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Angel_UK1
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23 Mar 2007, 2:36 pm

I too understand how you feel. My son was diagnosed last week with asperger's, o.d.d and a.d.d his teacher and headmistress are very involved on a day to day level. His teacher recently told him that the other children in his class no longer want him in the class cos he is badly behaved, and his headteacher rang me up to inform me that i have a very disturbed little boy on my hands. She was not quite happy with my response but hey like i care for her opinion my interest and concern is my son not her. I basically told her who the hell are you to refer to my son in that manner and since when were you qualified to make such an assumption I did not actually get an answer from her lmao. But at least she now knows the score and in fairness she does try her hardest to help me to get him the right help things have turned around since our conversation. Ryan now has a behavioural therapist in school, 1 to 1 on mondays, mental health nurse on fridays working on his anxiety issues, and he attends a unit for children who have been excluded or who are close to exclusion.
Now all i need is for the dim witted head physc to get her head together. She came allegedly to see my son on the 14th march but oh no she came to discuss methods of coping with ryan within the school she introduced herself to us but refused to even see my son at this point. She is coming back in april and i think i am gonna have to tell her to stop making suggestions on what would help my son when she has not even seen him nor observed him.
The whole process is so damned frustrating i could scream sometimes,lol.



Corsarzs
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25 Mar 2007, 7:35 am

KimJ wrote:
This is a flaw with social hierarchy. Adults think that it's proper to instruct/tell kids how to act without modelling that behavior.

This may be controversial but when my son's teacher behaved in a rotten manner, I explained it to my son, "See, what he did was wrong, we don't do that". Quite the opposite of what MY parents taught, "If your teacher said, it's probably right, she's the teacher". :evil:


Why should this be controversial? If we won't allow our kids to misbehave why should we tolerate it in others? Of course our problem is teaching them tact, hmmm, come to think of it I've never had much of that either.


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SpaceCase
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25 Mar 2007, 9:38 pm

I remember how the teachers would lie to my mom about me,and then tell me that I couldn't play with the other kids.

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KimJ
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25 Mar 2007, 10:07 pm

:D Corsarzs :D Well, I think it's a common agreement among authoritarians that it's okay to overlook poor behavior among other grownups, as long as it's the kids' fault. That is, a grown up can yell, scold, cuss in the course of "disciplining" a child. For instance, a yelling teacher may scare an NT kid into complacency, quiet, shame, etc. So, it's just accepted.
However, that tactic doesn't work with my son, who will mimic the worst behaved or loudest person in the room. So, if the teacher grabs and threatens, shouts, annoys, my son will too. NT's have a hard time understanding why my son does that-they have a huge disconnect between their behavior and an autistic child's perception of that.



Corsarzs
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26 Mar 2007, 6:41 am

[quote="KimJ"]:D Corsarzs :D Well, I think it's a common agreement among authoritarians that it's okay to overlook poor behavior among other grownups, [/quot

Unfortunately you are right, Kimj, I think part of my frustration dealing with the education system is that I not only have to teach myself about Z's needs but I have to help him figure out how to maintain conyrol of himself and then have to educate the educators when they say "Oh, we know how to work with him," when thay don't have a clue about what is really going on. I do a slow burn when one of these snot nosed mid twenties teachers treat mike like a backwoods child who has never seen a flush toilet.
I have am a few hours from a duoble masters degree, I'll never see it, but I am far from ignorant.

As I read these posts and get to know the people here I see so much of what we went through with Z and I know more kids like ours are coming down the pike. I feel the victories we win, hiowever small, may help some child and his family down the line.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that as we find the flaws in the way others treat our kids we haver the responsibility to kick some education tailsl so those bad practices are changed. Hadn't intended to ramble, thanks for listening everybody.


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Space
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26 Mar 2007, 8:50 pm

I hated many public school teachers. Don't get me wrong, there are some good teachers out there who care about the kids, and want to understand kids with AS or other problems, but they are few and far between. But that's like most of the general population I think too. There are possibly more teachers in college/university who are more sensitive to students with problems like this, and realize that all students are different. The education system is usually at least 5 years or more behind the rest of the world, so don't expect all teachers to be educated on autism or AS for awhile, but there are more and more slowly learning, particularly the ones who care enough to learn about it.



KimJ
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26 Mar 2007, 10:07 pm

Frankly, I'm getting tired of hearing "we haven't dealt with this before" "we haven't had an autistic child in our school" "this is new"
Not it's not. Before, kids weren't getting diagnosed, they were still there. Before, kids were kicked out of school. Before, kids were institutionalized. Before, classes were smaller and less stimulating to a sensitive kid.
The last school had the audacity to try and transfer my son to another school, then later claim they just didn't have any experience with autistic kids. Of course, if you are getting rid of them at that rate. :x



solid
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27 Mar 2007, 5:55 am

Yeah, i had them kind of problems. This teacher who i hated made asomptions like my mum wasn't feeding me properly and that i didn't have aspergers but i had adh, lol. I'd love to go back to primary school and give her a piece of my mind


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Corsarzs
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27 Mar 2007, 7:35 pm

KimJ wrote:
Frankly, I'm getting tired of hearing "we haven't dealt with this before" "we haven't had an autistic child in our school" "this is new"
Not it's not. Before, kids weren't getting diagnosed, they were still there. Before, kids were kicked out of school. Before, kids were institutionalized. Before, classes were smaller and less stimulating to a sensitive kid.
The last school had the audacity to try and transfer my son to another school, then later claim they just didn't have any experience with autistic kids. Of course, if you are getting rid of them at that rate. :x


Thank you Kimj. How many kids were lost? How will many more will be? Let's make sure ours aren't!


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