Anxiety Help Please

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Dear All,
I wonder if anyone can offer me some advice? My son age 7 1/2 was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder about a year ago. He has autism diagnosed 4 years ago. He is very verbal. He is really struggling at the moment to go out of the house. He says he feels scared and worried all of the time but he can't tell me why. He is crying a lot too. He is having the same problems at school. I really want to help him feel better. I have tried psychology with him and it doesn't seem to help if anything it seems to make things worse. Any advice you can offer would be very much appreciated.

Thank you.

Hi Dexter, I'm following this post. My kid doesn't have severe anxiety disorder but his anxiety level can skyrocket during certain periods. I'm trying to find someone who teaches non-directive meditation or mindfulness for kids as we speak. There are a lot of quacks in that field, so I'm looking for someone who is really good. Cognitive therapy is still the norm for anxiety, negative thoughts and catastrophal thinking, (besides medication) but research has showed that mindfulness is much more effective, since it basically focuses on learning to observe your thoughts without engaging. Classic therapy usually focuses on negating the thoughts, or countering them with rational thoughts. Some people argue that this puts even more emphasis on the thoughts, and therefore is far less efficient.

I kinda agree. I've been through a lot of therapy myself.
Now, I have a Zen monk as a therapist (really), and this is the first person who has helped me 'manage' my own head. I use the ' ' marks because it really is the opposite. It's hard practice, but I've managed to progress a lot. My thoughts (and therefor fears and anxiety) are still there, and that's fine, but at least I can see them and let them be without being devastated.
I think it's worth investigating.

I agree, distracting is often more helpful than countering what someone is afraid of. Especially for kids. Can he let you calmly tell him what will happen and keep him focused on moving through things? Maybe starting very small, even a trip to the yard or neighbors house, but keeping things small, calm, and upbeat?

Thanks for the replies. I have been looking at Cognitive behaviour therapy to. I've tried bowen therapy which does seem to help a little. I think it is difficult as he is still so young.
I am trying to get him to tell me what is worrying him but, unfortunately he doesn't know.
I did manage to get him to go out and have a snowball fight with me and his sister this morning! So perhaps small bits is the way.
His mood is awful today. started off quite well but apparently there has been an incident at school so he's now stressed again. He's in his room alone with his ipad. Missing him

I feel you. I know the feeling of 'missing' your kid when he withdraws, but remember; what he's doing isn't withdrawing from you, he's taking care of himself. Which is great. That's what you're working at: him recognizing his anxiety and taking measures to turn the anxiety down. Whether it's playing iPad games (which is basically stepping into a world he can truly control) or lining up Lego figurines, it's self care.

Figuring out what exactly is bothering him is hard. Give it time, and keep helping him to verbalize or identify the stress factors. One step at a time. Most adults can't even do that. And don't feel anxious yourself about asking the teachers what happened. Explain to them you want to teach him to identify stress factors, but he needs help for now. It's the teachers job to inform you. A separate 'agenda' might help, like the ones they use in daycare centers. Or just email. It's nothing more but an information channel, and it works both ways. A good teacher welcomes those things .

Thank. Very sound advice. I'll keep trying with him to identify the reasons behind his feelings and maybe as he gets older he will manage to cope a bit better. I'm sorry to hear you are having the same difficulties. It is heart breaking when your little one gets no pleasure from activities and instead it distresses them. I do remember someone once told me that as long as he is happy does it matter if he doesn't go out and do things? I'm starting to think they may be right. It is difficult as we have another child who wants to do things which means every weekend we have to split up our little family. I hope you find someone to help your little one.

I have recently started mindfulness training as an adult and am finding it useful so would agree with the OP who suggested it might help. It is difficult also in my experience to separate ones own feelings from that of ones child - a good day being a day when they are ok a bad day being one when they are not I think we all sense this but being a barometer in tune entirely with ones child can have a downside it burdens the child with responsibility for your feelings as well as their own I did this to an extent with my eldest who eventually pretended to be fine to avoid my reactive anxiety sadness I have had to learn to separate a little to be able to better help her
I am sorry you are missing him o know that feeling when your instinct is saying cuddle and talk ( which might help a NT child) but their need is for quiet and space to process it is a hard one
I wish you well
Ajk mother to four children two NT two others one AS one PDD nos or AS depending on the assessor

Freeing your child from anxiety (can't remember the author at the moment!) is a fantastic book for parents to help them understand their child's anxiety and how to use cognitive-behavioral strategies to teach them to gain control over it with support from parents.

I don't know if this will help but my 6 year old and I have been working a lot on her breathing. We also try doing specific stims when she gets anxious (walk heel to toes instead of toe to heel would be an example). Her anxiety is usually about realistic things such as car accidents, bad grades, people not understanding her.... The breathing helps IF I am there to help her. The stiming helps sometimes. We haven't really figured out a way to help her at school but with practice I hope she will someday just do her techniques on her own. It breaks my heart though to see her get so anxious.