When hurt, do your AS kids come to you?

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Mine don't. It's very strange. My NT 4 y/o will come to me, screaming, crying over every little boo boo. My 5 y/o suspected AS son will just cry- not seeking any comfort from anyone. MY 9 y/o AS daughter sprained or broke her wrist at school today. She didn't tell anyone. She didn't tell me when she got home. After she'd been home an hour, I told her to go do her homework. She stormed into the kitchen and started working. I went in to check on her because I heard her crying. She was bawling, couldn't hold her pencil, her wrist was all swollen and bruised. Her dad took her to Urgent care and I'm waiting to har what's up. It didn't look good.

It took a LOT to get her to tell me what ahd happened to her wrist. She wouldn't tell me. I don't understand why she didn't tell me.

Any insight?

My son is autistic, not considered Asperger's. When he was young until about 4, he didn't express pain like "normal" kids do. He would act mad, so I couldn't tell if he was hurt or just upset about the accident (falling off his trike, stumbling). He didn't express discomfort with temperatures (extreme weather) either. But it all changed around 4 and he can and does express all of that.

I didn't react to pain outwardly either until I was a teen. Sometimes people didn't know I was hurt until saw me. I might be silently crying, with a little tear down my face. I stepped on a big nail when I was 5, got my thumb slammed into a house door then a car door when I was 6 or 7. I fell in kindergarten really bad a couple of times.

On the other hand, I'd scream at the drop of a hat if I were scared or startled or being forced. I screamed a lot when fighting with my brother. I'd end up getting in trouble, even though he was 4 years older and quite rough with me.

Your daughter could have several disturbing reasons why she didn't say anything about her wrist. I hope she is okay. I would definitely report this to the school and make them write an incident report on it, since it happened there.

The Dr. thinks it's just a bad sprain, so that's good. I went to the school today to tell them about her problem informing people when she's hurt, etc. and they are writing up an incident report since it did happen at school. They needed to be made aware of her problems telling people when she's injured. The same thing happened this past summer when she was staying with her grandpa for a week. She fell and got hurt and didn't tell anyone- just cried a lot until they forced it out of her what had happened.

My son (Asperger's) cries and yells that something's happened, but he won't come to me. If I ask, he won't even come to me without a fight. I think he's terrified that I'll do something like clean it (a scrape) or something.

I wouldn't tell my mom if anything had hurt me at school anytime after elementary school. I think that I was afraid of looking weak in front of her, or that she would overreact and get mad (and then it didn't matter at who). And that was more than I could handle. All those unleashed emotions . . . wigged me out when she got pissed/hysterical. I often feel like my brain is completely out of control; I can't handle it when other people get like that too, especially parents.

When my daughter was younger and got hurt she cried, but didn't come to me. I always went to her and comforted her. I never thought that was strange. In fact, I thought that kids running to their parents for every little thing were strange (and a bit annoying too). Today (she's nine) she tells me when she was hurt. I'm not sure if she comes to me. She may tell me later if I'm not there to see it. Or may not tell be about it.

If my daughter is hurt 'socially' she will not always show her pain. Now that she's nine, she will tell me. But before she just couldn't tell me and she was crying and didn't want to be held and didn't accept comfort. I did hold her until she calmed down. Today she cries when she gets hurt by other people's behavior, but she cries inside (her words) or goes to the toilet, or walks away from people. She doesn't want peers to comfort her. She doesn't want them to know, because she dislikes the attention very much.

Aspies idea of pain can be very different though sometimes too in my opinion......

Most kids my age say i have great endurance, but the real reason is i just dont complain when im in pain, i mean i might break down when im alone but it all comes to the comfort and attention thing, most kids take comfort as an overreaction or it just freaks them out. I have no idea why but when my mother tries to comfort me even though im old enough to understand its what normal NT people do, i still feel uncomfortable, and awkward, no matter how much ive grown up and understand, it makes her feel better too.

Basically in my case, some things may be bad, but when most people would bawl for something, I just shrug it off because i dont want that comfort and overreaction from my mother.

P.S. Even now i think i have a broken thumb but no one knows.

I neer told when I was hurt. If I could bear the pain, why should I tell? Then when the pain got so bad that I did tell, I wouldn't be believed. I guess because I wasn't "acting hurt." So that just reinforced that I shouldn't tell in the first place.

My daughter (Dx autistic) is four and is a drama queen about getting hurt. She does not like the sight of her own blood, even a pin prick size. She seeks attention, comfort and repair of injury. My son, who we suspect is also autistic, cries but I have to go to him or tell him to come to me. He usually does not seek out the comfort on his own, but he happily accepts it when it is offered.