or wouldn't do is probably less than helpful. I personally cannot imagine kicking my kid out, but I cannot imagine being in the OP's shoes either.

I don't even really know why I am posting except there is a lot of underlying contention going on here and I wish there wasn't because I feel bad for the people who have been mistreated by their parents and I feel bad for the parents who have been taken advantage of by their kids. I totally get the feeling of "OMGosh...this is NEVER going to end."

<sigh>

I, too, feel bad for the OP. I cannot imagine being in the situations she is in. I hope and pray that I never do...
sad situation to be in.

I identify with this first post so much. My oldest son, who was diagnosed with PDD-NOS as a small child, is now 18. He's still just a junior in high school. My husband and I have no intention of throwing him out or anything, but life is getting very complicated for us. My son is still very dependent and he also often doesn't bathe enough, doesn't bother to do homework and is in constant danger of flunking out of school. I'd support him 100 percent anyways, but the thing is I have two other younger children also on the autistic spectrum who go to a special school for kids with autism. One of them is almost completely nonverbal and I feel he may well be with us for life. If my oldest son was our only child that would be one thing but I just don't know if I have the strength and inner resources to care for all three of them for their entire lives. It doesn't help that I'm pretty sure that I'm on the spectrum myself, as well, and struggle with my own issues of social phobias and anxiety.

I love my children all so much, but I am just one person and there is only so far I can be stretched, you know?

earthmom, what was it like when you kicked your son out? You say he sank like a stone. What happened and how? How long did it last?

And what was it like for you when you kicked him out? What was the atmosphere at your house like?

I hope things improve for all of you.

It's awfully misguided to assume that number one, I'm a "child" and number two, I'm not a parent.

I'm 34. I keep trying to fix my damn profile, but for some reason it won't let me enter my birthdate.

When I say I would never do that to my own child, I speak from the perspective of an adult who has had children. Whether you want to say I'm not a mother because I'm not raising my kids is up to you.

But it's a good idea to ask [:

And no, AS or NT, I would try to figure out how to help my kid. I'm a nosy person, I'd ask then what they expected / needed / were trying to do.

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