Introduction.. Twins on the spectrum?

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TwinMom815
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04 Mar 2016, 4:53 pm

I have twins that are almost 3. My son was evaluated at 18 Months and was determined to be "at risk" for autism. I was given the option of giving him a preliminary diagnoses and start getting services for him. I chose not to, I wanted to wait and give him more time. Now that seems like it was the wrong decision, but it's the decision I made. Now that he's almost 3 he's being evaluated again next week. We've moved to the opposite side of the country since the last one so we're with all new doctors and specialists now. He's not really verbal, he says only a couple words, he knows all his letter and numbers, he's obsessed with them actually. That's his main interest. He's known them all since before he was 2 but is still fixated on them. He could eat all day long but is VERY small for his age, not even on the chart, I think because he's constantly running or jumping. He has no sense of danger and will run away from me without looking back no matter where we are. We live on 10 acres and he doesn't get outside very much because he will just take off running and then I can't watch his sister if I'm chasing him. He destroys everything, he LOVES books but then will just start ripping them up. He's ripped the stuffing out of his sisters stuffed animals. His eye contact is very poor. He's not potty trained and I think that's a long ways off. Before we moved he was getting ABA therapy 3 times a week, but it only lasted about 4 months before we moved. He's a handful, I feel in over my head with him quite often. I dread family get togethers or other social events. I can't "control him" and I get embarrassed. I don't like a lot of attention on me and I feel like we get stared at or people will make comments about his behavior and I don't know how to handle it. I know I need to get over it, for his sake but that's just where I am right now.

Now, his twin sister, my daughter. Has never been evaluated for autism but she is going to be next month. Their new pediatrician thought she should be and I was kind of surprised by that. They are both delayed and we just started going down the path to get them services through the county and one of them said something about her showing signs. I'm kind of having a hard time with that. Maybe I've just had more time to see that my son has autism. He hasn't been officially diagnosed yet but I know it's coming. Not much has changed since he was at 18 months but my daughter doesn't have many of the behaviors my son does. She is delayed in her speech but she's a little chatter box, you just cant understand all of it. She's not potty trained yet but she shows interest and I think she will be soon. Eye contact isn't an issue. She has a variety of interests, she has a good imagination. I'm just not sure what they're seeing. Behaviorally, she does have some issues with listening but I feel like that's normal for her age.

I'm curious if anyone has had more children after one being diagnosed, I mean I'm sure there have, but I'm looking for advice on that. I wanted a big family, but I've had my hands FULL the last 3 years and I'd really like another child but I have no idea what the future looks like for the 2 I already have. I just don't know, it's something I think about a lot.

So, there's my very long introduction. :D



pddtwinmom
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04 Mar 2016, 8:25 pm

Hi! I have twin fraternal boys on the spectrum and I, too, was surprised when the less affected twin was brought up as a concern. What are your specific questions? Are you worried about having more children?



Ettina
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05 Mar 2016, 11:45 pm

TwinMom815 wrote:
Now that seems like it was the wrong decision, but it's the decision I made.


Don't feel too bad about that decision. The research only really shows a benefit from early intervention if the age gap is 4 or more years between the early and late intervention groups. So waiting only a year and a half doesn't seem to have a measurable impact on a child's response to intervention.



triplemoon18
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28 Mar 2016, 2:26 pm

I have 15 year old twin girls and only one of them is diagnosed AS. Reading about your description about your son and daughter sounded so much like my girls at age 3 - my AS daughter never learned to say much until she was 3 years old and going to nursery school. She used to run off all of the time too, either into people's backyards, the street or in malls. Her sister was a chatterbox and used to answer for her twin. My girls were a real handful then too, as all sets of twins are. Just wait and see what the assessments show, as your twins will get easier as they get older, no matter who has autism or not.