I suspect my 19 months daughter has Autism

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everyone. I am new to this in all senses. I suspect my daughter who is 19 months old might have Autism. I noticed some weird behaviors all along, but she is my first so I didn't know what to expect. What prompted me to search online was the strange greetings she uses when she sees a stranger in the street. She would walk to them and take a bow, then walk even closer and repeat the bow. At first I thought that was cute but today it stroke me as weird or inappropriate. Then I read online that by this age she should point. She never points. I freaked out. Someone was asking on a forum, if the kid does not point, how does they communicate to you what they want?. I remained perplexed. My daughter never communicates to me what she wants. I am guessing when she wants water or a toy. I am always guessing. The only thing she does show me that she wants is when she wants to breastfeed. She tries lifting my blouse and sometimes says tzitzi (In my language that is the word for breasts). And I fear she is regressing, too. She used to say tzitzi more often, now rarely. And if you waved goodbye she would imitate, not anymore. I am honestly very scared. Can you guide me a bit as in what I should look for to know for sure and what I should do about it? Thank you.

I’ve just done a little looking for information online, as far as I can gather:
• It’s not possible to diagnose autism in children that young.
• There are indications of the possibility and several of the things you’ve mentioned are in that list*: but they’re not completely reliable.
• In the UK it is possible to get a provisional diagnosis from age 2 (it has to be confirmed by reassessment at an older age).

Maybe talk to your doctor and find out if you have similar set-up in Romania?


__________________________
*The NHS lists of most common indications for young children and older children are here.

She’s 19 months old. “Normal” toddlers tend to act “autistic” in many ways. “Normal” toddlers frustrate parents. I might worry more if she isn’t verbally communicating at least some of her needs without prompting by age 2. Many “normal” 19 month olds don’t talk all that much at all.

I work with a Romanian lady.

Hello from the United States!

If she is not autistic, you will know in a few years.

If she is, it's not so bad really. I have autism and have done quite well--it hasn't hurt my love of learning and writing, if anything it helped me with all that.

The best thing here is that your little girl has a very loving and thoughtful mother which you are. Little children, as mentioned above, do behave oddly.

My twin nephews were quite outgoing up until about 12 months then they started to avoid eye contact. They too never pointed things out and as it happened they turned out to be on the spectrum. They have friends, they are 5 and learnt to ride their bikes this week. They are interested in trains, Sonic the hedgehog, electricity and plumbing

They're lovely little fellows and a great source of joy to all of us.

(and I was diagnosed after their autism became apparent aged 47)

Here is some good information about toddler development. You should note her progress and then discuss with her doctor. They show pointing at 2 yrs. Infants and Toddlers

My daughter didn't point, my daughter was often highly observant but passive, my daughter asked "why" once in that alleged phase, she didn't play peek a boo, she didn't play catch, when I opened my arms to her, she'd run around me. I suspected at that same age that my daughter was autistic. Still I wasn't sure, like you she was my firstborn --- maybe it was her personality, which is very different from mine. Maybe it was communication issues only. At 24 months she did not hit the 30-word milestone, but she did just one week later, so I shrugged it off. Then my son was born and he did all those things she didn't. Still personality? By three years old I was teaching my daughter to return smiles and hugs and how to politely inform people she had no interest in talking to them. People asked me what her favorite toys were and all I could come up with was: office supplies. Even so, her daycare provider didn't think she might have ASD, but I saw the likelihood. Then at 7 my daughter's flapping increased and her infrequent but fierce meltdowns continued and I started researching in earnest. To my surprise, I discovered that **I** have ASD. Huh. Now that she is 8 years old, my husband and I agreed we'll get testing, even though her PCP and teachers still don't see it. She's a smart girl and is able to handle most of what is expected in the classroom and examining room. I've helped her get this far, but would like some professional help for my blind spots. My only fear is society's negative response to her (because I had internalized it myself). Other than that I know it's possible to be happy and successful with ASD --- with awareness and tools. Whether or not your daughter has ASD, you are increasing your awareness, considering what might be helpful for her... these are good things. I truly believe there is always "something" --- as always find your daughter's strengths and help her navigate her weaknesses. Wishing you both well!

The following videos may help.

If you suspect your daughter has autism, it's probably what's going on. Parents' feelings are a strong first indication.

Our second son, now 26 months old, was developing totally different from our first. However, both were quite social up until 12 months, where they would love looking at people and smile. Then it gradually gets less. Our second son is not diagnosed yet, but you'd have to be really stupid (and most people are) to not be able to see it. I can see a lot of things in your text resemble to their development as well. Imitation stops and regresses. Has words only for the strongest of needs (tzitzi). Slowly stops being enthusiastic.

Is it possible to tell from the age of 19 months? Sure as hell. I think you could even tell from the first moment you hold your baby.

What can you do to test?

Try giving your child some ordinary toys and see what she'll do with them. NT kids will usually know what to do with them.

Try playing kitchen with her. NT kids will try to feed you and want you to have this and that bla bla bla, being annoying as they always are.

Walk into the room and say "hi". If she's not tuning in to you it's a really big tell. Go outdoors and knock on the window - you could even let her be straight infront of you as you knock. No respons and it's a huge tell.

Hold her up the air and have her looking down at you. If she can't keep eye contact with you for more than 2 seconds it's also a sign.

Having trouble eating? Says no to most food? Find it difficult to play with food because of shape or feel? Typical sign.

Try reading a children's book and see how long she can concentrate on listening, if listening at all. Just moving away within a few seconds is a typical autism trait. NT kids usually find any book interesting, and especially sharing it with you.

Is she the happiest when running back and forward in your house? If yes (and yes on most questions above) it's a typical autism thing. Also spinning around once in a while.

Seem distant? Do you need to wave your hand infront of her eyes to "wake her up" if you 'lose her' during lunch?

Is she making you feel stressed when you're trying to get something done? No interest in you, whatsoever, until you start talking to someone, try a dress on in a shop, waiting in a cue etc - and she goes bananas because she need to wait? The stress is a trademark thing that only parents of autistic kids can understand.

Do you get the feeling your kid is only interested being with you because she wants your breast milk?

These are some of my ideas of detecting autism. Eventhough it's your first child you can normally sense what is going on and now your kid is at an age where it starts showing clearly in relation to other children. It could be enough just lifting up a NT-kid and you feel the difference right away. Before I knew anything about my first sons' diagnosis I had pointed out while lifting his cousins (same age (20months)), what a big difference in reaction I had gotten.

I probably sound like a real expert here, but I have no official training. However, I do have real life experience and I've seen it happening - which is more than most experts have experienced. I also know the feeling of being scared. I'm still scared.

Just remember one thing: people around you will not help you to figure out what's going on. They'll probably do more harm than good.

I knew my son was autistic by three because he wasn't meeting the milestones. The first time I noticed something was off was when he was about 6 months old. I was holding him and he wasn't making direct eye contact with me to where I thought he might be hearing impaired. I snapped my fingers near each of his ears and he turned toward the sound but still had a distant look in his eyes like he was just somewhere else. The flapping started by the time he started walking which was at almost two years of age. Oddly, he does have flat feet and scoliosis. Sometimes I wonder that maybe this is why he was slow to crawl and walk. It was emotionally painful to see him not reach those milestones that most kids reach. It feels like yesterday and now he's graduating college. Back then, I didn't think the future held much but a lot changed throughout the years. The bright spot was special education. The years were lonely ones even around the other special ed parents. No friends, no parties, no dances, no proms. Now, all that pain is in the past. He will be graduating with a degree in elementary education K thru 4th and special education K thru 8th. It's amazing what can happen over 21 years. It's as if no time has passed at all.

@RightGalaxy, that's encouraging. It's good to read that it worked out well. I have ASD and believe my daughter does also (in her way, different personality than mine). I relate to what you wrote --- I also did the sounds by the ears with my daughter --- she was engaged and thoughtful but oddly unresponsive. I'm the "overresponsive" ASD-type so I found this fascinating and a little scary. Although maybe I was like her as a baby too. At age 8, she's starting to have show more stress and I think it's (past) time to have her diagnosed to get help. It "worked out" for me without a diagnosis, but was a little too "bumpy" for my taste. I was wronged rather than helped and I internalized it (I think boys tend to externalize it). I definitely like that kids these days can benefit from more understanding, compassion and support!! ! (in some families and communities, unfortunately not in all)

By 19 months I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my daughter was different, but I initially did not connect it to autism. She did not point, was not verbal yet, didn't always respond to her name, would headbang when melting down, arranged toys instead if playing with them...wait, what? I didn't connect it with autism? Nope not at first.

Whether or not she is autistic may become clearer in the next couple of years. However it doesn't hurt to start learning how to understand her now. She may end up being some other kind of quirky, but anything you learn can help. I think accepting that she may not be your typical kid is an important first step. It allows you to stop focusing so much on what she should be doing, and instead focusing on understanding her better as an individual.

My daughter is now almost 15. She attends a regular high school and takes regular classes. She has NT friends who accept her as she is. For the most part, she blends well (except when she doesn't... Then she really doesn't), but if you ask her if she is autistic, she says definitely, and if you ask her if she would change that, she says never. That is not to say she doesn't have challenges. She does. And it's not to say that she doesn't have some really difficult days in which she hates the things that make life hard. But she also recognizes her unique gifts and would not trade them.

I share this so that you can have hope that even if your daughter has autism, you have nothing to fear. I love my daughter and am so proud of her. Raising 2 kids on the spectrum helped me learn to appreciate and celebrate small things and I am grateful for that.

You are welcome Jon81.

Having spent a number of years "on this road" the one thing I can say is you can never predict the future. Those who remember me from years ago may remember that I was actually more worried for my son's future than my daughter's even though he had the "better" diagnosis (ADHD and NVLD). Turns out I needn't have been. He is in his second year of community college and is doing quite well. He continues to have challenges, but if you would have told me 8 years ago that this would be where he is now, I would have said impossible. Also, just 2 years ago when my daughter was in 8th grade, her teachers (integrated classroom) were seriously concerned about her mental and emotional capacity to adjust to high school, yet her adjustment to high school was hands down the easiest grade to grade transition she has EVER had. But there were times in 8th grade that I was heartbroken by how much it seemed she was slipping and how much more prominent her issues were (the onset of puberty was NO JOKE).

My rambling is meant to say it is never a death sentence, if for no other reason than it is impossible to predict the future. Both of my kids have had many highs and many lows. Are they where NT kids of similar aptitude are? Eh. Maybe not. But do I think they will both be able to contribute to society in meaningful ways and attain a large degree of independence? Absolutely.

...it is wild ride, though!

There should be more awareness, on the difference between a child/children at, the developmental stages for someone with autism and someone without. Or even a before and after, vaccines to see if that has affected them.

I hope you'll get the answers.
I have AS traits but no diagnosis, however i have dyspraxia. I was tested to see if i was deaf and i didn't sit upright or walk apparently as quickly as others. When i was little. Also had wires on the head to check that all was well with me too, when my brother apparently had a fit. Brain test came back ok.

However, despite what is happening now, she could catch up with others and lead a relatively normal life.
I've read that some people on here, were mute as a toddler and yet went on to do many great things and even get a degree at uni, go on to do great jobs, have a family ect, It's harder for women to get a diagnosis too apparently.

Me and my brother were my parents firsts, we had no help or support. They didn't know what was what. Theirs delays with assessment processes and some families don't get helped or overlooked. I've visited child development centre a lot as a kid. I was an underweight and under height and skinny kid.

I really feel for you and hope you'll get the answers you'll seek, no one knows there own kids better than the parents.I hope as well that your daughter or anyone else in this situation, will go on to do many great things and have a good long, healthy and productive life without many set backs.Wishing you all the best!