Falling Apart

Post Reply New Topic

Thanks for all your feedback and suggestions. I didn't respond to everyone but I appreciate what was said.

The meltdowns lately are usually over 2 things:
1) Homework
2) Encopresis

The homework issue, his teacher seems to think he's being avoidant lately. It could be due to the increase of work load all students are getting. It could be due to the content (socials/science/novel study) that's hard for him to understand. There are a lot of big words he's having to define and remember and I don't think it sinks in for him. His novel study, he has to make a prediction (which is fine) but then having to explain what each chapter is about, is brutal. I've spoken to his teacher and we'll try to work something out.

Encopresis: This condition is when people have BM accidents. I understand why it's happening and apparently it's not a long term issue. Also, we've started reintroducing foods he was once sensitive to but has created diarrhea. It's really embarrassing for him to the point where he's avoiding taking care of the problem until I prompt him to. The smell has since transferred onto our couch. We've tried different strategies around it - didn't work - so I've litterally FLIPPED both couches up against the walls. It's a hard smell to get rid of!! Is it humiliating? Yes. Does it fuel aggression everytime I ask him to take care of this - yes. I've told him I am THE SAFEST PERSON to tell him about it. Not only can he develop further issues by ignoring it but can you imagine a classmate noticing it too? I am trying to prevent him from being humiliated by his peers because THAT'S a situation that will scar him for a very long time. I've also explained to him about what Encopresis is and that it's a temporary condition - relatively normal - and that I'm not at all upset by it. What I am upset about is when this problem starts affecting other people and is damaging furniture. I am scared his peers will find out and - gawd knows what! I was at least able to get him to tell me that he was embarrassed/ashamed about it which is a HUGE step forward.

So .. this week he is grounded. He's to work on a TOP 5 list throughout the week in order to earn fun time at an upcoming festival. So far, things are not going well at all. I DO see effort though but the aggression still comes up around homework and BMs. On a posititive side though, today is going rather well.. at least in terms of aggression and homework.. but arrived home an hour late.

We'll see..

There is a sometimes explicit website on sex education for teens in Paris, they offer an English version. I'd thought about showing my own son, but we found other resources that worked better. It doesn't quite have the information you're looking for, but it has a LOT of information that may help - but be aware that the slang is slightly different.

European sex ed tends to be a lot more explicit and offer a lot more concrete information in a format that a child can understand - but you might want to review it first.

http://www.cite-sciences.fr/english/ala ... -big-deal/

Another resource might be the website Scarleteen, which has a lot of very, very in-depth information but is presented in a format that I found to be kind of, well, wordy. The site does have a page about desire that includes masturbation, though:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... sers_guide

Just wanted to let you know that encompresis is a huge problem for my son who is now 13 1/2. If not addressed, it does get worse - and it has. In addition, it is a HUGE trigger for meltdowns. Everything about it triggers meltdowns. Prompting, not prompting, having him manage the clean up not having him manage the clean up.... UGH! I have no good answers EXCEPT if you can get it under control before he gets megacolon, he will be really well served. (For those who don't know what that is, google it, I don't have time to include the definition.) My son has developed this, and it has complicated matters.