Considering disowning your child?

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Ettina
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18 Jul 2022, 4:48 pm

My parents haven't disowned my adoptive siblings who sexually molested me. They kicked them out to protect me, but still care about them and are open to contact with them (my dad is Facebook friends with one of them).

So if sexually molesting children isn't enough to lose my parents' love, I don't think I will ever be disowned by them. They truly feel unconditional love for their children, no matter what we do.

I hope to give my child the same bedrock of unconditional love that my parents have given me.



cyberdad
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18 Jul 2022, 4:55 pm

d_a_l_j wrote:
when Dad lashed out and said to my face, "You're not the daughter I wanted. I wish you weren't born!" It was just a typical meltdown of mine that led him to make this comment, but I m not sure exactly what caused the meltdown, if that makes sense. (I have meltdowns more than most)


You dad probably fell into the trap of comparing you to the dreams he had and to other people's children. No matter hard you try, as a parent its impossible to not get caught up in the social comparison. especially when other people's children are being praised or you are embarrassed in public.

However, your father's comments showed he is weak and uncaring to say this to you. In that instance he is the problem (not you).



cyberdad
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18 Jul 2022, 4:55 pm

cyberdad wrote:
d_a_l_j wrote:
when Dad lashed out and said to my face, "You're not the daughter I wanted. I wish you weren't born!" It was just a typical meltdown of mine that led him to make this comment, but I m not sure exactly what caused the meltdown, if that makes sense. (I have meltdowns more than most)


You dad probably fell into the trap of comparing you to the dreams he had and to other people's children. No matter hard you try, as a parent its impossible to not get caught up in the social comparison. especially when other people's children are being praised or you are embarrassed in public.

However, your father's comments showed he is cruel, weak and uncaring to say this to you. In that instance he is the problem (not you)