Teenage apathy

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Hello World,
I am drowning in self pity because my teenage boy is apathetic and lazy and I let him get away with it and become passive aggressive in return.
Someone shake me

Shake shake shake.
It's normal (I guess) a teenage kid gets drowned in their own world to the point they does little with the outside world. There's a lot to process when you're teenage.
If you become passive agressive, it's a bad thing. Boundaries and assertiveness are the answer. Define what you accept, what you tolerate and what you don't accept.

that's wierd.

i'm 37, lazy, apathetic, and passive aggressive

As a parent you have the typical tools at your disposal; shame, guilt, threats, and bribery. You might also enlist his help. For example, if you describe his situation and can get him to agree that it needs to change, he might even help you when you cave in.

If he sees that things need to change, you can work with him on how and when. For example getting a part time job.

If he refuses to see that his consumptive approach to life is not going to work for him, you might try inviting a good looking girl over and when you introduce him to her you can say "I'm sorry about my son, it would not be worth getting to know him because he is too lazy to be worth developing a relationship with". This sort of "theater" can backfire, but it would help convey to him that the path he is on is not one that will be useful.

In the other thread, you say your son is on heavy medication.
Are you sure it's laziness, not difficulty functioning?

That’s a good point.
Thanks for shaking me also, I told him yesterday that next Sunday “we” will be cleaning house and he said “okay”.

I know that now my advice is pointless, but after pandemic will be over, try to take a trip together. It helped me to recover when I didn't want to do anything

When my son was a teenager, I took him with me for classes at the community college (yes, they let HS age kids in as long as they were with a parent). We took classes in electronics, welding, hydraulics, machining, etc.

It cost a bit of money, but he became enthused by some of the things he discovered he could do.

Who says you (denianator) have to wait until the plandemic is over? Why not take a trip together now, weather permitting? You're from Virginia, which has strict Covid lockdowns. Go to a more open, free state, why don't you! A state with a pro-freedom governor who respects the Constitution, like Florida, Georgia, or South Dakota. Or for something closer, Tennessee works well enough, although it's not as free as those states. Show your son how pleasant it is to dine inside a restaurant, exchange a hearty handshake with a friendly person he met, and watch a movie in a theater with many other fellow enthusiasts.

It could be a wonderful teaching moment. You can use this trip to teach your son about what it means to be a free, independent, proud American. Him being a teenager, it means he'll go to college soon. Learning about what it's like to live as a free man could proverbially vaccinate him (pun intended) against the leftist, Marxist indoctrination his college will inevitably force on him. The kind that'll tell him he's a bad person for being a straight male. And as an aspie, he's far more likely to buy into it (as yours truly once did) than an NT young person might.

I wasn’t exposed to much Marxism in college.

There’s some PC in colleges, though.

I, myself, had bad experiences when I cleaned house with my mother.

The way to motivate kids is to clean house with them, while also listening to his/her concerns. Don’t be nasty if the kid doesn’t do something right. Sometimes, dispense with the “tough love.” But don’t let the kid disrespect you.

“Tough love” is for violent, disrespectful kids.

The Marxist ideology and the cancel culture in colleges grew gradually. They started in 1980's, picked up speed in the 2000's, and completely took over in the last 5 years. There are almost no conservative colleges remaining. That's why I think the OP's son needs to visit a free state before it's too late for him.

You probably went to college before they all turned into liberal circuses.

I graduated in 2006. There was plenty of "liberalism" in my college----but very little Marxism. Being a liberal doesn't make one a Marxist.

I'm not going to call a conservative an "extreme right winger" just because a conservative's viewpoint is slightly to the "right" of mine.

This year, I've been using the two terms mostly interchangeably, sorry. I'm very angry at this year's events, especially the quarantines. It wasn't a shot at you personally.

Also, maybe I went to a very leftist college. I didn't notice it at the time. But looking back at the course content and the overall messages being pushed, like male-shaming, it's unnerving.

Your country has been digging mass graves! Over 40,000 have died in New York city alone, and the daily death toll is half as much as 9/11! And you're recommending someone go and recklessly put their child at risk? WTF is wrong with you? Freedom means nothing if you're dead.

"Give me liberty or give me death!", said Patrick Henry in 1775. If you're from the UK, we got away from you for a good reason. That old King George III got too overbearing, so we turned to George Washington instead. We even wasted good tea in Boston to show our love of freedom.

These "40,000" numbers are inflated. And those refrigerator trucks parked outside of hospitals? Staged by CNN, the most leftist news channel ever! In the US, if someone with Covid dies of anything at all, like E. Coli poisoning, guess what? They're classified as having died FROM Covid! Presumably, it's meant to protect morgue workers handling the remains, but it inflates the numbers like hot air balloons.

Denianator should definitely take a road trip as a family to a fully open state. It's as good for a teaching opportunity about what it means to be a free American, as it is for rest and relaxation. If it doesn't fully stop teenage apathy (a difficult task even for NT parents with NT kids), it'll at least reduce it by giving the son something inspiring to see.