Bully in gym class

Post Reply New Topic

Okay so my 12yr old son got bullied in gym class. Now today, the teacher talked with him about changing his clothes in the staff bathroom so he wouldn't have to deal with the bully in the locker room, or the other boys who were laughing at him when the bully was doing his thing. My son happily agreed to this. So while I recognize the school took steps to keep my kid safe, shouldn't the other boy be the one to have to go change in the staff room? He is the one who has a problem keeping his mouth shut, and his hands at home. It wasn't my kids fault that this boy decided to make someone a victim that day. This just really pissed me off. I suppose as long as the school is trying to stop the bullying from happening, and my boy is happy with the arrangement I should be glad they did something at all. This just burns me, that my son didn't start this situation yet he's the one that has to go change for class elsewhere. Whatever...

I see your point, but if I am to be completely honest, my 12 year old son would be beyond happy to be able to avoid the locker room for changing. It is extremely chaotic and stressful for him. And he is chubby, so on top of all of his other social issues, he is self conscious about that. I'm not saying you are wrong to be miffed, but sometimes when we look at the things that tick us off from our children's perspectives, they might actually be good things. As a matter of fact, I wish I wouldn't have had to use the locker room, too, so I wonder if it may be a spectrummy-trend to loathe the locker room. Or maybe not even spectrummy. Maybe it's just everyone who is not a super-cool-popular-jock who hates the locker room.

Having been in nearly the same situation(s) myself - though the gym thing was never handled by the teachers - I have been in parallel situations regarding adjustments made which singled me out.

I would say better safe than sorry, with regards to the alternate arrangements. Gym locker room can be very dangerous place to be assaulted.

And you may not like what I have to say next, but it is my own personal experience (reposting from another thread).

I agree with the other posters about being satisfied with your son being able to change separately. I assure you this is a privilege not a punishment. Had my son stayed in public school, I had every intention of asking for this pre-emptively and fighting for it, hard. Harder than I pushed for OT, even.

I have heard way too many stories about boys' locker rooms. Think about it this way, even if -you- view this as a reward for the boy and a punishment for your son: What if they "exiled" the other boy and then his friends decided to pick up where he left off to get brownie points with the bully. You don't want that.

There is a reason your son jumped at this. I really think it is best. The locker room is not some great socializing opportunity. It is awful.

League Girl,

I agree with you on principle. If it were something valuable that he was missing, and they were just doing it b/c it is the easiest path, then I would get that more.

Getting out of locker room nonsense seems like a good thing, though. I assume that ilocker rooms aew set up that way b/c it is more economical to have big open spaces like that, but I guess I always objected in principle to not being afforded privacy when changing (even without bullies.

I never got anything constructive out of locker rooms, and there just does not seem any upside to it, unless he enjoys the unstructured social aspect of it. It sounds like her son was very happy about being opted out of it, and so to me that means that maybe it is the right thing for him.

Thank you all for your posts. Since my son told me he has to change separately now, he is totally happy and hasn't said another word to me about it. I guess I'm the one whom it bothered mostly, it just seemed so unfair. I wish they could do something more to teach the other boy bullying isn't an option, but like I said they didnt share what his punishment was or if his parents were contacted about it. Probably because it involves protecting the privacy of a minor. Since he caused the whole thing that really had me fired up. As long as my kids safe and happy I will just have to accept it for now. Thank you again you all had great points to consider : )

I do think this is a very satisfactory solution. After all, if you can't prove which person is the actual bully (bullies LOVE to get their victims in trouble for bullying), you can at least SEPARATE them so that NO MATTER WHO the guilty party is, the behavior at least can't continue. Most kids, in my opinion, would do better without the body (or worse, "size") comparisons, snapping with towels, locking in lockers, etc. If there's a lot of that going on, I'd understand a "mass locker room walk-out!" It'll leave all the bullies to pick on people their own size...

I think it's wonderful that they let him change somewhere else.

When I was about that age I was expected to change for gym in a locker room in front of others. I just refused to do it and eventually just skipped gym and walked home every day I had gym just to avoid it. Gym was my last class of the day.

It never occurred to me to change somewhere else and no one suggested it to me. I went to school in my gym clothes on gym days and they didn't like that.

After resisting changing altogether by instinct I changed in the washroom, I had been inside the change rooms for other reasons and knew I was not doing that and wondered how changing in front of others was even legal. The school's and teachers never had any issues with that using the washroom and the locations were always close. One student in Grade 7 did ask why I did this and did tell me that the other kids were making fun of me for my choice not to change in the room and he suggested I start using the change room. I did not and never found out what kids were making fun of me, just something to think about.