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shortfatbalduglyman
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05 Feb 2023, 4:01 pm

What kind of things did you do that disappointed your parents?

Hormonally transition from female to male

Academic dismissal

Made redundant from a lot of jobs



autisticelders
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07 Feb 2023, 5:47 am

everything! everything was all my fault, no escape, nothing but punishment.


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Fnord
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07 Feb 2023, 6:00 am

Being born.


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kraftiekortie
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07 Feb 2023, 8:31 am

I'm not sure about this:

But there are times when I feel like I was a "mistake."

My mother, usually, was hypercritical with me, and didn't seem "proud" of me (unless she was, and she just wanted to "toughen me up").

My father didn't have much expectations. He might have been surprised that I had "gone as far" as I did. He was easier to get along with, though, so I appreciate him for that.



DuckHairback
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07 Feb 2023, 10:16 am

I always felt like my dad didn't like me as a child. My mother actually confirmed this when I was 15.

I think he wanted a tough kid, the way he saw himself. I wasn't interested in sport, I was probably whingey and a pain when he tried to do anything with me. I wasn't brave or a dare devil type of kid. I think he just found me annoying.

I liked books and computers, not things he could relate to. But I was also into making things and would come up with plans for projects I was going to build but I wasn't capable of executing them. Treehouses, go-karts that sort of thing. Looking back it's weird he didn't help me learn how to make things, because he did make things too so this would be something of a shared interest. But he made no effort to try and help me with these things, he'd just shout at me for taking his tools or using his wood.

My mother is more of a mystery to me. I used to think she wasn't demonstrably affectionate towards me - I don't remember her ever really hugging me or anything. But nowadays I wonder if I rejected physical touch as a child. The reason being that my own child doesn't like me to hug her, she's always pushed us away. So maybe I did too. I don't know. My mum was around more than my dad but I feel like I know less about her.


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tonilessard
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08 Feb 2023, 2:36 am

It's important to remember that everyone has different ways of expressing love and affection, and sometimes it can be hard to understand each other's perspectives. It may be helpful to have open and honest conversations with your parents to try to understand each other's perspectives and build a stronger relationship.



kraftiekortie
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08 Feb 2023, 10:00 am

Sorry about your dad, Duckhair.

My dad thought a lot of me----but not as a viable person, really. More like a sort of ret*d, nice person. And I was into sports.

Your dad should have known that you creating and fixing things are positive things. I sense he was jealous of your intellectual aspects.



Caz72
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08 Feb 2023, 7:04 pm

Quote:
What kind of things did you do that disappointed your parents?


being autistic disappointed my mother

even now she resents me because of it


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RetroGamer87
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20 Feb 2023, 4:51 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of things did you do that disappointed your parents?

Stayed single for a long time. My father's disappointment was vast. Even my mother was slightly disappointed and she's usually more accepting of me.


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skibum
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17 Mar 2023, 12:06 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of things did you do that disappointed your parents?

Hormonally transition from female to male

Academic dismissal

Made redundant from a lot of jobs
Everything. My entire existence disappointed my parents.


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Readydaer
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17 Mar 2023, 12:18 pm

being trans seems to disappoint my father a lot but he doesn't show it actively. I really loathe him. Also, obligation inconsistencies due to the tism.


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old_comedywriter
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17 Mar 2023, 12:28 pm

Not ever getting the point of "Great Expectations".

"What was the symbolism of the fog?" Sorry, Ms. Abrahams, that's not why I read books...


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Lost_dragon
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17 Mar 2023, 7:35 pm

In the case of my mother, she wanted me to follow the dreams she never got the chance to pursue. There were good intentions, but ultimately it wasn't me.

However, she did come around with time.

'You're not what I expected, but I'm glad to have you'.

That's good enough for me. :)


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RetroGamer87
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05 Aug 2023, 11:13 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of things did you do that disappointed your parents

Not play sports.


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Lackingincaffeine
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09 Aug 2023, 7:13 pm

Did...
Smoke, drink, skip school, drop school subjects, have sex before marriage.

Didn't...
Go to college, complete university, play chess, read bible, do sports, marry a high flyer.

(I am probably NT, my father is probably not)



Caz72
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09 Aug 2023, 7:17 pm

be autistic
ha!
my mother hated having an autistic child and as soon as i was 17 she kicked me out

i think she was just old fashioned tho

the only thing i did hate about her views was she didnt like my son because he was an accident
like it was his fault he was born :roll:


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