Utilizing monetary assistance for 5 y/o...questions, input..

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Jennyfoo
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09 Oct 2007, 3:15 pm

My 5 y/o has an evaluation at the Regional Center coming up. He was adopted through foster care as a baby and thus we receive a stipend- Adoption Assistance Program. It's not much, about 1/2 what he'd receive as a foster child, but it certainly does help. We're definitely not rich, struggling to make it work here in CA on one income while owning our own home, etc. I can't work, not with my "special needs" kids to care for. It would be a disaster.

Today, I found out that if he does indeed get the diagnosis of mild autism or mild mental retardation, and just with the information we gave the intake dept at the REgional Center, he automatically qualifies for a higher stipend, possibly more than double what he gets now, depending on diagnosis. He is my child, if I had given birth to him, this money would not be available to me. This money is not available to my 9 y/o AS daughter and some of her therapies have already put a financial strain on us. I feel guilty and torn in utilizing the assistance. It would certainly take some strain off of us financially and enable us to afford treatment for him and our AS daughter better.

Am I being dumb to feel guilty here? Would you utilize the monetary assistance if you had it available to you?

*as I type this, he's having a meltdown in his bedroom. He is so strained after a day of Kindergarten, that afternoon meltdowns are the norm- most days, we deal with 2-3 after he gets home. It doesn't help that his little sis loves to push his buttons. Ugh.



KimJ
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09 Oct 2007, 3:24 pm

If you are using the money for his particular care, then you shouldn't feel guilty. Money is doled out for all sorts of reasons, not always fairly. We were stone broke in CA and also received SSI for my son's dx. But it wasn't enough and we are much better here in AZ without assistance. For us, it's a waste of time by this point.

As long as you are honest about your son's traits and use the money for him, I don't see the problem. One of the reasons we stopped the process here is they were very clear they would accept exaggerated stories for eligibility.