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My Teen Aspie: trying so hard to fit in, dating....help

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DW_a_mom
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24 May 2015, 5:57 pm

To prevent any confusion:

THERE IS NO POINT IN REPLYING SPECIFICALLY TO THE OP

This thread is 8 years old.

General topics for discussion, of course, never age.

My son figured out pretty quickly that he wasn't really ready for dating, and found a group of friends he could fit into without pressure on that end. He did date, because girls asked him out, but he kept it platonic because he could never figure out the signs, and he had been well warned not to assume that his feelings were hers. Even with him telling them, "you have to tell me what you want," they couldn't seem to find the inspiration to take that step. And its OK; he has female friends (tons, as a matter of fact, being a Drama kid, one of the few males in a sea of girls) and is really comfortable in his own skin. He went to prom with a friend from the Drama group and is enjoying all the normal high school things, for the most part. I would go so far to say he is pretty socially aware for an ASD youth, and knows not to force things he isn't all that ready for. Someday it will happen. When he is ready. When it is supposed to.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


the-comander
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24 May 2015, 5:59 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
To prevent any confusion:

THERE IS NO POINT IN REPLYING SPECIFICALLY TO THE OP

This thread is 8 years old.

General topics for discussion, of course, never age.

My son figured out pretty quickly that he wasn't really ready for dating, and found a group of friends he could fit into without pressure on that end. He did date, because girls asked him out, but he kept it platonic because he could never figure out the signs, and he had been well warned not to assume that his feelings were hers. Even with him telling them, "you have to tell me what you want," they couldn't seem to find the inspiration to take that step. And its OK; he has female friends (tons, as a matter of fact, being a Drama kid, one of the few males in a sea of girls) and is really comfortable in his own skin. He went to prom with a friend from the Drama group and is enjoying all the normal high school things, for the most part. I would go so far to say he is pretty socially aware for an ASD youth, and knows not to force things he isn't all that ready for. Someday it will happen. When he is ready. When it is supposed to.

okay
sorry for harassing you.












you know there is the possibility he is gay.



DW_a_mom
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24 May 2015, 8:36 pm

the-comander wrote:
okay
sorry for harassing you.














you know there is the possibility he is gay.


You don't have to feel you were harassing me; I've noticed that usually people, including the person who pulled up the old thread, are simply confused by them and unaware of the dates. It saves everyone time if that gets pointed out as promptly as possible.

On your last ... true, but I don't think so. Or, if so, not aware of it yet. But, no, nothing to indicate it, and we're very open about such things in our family.


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the-comander
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24 May 2015, 8:47 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
the-comander wrote:
okay
sorry for harassing you.














you know there is the possibility he is gay.


You don't have to feel you were harassing me; I've noticed that usually people, including the person who pulled up the old thread, are simply confused by them and unaware of the dates. It saves everyone time if that gets pointed out as promptly as possible.

On your last ... true, but I don't think so. Or, if so, not aware of it yet. But, no, nothing to indicate it, and we're very open about such things in our family.

okay.
i mean he could very well just be really really really akward. its just worth considering.