Why are the parents of autistic people so overprotective?

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Why are the parents of autistic people so overprotective, I am Polish, my friend's parents did not want him to ride a moped / scooter?

I'm almost 35 mu friend is 30


Why are the parents of autistic people so overprotective, I am Polish, my friend's parents did not want him to ride a moped / scooter when he was 16 even trough allowed to do so his younger and older sibling
My friend now boasts that, as a kid, he had a official sentence of of a Polish court for family matters, for driving a motor vehicle of the type: single-wheeler without a motor / scooter driving license, he was sentenced to social work in the Social Welfare Center, but without an entry in the register of convicts
He said that his parents were terribly pissed off with him, that he drove without a license, because if he was a victim of a road accident, he would be treated as a perpetrator, they were afraid that he would not get into the university because our universities, not knowing why, look crooked when someone was convicted in court
But they did not punish him, because they decided that he had a suspended sentence anyway, but they sent him to a scooter driving license course

He become male nurse thanks to this sentence

I don't think all parents are overprotective like that. Some autistic people have overprotective parents, some have average parents, and some have neglectful parents. Some don't have parents at all. Likewise, parents of neurotypical children, or children with conditions other than autism, can be overprotective. It depends on their personality.


PS A male nurse? Is that a nurse who only treats men? Men who are nurses are called "nurses".

OP, I am not sure if you are a parent yourself but I would assume that from the very out of touch for a parent point of view you represent you are most likely not a parent.

When you are a parent of another human being you are fully responsible for that person in each and every way.
It is very easy to judge your own parents or parents of others but your judgement is very superficial and has no benefit of the depth of entire picture of what the parenting is about and what does it take to parent.

At the very minimum you need to take into consideration that the Autistic children do require on average much more care and parental investment then neurotypical child. Parents do not invest themselves for no apparent reason, parents do respond to that increased need that is very apparent from the early age.
Parents did not and do not create those additional needs, those additional needs come to the surface from the depth of the Autism and need to be addressed.

What you perceive as "overprotection" is simply normal care for "differently abled child".

Think of it as comparing a child with legs to a child without legs. Seeing a child without legs on a wheel chairs being pushed by a parent as opposed a child with legs running freely you would say: why those parents are so overprotective of that child on the wheelchair?

No you would not say that. Because you see the obvious. You see the deficiencies and the needs that have to meet them. With an autistic child you don't see the deficiencies but you see the parent who knows what they are and are trying to provide for them.

What you also need to take into consideration that as a person who clearly has very limited exposure to Autism and raising autistic child is how Autism affect balance. If you care to check the obtundent resources you will very quickly see how the balance is not quite predictable feature of autistic kids and how often they struggle with it for life. It can be a big thing, it can be little thing, it can come and go but it is always there. Some learn to compensate, others learn to avoid. In each case putting Autistic people in a position that requires a lot of balance can prove disastrous.

It is about wiring of the brain, about predictability or lack of it How brain processes situations. It is legendary that adult autistic drivers have problem with distance perception and road rules and how often they rear end cars as they failed to properly adjust speed/distance. How often they are involved in the road rages because they
accuse other drivers of being rude or inconsistent while it is them misreading the rules and reactions in real time.
NOT MY opinion, there is actual data and research to support that. Hence, you end up with lots of people with Autism being involved in accidents.

The problem with sensory processing is there, you know that. This is not a mystery. Now when you add to it sensory processing at 60mph, this is potential recipe for disaster, this is sensory processing on steroids.

So back to the overprotective parents..
When and if that friend will be involved in an accident, which usually ends up deadly when a car meets scooter, who do you think will be dealing with the consequences. If the friend will only injured, badly, paralyzed for life,
who will have to spend the rest of their life tending and worrying nights and days?

If you ask me, those parents must know what is the potential here and they are far from overprotection, they are protecting with reason, for a reason.

A car is also a very risky long term proposition but it is much more minable because driving a car does not involve keeping balance, that involves constant body adjustments. Car is a mental game and a safer one as at least a metal cabin is protecting you to a degree.

I am not sure why you need as a mature adult any second opinion on why and how it was purely idiotic and irresponsible act to just grab a vehicle and ride it without having a license. It is an illegal act. It is dangerous act and it is insane act. It is bad at 7 as much as at 97 but you would hope that an adult would know better then doing this.

If you truly need some feedback here, then in a good will let me explain that such an act could have be very dangerous to many people involved and could end up with bodily injury as well as imprisonment or long term disability of someone, it also could mean legal costs and lastly, driving without a license and insurance
if the person doing it killed someone on the road, they would be not only responsible financially for all the loss they caused, loss of life, loss of earning potential if the killed a family provider.. etc.. but also they would end
up in prison for doing this. This would be involuntary manslaughter at the very minimum, however the intent there would could be disputed.

As to the second part of your post, how the act of being caught resulted in being a male nurse... I am not sure what exactly is the connection and even if it is why would anyone dwell on it, let alone ridicule people working in any field or profession?

For one, people decide about their choice of professional path in very personal way, some involve tons of planning and preparations, for others it may be random inspiration, act of rebel or act of desperation and many other in-betweens.

For two, there is great degree if immaturity of anyone who ridicules anyone for making a living in any way they don't approve. First of all, in most civilized countries work, any work is considered a commodity. It is means of support life. Without work you don't have money, without money you don't have a home, a life.
Why would anyone ridicule someone for their choices. In the US nobody does it. There is no job below and beneath of anyone. People respect anyone who makes a living in any way. There are phases in everyone's life when they have to pick up odd jobs to just survive. There are tons of rich and famous people who were nannies, waiters, care takers, maids, cleaners, etc.. before they were famous or between early gigs. Not ONCE you hear anyone making fun of them because any such person would be considered immature and ridiculous.

Why are male nurses as you put it an object of fun? or ridicule in that country? Males are nurses in the US for ages and this is normal part of life, this is a progress that you seem not to get. Just as many traditionally male jobs opened up with time for females, be it an astronaut, police, body builder etc. Nobody making fun of them right? Just by the same token males now are entering traditionally female fields bringing so much to it.
Imagine million times the situation when a nurse has to lift heavy patients, do you think that it is good to have strong males in the hospitals in that capacity or would it offend your sensitivities?

There are always people with little minds with the need to ridicule others but when you hear them talking, you can always take this opportunity and educate them about what they are missing. You can start with rethinking your own backyard.

P.S. Did you mean to say that because of the sentence, he did not get a shot at the spot at the university?
Because of his criminal record that was supposed not to be recorded? In any case, you can see how one
thing leads to another, if indeed he lost his chance at better future through education because of a bad
choice he made, you can clearly see how much smarter his parents were then him. Not being able to
see things before they happen and envision consequences before acting is an autistic treat and so
you need to again rethink the whole "overprotection" thing. As you see, he had a very smart parents
and he made very bad choice. I am definitely team parents.

Being on the Asperger's spectrum myself, I find it VERY necessary to constantly watch my youngins because they have no common sense - just like me - no common sense.

@lippe great post. You said it all.

What puzzles me is why anyone would come into this forum and ask this kind of question. You don't come here for no reason. Normally you have some kind of autism connection which in turn would mean you pretty darn well know what it means taking care of kids with ASD. They have no concept of dangers. They do not have the same physical ability as NT kids. They can be completely oblivious to just about anything.

I am the hypocrite kind of parent. I would do any kind of stunt as a young kid but when it comes to my own kids I'm worse than a granny when it comes to precautions. Having two ASD kids I know it's not like I can let them just walk down the stairs on their own. It already happened far too many times they fall straight down. I also know they don't understand what it means getting burned on the oven.

Yep, I've done some crazy s**t that easilly could have got me killed when I was a kid.
And can do even now, I am quite fearless. My last fear was darkness and I stopped being afraid of the dark at age 7. Well, I was, and am, fearful of hurting others feelings, but not for my own safety.

Once when I was in China I was told "don't talk to those girls, because they are daughters of maffia bosses", so I went over and talked with them.
In my late teens I rode a bike at crazy speed across an intersection where I knew cars could come, but I thought it to be statistcally unlikely that one would hit me.
I've walked on subway tracks. I've tried to save a man from getting robbed by skinheads. I've given the finger to a man wielding a knife.
There are many more examples...

My father let me do many dangerous things and even encouraged me, my mother was more protective.
But I didn't have a diagnosis by then, so my parents didn't know. They knew I could manage cross country skiing where it was level, but would fall as soon as the track was a tiny bit downhill. They probably knew more, but they are gone now so I can't talk with them about it.

/Mats

Polish man chooses career path as male nurse. I guess the stereotypes are true.

That's a misinterpretation. What you're supposed to do is read between the lines and deduce the meaning in it's proper context.