Son injured by bully at school; no help from administration

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Adamantium
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20 Feb 2014, 5:03 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
Ruin your own kids then, if you ever have any. I don't give a sh**.

And by the way, during old school sh**, you shoot to WOUND, not kill. But oh yeah, you must have some expertise with firearms for that. Not have some little plastic gun take out of your hand and told "BRandon, Brandon, we don't ever, EVER use these! They are bad things!" Jesus f***ing Christ!


Your responses and general style seem a bit over the top, to me. Hyperbolic. "So far F***ing overboard you can't them with a life preserver" to paraphrase a colorful response in another thread.

It almost seems like you might be going through some kind of manic episode or have started a new medication--though I can equally well believe this ranting style is just how you habitually express yourself.

A couple of points, though:

1. Not every parent who does something to protect their kids in a specific situation is either a) overprotective or b) your mom.

2. Guns really have nothing to do with this conversation. Really nothing at all.



jag96
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20 Feb 2014, 9:09 pm

I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to my post. We sent a letter to the school superintendent and now have a meeting with him scheduled for next week, so we'll see how that goes. We are also having three different people (a disability advocate, the head of the Center for Autism at the local university where DS was diagnosed, and DS's behavioral therapist) review his file and IEP to see what they recommend.

I completely understand that there are parents who are overprotective to a fault, but I don't think we are among them. It's one thing to teach a child that he may have an occasional conflict with someone and needs to learn how to cope, and quite another to expect him to endure repeated and systematic abuse from peers and/or authority figures. Not to mention the simple fact that people need to be held accountable for their actions. The actions of the bullies are not OK, and they shouldn't be allowed to get away with this behavior as if my son doesn't matter. Honestly, if at 10 years old they are physically injuring and sexually harassing special-needs kids, what will they be doing at age 17 or 18? Hopefully our family will have moved out of the area by then and won't have to find out! :(



Erwin
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22 Feb 2014, 1:06 am

jag96 wrote:
I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to my post. We sent a letter to the school superintendent and now have a meeting with him scheduled for next week, so we'll see how that goes. We are also having three different people (a disability advocate, the head of the Center for Autism at the local university where DS was diagnosed, and DS's behavioral therapist) review his file and IEP to see what they recommend.

I completely understand that there are parents who are overprotective to a fault, but I don't think we are among them. It's one thing to teach a child that he may have an occasional conflict with someone and needs to learn how to cope, and quite another to expect him to endure repeated and systematic abuse from peers and/or authority figures. Not to mention the simple fact that people need to be held accountable for their actions. The actions of the bullies are not OK, and they shouldn't be allowed to get away with this behavior as if my son doesn't matter. Honestly, if at 10 years old they are physically injuring and sexually harassing special-needs kids, what will they be doing at age 17 or 18? Hopefully our family will have moved out of the area by then and won't have to find out! :(

It won't work since you've misunderstood the situation. It's judt that when people get offended, they retaliate. Your son probably misunderstood something and it came to this. I can't help everyone with this knowledge yet but I'll do my best. I used to be bullied. And the bullies told the teachers that I was bullying them. I thought they were lying but years after, I discovered they were not. They instead saw me as the alpha male all along. And still do. And here I thought natural leader selection sucked. They were always doing SO MUCH for me but I didn't even notice. They were also willing to let me punch an older student and hold him down if he retaliated. I didn't and it was kind of cruel but they were just trying to impress me. Now I'm the kind of guy random males add on facebook and recognize in real life. Females are also somewhat attracted but that's instinctive. May not even be because I'm an alpha. It may be that I'm something else as well. So anyway, I did often beat up my classmates when I misunderstood their jokes but they kept going so it didn't help. I started misunderstanding after I was diagnosed with aspergers and started taking concerta and what not. Humans are as they're supposed to, pills are not the solution. So I suggest your child talk about it to their bullies, explain and apologize. And you'll see that I'm right. If not, tell me. I'm open-minded like that. Although I've really seen a lot of this. Note that not everyone is an alpha. I've only met two other alpha females. And one otjer alpha male. We're as old as time in all cases.



Adamantium
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22 Feb 2014, 5:39 am

Erwin wrote:
jag96 wrote:
I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to my post. We sent a letter to the school superintendent and now have a meeting with him scheduled for next week, so we'll see how that goes. We are also having three different people (a disability advocate, the head of the Center for Autism at the local university where DS was diagnosed, and DS's behavioral therapist) review his file and IEP to see what they recommend.

I completely understand that there are parents who are overprotective to a fault, but I don't think we are among them. It's one thing to teach a child that he may have an occasional conflict with someone and needs to learn how to cope, and quite another to expect him to endure repeated and systematic abuse from peers and/or authority figures. Not to mention the simple fact that people need to be held accountable for their actions. The actions of the bullies are not OK, and they shouldn't be allowed to get away with this behavior as if my son doesn't matter. Honestly, if at 10 years old they are physically injuring and sexually harassing special-needs kids, what will they be doing at age 17 or 18? Hopefully our family will have moved out of the area by then and won't have to find out! :(

It won't work since you've misunderstood the situation. It's judt that when people get offended, they retaliate. Your son probably misunderstood something and it came to this. I can't help everyone with this knowledge yet but I'll do my best. I used to be bullied. And the bullies told the teachers that I was bullying them. I thought they were lying but years after, I discovered they were not. They instead saw me as the alpha male all along. And still do. And here I thought natural leader selection sucked. They were always doing SO MUCH for me but I didn't even notice. They were also willing to let me punch an older student and hold him down if he retaliated. I didn't and it was kind of cruel but they were just trying to impress me. Now I'm the kind of guy random males add on facebook and recognize in real life. Females are also somewhat attracted but that's instinctive. May not even be because I'm an alpha. It may be that I'm something else as well. So anyway, I did often beat up my classmates when I misunderstood their jokes but they kept going so it didn't help. I started misunderstanding after I was diagnosed with aspergers and started taking concerta and what not. Humans are as they're supposed to, pills are not the solution. So I suggest your child talk about it to their bullies, explain and apologize. And you'll see that I'm right. If not, tell me. I'm open-minded like that. Although I've really seen a lot of this. Note that not everyone is an alpha. I've only met two other alpha females. And one otjer alpha male. We're as old as time in all cases.


There is nothing in what jag96 wrote to suggest that your experience is in any way like that described in the OP.

To ask a child to apologize to bullies on the basis of your account is irrational and would be abusive except in the unlikely circumstance that the child's experience exactly matches your history and the clear evidence of abuse the parent has seen is somehow misleading.

Your suggestion seems really terrible, given the information we have.



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23 Feb 2014, 3:14 pm

Jag, I had a nice long response that got eaten by my computer, so I'll try again.

This is not acceptable playground stuff, it's real abuse perpetrated by people put in responsibility over children. The principal's assumption about your son's bruise being caused by a fall on the floor... what is his evidence? Your son was the witness, not the principal. Everything they say needs to be backed up with evidence. What was their evidence or basis to remove the IEP? Did your son graduate from ASD? I can see reducing it gradually to see if he no longer needs something, but not removing everything. At this point they have to put it all back and add some protection or monitoring of the children and adults around him..

They don't want to give your son the assistance he needs to function. In that case, the county is responsible to bus your child to a school that will. It sounds like that would have to be a mainstream school with adults who are able to follow an IEP.

Please let us know how it goes.



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23 Feb 2014, 5:18 pm

Adamantium wrote:
This seems relevant:
http://www.isbe.state.il.us/pdf/anti-bu ... es0711.pdf

It would appear that an attempt was made to introduce more effective anti-bullying legislation, but that this failed. It seems a number of Illinois State Senators are pro-bullying (thinking this is probably the religious right hoping to protect the right to bully homosexuals, either that or there is something in the water in the Illinois Senate chambers.)

The House passed the bill:
http://www.sj-r.com/x586831428/Illinois ... llying-law

The Senate did not:
http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/BillSta ... =&Session=

The senators voting No should be held accountable.

The bad thing about a process like this is that everyone gets to claim they tried, but "the system" let them down.

Given the very weak anti-bullying laws in Illinois, I would look for expert help with this and consider home schooling.


Used to live in IL but in CA for over 30 years now but seem to remember the various law enforcement agencies used to try to hire 100% bullies; has this not changed? Sounds like maybe not.



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24 Feb 2014, 11:36 am

Just seeing your post - sent a PM, so sorry this is happening to you. Our current school is much better than our past one, and they actually offered this collection of resources WITH OUR IEP! Get on the phone and start calling them - if you can't afford one, ask them to refer you to someone who is free or who you CAN afford.

We had a problem with bullying in my son's elementary school (not to the degree that you're experiencing) and they gave us a lot of the same excuses. We started an email chain for every incident, and copied the teacher, social worker, principal, and went up the chain through the District. Make sure you send a copy of the photo. Explain that your child has a social disability and needs support in understanding how to handle altercations, so if he retaliates, it is ALSO the school's responsibility to help him learn.

Plus, sounds to me like you've got a kid on a 504 who really needs an IEP: he needs to learn social cues and social skills, and that falls under special education - he needs a plan with goals (grades) so you can track his learning just like any other subject. Don't let the school tell you any different: a 504 is appropriate if your child's needs are static and should be accommodated for life, or until they spontaneously resolve - it's not appropriate if your child needs to learn something.

Feel free to reach out to me via PM, I may have other resources I can connect you with.

Illinois Life Span 1-800-588-7002 www.illinoislifespan.org (scroll down to the bottom of the page, look for "Advocacy Services" and click "search for Advocacy Service provider" select "Special Education Information/Advocacy from the list and select your county (most of us in the Chicago area and near suburbs are in Cook County)

Illinois Network of Independent Living Center 217/525-1308 www.incil.org/locations.asp Select your county from the drop-down menu - your local center may have a youth advocate that can attend an IEP meeting.

Equip for Equality www.equipforequality.org in the Chicago area call 312-341-0002 (they offer free legal advice regarding disability law)

James B Moran Center http://moran-center.org.­ phone: (847) 492-1410 (also offers legal support and advice)

Parent Education Partnership www.pepartnerhsip.org/staff/mentors.html­ 8-877-317-2733

The Attorney General has guidelines for choosing an advocate here: www.isbe.net/spec-ed/pdfs/lay_advocate_g­uideline.pdf

For those of you following this thread - your state board of education may well have advocacy resources. Google "Special Education Advocacy" and plug in the name of your state. I'm guessing you could do this outside of the US as well; look for advocates in whatever form of government you have that's larger than your town or city but smaller than your country (depending, of course, on the size of your country.)



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24 Feb 2014, 12:17 pm

Great post, Momsparky. I wish there was a like button similar to facebook.



jag96
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24 Feb 2014, 12:50 pm

aann wrote:
Jag, I had a nice long response that got eaten by my computer, so I'll try again.

This is not acceptable playground stuff, it's real abuse perpetrated by people put in responsibility over children. The principal's assumption about your son's bruise being caused by a fall on the floor... what is his evidence? Your son was the witness, not the principal. Everything they say needs to be backed up with evidence. What was their evidence or basis to remove the IEP? Did your son graduate from ASD? I can see reducing it gradually to see if he no longer needs something, but not removing everything. At this point they have to put it all back and add some protection or monitoring of the children and adults around him..

They don't want to give your son the assistance he needs to function. In that case, the county is responsible to bus your child to a school that will. It sounds like that would have to be a mainstream school with adults who are able to follow an IEP.

Please let us know how it goes.



The principal's "evidence" for his statement was simply the fact that DS has occasionally tripped over his feet, especially when running, and fallen. However, he almost always succeeds in catching himself and has never incurred any injuries from this. The bruise on his forearm was entirely consistent with what you would expect to see in the situation DS described: he was knocked down, put his arms up to shield himself, and received a hard blow (in this case, a kick) to his forearm, a few inches below his wrist and extending to the inside of his elbow. I suspect the altercation took place in the absence of staff supervision, and naturally the school is taking a "CYA" approach and trying to avoid incriminating themselves. We are definitely going to bring up the school nurse's comment (about not being able to watch the kids all the time) during our upcoming meeting with the superintendent.
In addition, the principal likes to bring up the fact that there are surveillance cameras installed at various points around the school, and has stated in response to past complaints about bullying incidents that "we didn't see anything on the tapes." However, it appears that these tapes are (conveniently, for the school!) recycled every couple of days. We were told that there was no available footage of the day DS's injury happened, because the tapes for that day had been recycled already. It really makes me wonder what would happen if any of the surveillance footage was ever subpoenaed for a court case!
As far as removing his IEP services, the line of reasoning is that he supposedly is doing so well that he no longer needs them, but we have reason to think that the REAL story has to do with budget issues (which they can't admit, because they know that to withhold services due to budget constraints is a violation of IDEA), as well as the fact that they resent us for questioning their decisions and advocating for DS. He is still struggling with both fine and gross motor skills, for example, and less than a week after they discontinued his aide (because he "has made SOOO much progress and doesn't need the aide anymore!"), the local newspaper ran a story about the latest school board meeting, in which it mentioned that one of the subjects discussed was the fact that the school was cutting funding for special education for the upcoming school year. When I read that, it made me wonder if the IEP team's recommendations might not be trustworthy, and what we have seen during this school year confirms my fears.



jag96
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24 Feb 2014, 12:55 pm

momsparky wrote:
Just seeing your post - sent a PM, so sorry this is happening to you. Our current school is much better than our past one, and they actually offered this collection of resources WITH OUR IEP! Get on the phone and start calling them - if you can't afford one, ask them to refer you to someone who is free or who you CAN afford.

We had a problem with bullying in my son's elementary school (not to the degree that you're experiencing) and they gave us a lot of the same excuses. We started an email chain for every incident, and copied the teacher, social worker, principal, and went up the chain through the District. Make sure you send a copy of the photo. Explain that your child has a social disability and needs support in understanding how to handle altercations, so if he retaliates, it is ALSO the school's responsibility to help him learn.

Plus, sounds to me like you've got a kid on a 504 who really needs an IEP: he needs to learn social cues and social skills, and that falls under special education - he needs a plan with goals (grades) so you can track his learning just like any other subject. Don't let the school tell you any different: a 504 is appropriate if your child's needs are static and should be accommodated for life, or until they spontaneously resolve - it's not appropriate if your child needs to learn something.

Feel free to reach out to me via PM, I may have other resources I can connect you with.

Illinois Life Span 1-800-588-7002 www.illinoislifespan.org (scroll down to the bottom of the page, look for "Advocacy Services" and click "search for Advocacy Service provider" select "Special Education Information/Advocacy from the list and select your county (most of us in the Chicago area and near suburbs are in Cook County)

Illinois Network of Independent Living Center 217/525-1308 www.incil.org/locations.asp Select your county from the drop-down menu - your local center may have a youth advocate that can attend an IEP meeting.

Equip for Equality www.equipforequality.org in the Chicago area call 312-341-0002 (they offer free legal advice regarding disability law)

James B Moran Center http://moran-center.org.­ phone: (847) 492-1410 (also offers legal support and advice)

Parent Education Partnership www.pepartnerhsip.org/staff/mentors.html­ 8-877-317-2733

The Attorney General has guidelines for choosing an advocate here: www.isbe.net/spec-ed/pdfs/lay_advocate_g­uideline.pdf

For those of you following this thread - your state board of education may well have advocacy resources. Google "Special Education Advocacy" and plug in the name of your state. I'm guessing you could do this outside of the US as well; look for advocates in whatever form of government you have that's larger than your town or city but smaller than your country (depending, of course, on the size of your country.)


Thanks so much for the links, momsparky! I'll definitely check these out! :)



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24 Feb 2014, 2:14 pm

Forgot one! A friend just posted this article on bullying and SPED kids, hope it helps: http://www.abilitypath.org/areas-of-dev ... -shoes.pdf



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24 Feb 2014, 2:51 pm

jag96 wrote:
However, it appears that these tapes are (conveniently, for the school!) recycled every couple of days. We were told that there was no available footage of the day DS's injury happened, because the tapes for that day had been recycled already. It really makes me wonder what would happen if any of the surveillance footage was ever subpoenaed for a court case!


I wonder what would happen if you sent a certified [bl]etter[/b] requesting that they not recycle any tapes regarding incidents your son brings to their attention with 24 hours of having happened or something like that. I am sure it could backfire if they keep tapes of him breaking rules, instead, but it might be worth it.

jag96 wrote:
As far as removing his IEP services, the line of reasoning is that he supposedly is doing so well that he no longer needs them, but we have reason to think that the REAL story has to do with budget issues (which they can't admit, because they know that to withhold services due to budget constraints is a violation of IDEA), as well as the fact that they resent us for questioning their decisions and advocating for DS. He is still struggling with both fine and gross motor skills, for example, and less than a week after they discontinued his aide (because he "has made SOOO much progress and doesn't need the aide anymore!"), the local newspaper ran a story about the latest school board meeting, in which it mentioned that one of the subjects discussed was the fact that the school was cutting funding for special education for the upcoming school year. When I read that, it made me wonder if the IEP team's recommendations might not be trustworthy, and what we have seen during this school year confirms my fears.


Ding, ding ding! I am sure that is what that is. Whenever they tried to reduce anything that was in his IEP I told them I wanted to see the testing that substantiate the reduction. They didn't want to pay for the tests, so I refused to sign on, and magically the issue would go away.

Edited to fix the darn quote brackets again.



Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 25 Feb 2014, 4:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

Erwin
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24 Feb 2014, 10:47 pm

Adamantium wrote:
Erwin wrote:
jag96 wrote:
I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to my post. We sent a letter to the school superintendent and now have a meeting with him scheduled for next week, so we'll see how that goes. We are also having three different people (a disability advocate, the head of the Center for Autism at the local university where DS was diagnosed, and DS's behavioral therapist) review his file and IEP to see what they recommend.

I completely understand that there are parents who are overprotective to a fault, but I don't think we are among them. It's one thing to teach a child that he may have an occasional conflict with someone and needs to learn how to cope, and quite another to expect him to endure repeated and systematic abuse from peers and/or authority figures. Not to mention the simple fact that people need to be held accountable for their actions. The actions of the bullies are not OK, and they shouldn't be allowed to get away with this behavior as if my son doesn't matter. Honestly, if at 10 years old they are physically injuring and sexually harassing special-needs kids, what will they be doing at age 17 or 18? Hopefully our family will have moved out of the area by then and won't have to find out! :(

It won't work since you've misunderstood the situation. It's judt that when people get offended, they retaliate. Your son probably misunderstood something and it came to this. I can't help everyone with this knowledge yet but I'll do my best. I used to be bullied. And the bullies told the teachers that I was bullying them. I thought they were lying but years after, I discovered they were not. They instead saw me as the alpha male all along. And still do. And here I thought natural leader selection sucked. They were always doing SO MUCH for me but I didn't even notice. They were also willing to let me punch an older student and hold him down if he retaliated. I didn't and it was kind of cruel but they were just trying to impress me. Now I'm the kind of guy random males add on facebook and recognize in real life. Females are also somewhat attracted but that's instinctive. May not even be because I'm an alpha. It may be that I'm something else as well. So anyway, I did often beat up my classmates when I misunderstood their jokes but they kept going so it didn't help. I started misunderstanding after I was diagnosed with aspergers and started taking concerta and what not. Humans are as they're supposed to, pills are not the solution. So I suggest your child talk about it to their bullies, explain and apologize. And you'll see that I'm right. If not, tell me. I'm open-minded like that. Although I've really seen a lot of this. Note that not everyone is an alpha. I've only met two other alpha females. And one otjer alpha male. We're as old as time in all cases.


There is nothing in what jag96 wrote to suggest that your experience is in any way like that described in the OP.

To ask a child to apologize to bullies on the basis of your account is irrational and would be abusive except in the unlikely circumstance that the child's experience exactly matches your history and the clear evidence of abuse the parent has seen is somehow misleading.

Your suggestion seems really terrible, given the information we have.

Give it a chance. It won't hurt using this logic. The son will know if he's an alpha or not. You can kind of feel truth. Whichever feels more right.



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25 Feb 2014, 5:01 am

Erwin wrote:
Adamantium wrote:
Erwin wrote:
jag96 wrote:
I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to my post. We sent a letter to the school superintendent and now have a meeting with him scheduled for next week, so we'll see how that goes. We are also having three different people (a disability advocate, the head of the Center for Autism at the local university where DS was diagnosed, and DS's behavioral therapist) review his file and IEP to see what they recommend.

I completely understand that there are parents who are overprotective to a fault, but I don't think we are among them. It's one thing to teach a child that he may have an occasional conflict with someone and needs to learn how to cope, and quite another to expect him to endure repeated and systematic abuse from peers and/or authority figures. Not to mention the simple fact that people need to be held accountable for their actions. The actions of the bullies are not OK, and they shouldn't be allowed to get away with this behavior as if my son doesn't matter. Honestly, if at 10 years old they are physically injuring and sexually harassing special-needs kids, what will they be doing at age 17 or 18? Hopefully our family will have moved out of the area by then and won't have to find out! :(

It won't work since you've misunderstood the situation. It's judt that when people get offended, they retaliate. Your son probably misunderstood something and it came to this. I can't help everyone with this knowledge yet but I'll do my best. I used to be bullied. And the bullies told the teachers that I was bullying them. I thought they were lying but years after, I discovered they were not. They instead saw me as the alpha male all along. And still do. And here I thought natural leader selection sucked. They were always doing SO MUCH for me but I didn't even notice. They were also willing to let me punch an older student and hold him down if he retaliated. I didn't and it was kind of cruel but they were just trying to impress me. Now I'm the kind of guy random males add on facebook and recognize in real life. Females are also somewhat attracted but that's instinctive. May not even be because I'm an alpha. It may be that I'm something else as well. So anyway, I did often beat up my classmates when I misunderstood their jokes but they kept going so it didn't help. I started misunderstanding after I was diagnosed with aspergers and started taking concerta and what not. Humans are as they're supposed to, pills are not the solution. So I suggest your child talk about it to their bullies, explain and apologize. And you'll see that I'm right. If not, tell me. I'm open-minded like that. Although I've really seen a lot of this. Note that not everyone is an alpha. I've only met two other alpha females. And one otjer alpha male. We're as old as time in all cases.


There is nothing in what jag96 wrote to suggest that your experience is in any way like that described in the OP.

To ask a child to apologize to bullies on the basis of your account is irrational and would be abusive except in the unlikely circumstance that the child's experience exactly matches your history and the clear evidence of abuse the parent has seen is somehow misleading.

Your suggestion seems really terrible, given the information we have.

Give it a chance. It won't hurt using this logic. The son will know if he's an alpha or not. You can kind of feel truth. Whichever feels more right.


It will make him think his parents are crazy and unempathetic if they tell him to apologize to his tormenters. This would do a lot of harm, and is a terrible idea. He needs to trust that his parents have his back. Your idea is statistically unlikely based on all the data we have. It is not worth eroding parental trust to try it.



Erwin
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06 Apr 2014, 12:25 am

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
Erwin wrote:
Adamantium wrote:
Erwin wrote:
jag96 wrote:
I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to my post. We sent a letter to the school superintendent and now have a meeting with him scheduled for next week, so we'll see how that goes. We are also having three different people (a disability advocate, the head of the Center for Autism at the local university where DS was diagnosed, and DS's behavioral therapist) review his file and IEP to see what they recommend.

I completely understand that there are parents who are overprotective to a fault, but I don't think we are among them. It's one thing to teach a child that he may have an occasional conflict with someone and needs to learn how to cope, and quite another to expect him to endure repeated and systematic abuse from peers and/or authority figures. Not to mention the simple fact that people need to be held accountable for their actions. The actions of the bullies are not OK, and they shouldn't be allowed to get away with this behavior as if my son doesn't matter. Honestly, if at 10 years old they are physically injuring and sexually harassing special-needs kids, what will they be doing at age 17 or 18? Hopefully our family will have moved out of the area by then and won't have to find out! :(

It won't work since you've misunderstood the situation. It's judt that when people get offended, they retaliate. Your son probably misunderstood something and it came to this. I can't help everyone with this knowledge yet but I'll do my best. I used to be bullied. And the bullies told the teachers that I was bullying them. I thought they were lying but years after, I discovered they were not. They instead saw me as the alpha male all along. And still do. And here I thought natural leader selection sucked. They were always doing SO MUCH for me but I didn't even notice. They were also willing to let me punch an older student and hold him down if he retaliated. I didn't and it was kind of cruel but they were just trying to impress me. Now I'm the kind of guy random males add on facebook and recognize in real life. Females are also somewhat attracted but that's instinctive. May not even be because I'm an alpha. It may be that I'm something else as well. So anyway, I did often beat up my classmates when I misunderstood their jokes but they kept going so it didn't help. I started misunderstanding after I was diagnosed with aspergers and started taking concerta and what not. Humans are as they're supposed to, pills are not the solution. So I suggest your child talk about it to their bullies, explain and apologize. And you'll see that I'm right. If not, tell me. I'm open-minded like that. Although I've really seen a lot of this. Note that not everyone is an alpha. I've only met two other alpha females. And one otjer alpha male. We're as old as time in all cases.


There is nothing in what jag96 wrote to suggest that your experience is in any way like that described in the OP.

To ask a child to apologize to bullies on the basis of your account is irrational and would be abusive except in the unlikely circumstance that the child's experience exactly matches your history and the clear evidence of abuse the parent has seen is somehow misleading.

Your suggestion seems really terrible, given the information we have.

Give it a chance. It won't hurt using this logic. The son will know if he's an alpha or not. You can kind of feel truth. Whichever feels more right.


It will make him think his parents are crazy and unempathetic if they tell him to apologize to his tormenters. This would do a lot of harm, and is a terrible idea. He needs to trust that his parents have his back. Your idea is statistically unlikely based on all the data we have. It is not worth eroding parental trust to try it.

They will of course TELL HIM why he should do it and treat it only as a suggestion. Even if he's not an alpha, this is hoe bullying works.