Email correspondance between my son's teacher and I

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Great topic/post!

I hate that this happens to us, but I'm actually a bit relieved that I'm not alone.
Daisy - your post was like reading about our school history for the past 7/8 years!

I'm still waiting for a response from an email I sent to her regular ed teacher Monday at 3:30pm. These are serious issues that I wanted some input in, but I guess she doesn't have time to discuss them.
Today, I will be resending the email - communication has been an issue this year between her regular teacher and home. I have great communication w/ her resource teacher and guidance counselor.

She has the same issues with organization, preparing for class, and writing assignments in her planner. She has a check list for EVERYTHING

A few weeks ago the entire class got punished for talking during class - one of the kids who didn't participate in the disruption was my kid. She got pissed off because she was still punished along with the entire class because the teacher said to her something like "you should have helped the situation".
My daughter shot back "It's not the responsibility of the student to keep the class under control, that's the teacher's responsibility". In this case, I totally agreed with my daughter, it IS the teacher's responsibility - how can you place that on a kid - a kid who has autism?!? Especially when kids ignore anything my daughter says
I'm not saying she's always right, or doesn't get into trouble with some of her antics, but I have to give the kid credit when she questions authority like she did.

Dean is so right with his statement - "Most are not functioning at a level as high as the students." I think some are easily intimidated with hfa kids.

my sentiments exactly. the latest...yesterday he got in trouble for stimming during class. my son has to hum to concentrate and relax. his teacher is a dumb ass.

I'm still waiting for a response from an email I sent to her regular ed teacher Monday at 3:30pm. These are serious issues that I wanted some input in, but I guess she doesn't have time to discuss them.

I would call and keep calling, until you got through..



A few weeks ago the entire class got punished for talking during class - one of the kids who didn't participate in the disruption was my kid. She got pissed off because she was still punished along with the entire class because the teacher said to her something like "you should have helped the situation".

say WHAT?! that's the craziest thing i've ever heard. don't you just love it when teachers put THEIR responsibility back on the kids? lol



Dean is so right with his statement - "Most are not functioning at a level as high as the students." I think some are easily intimidated with hfa kids.

you got THAT right..




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I had issues from day one this year (read back on some of my posts ). I ~almost~ requested another teacher but I changed my mind at the last minute.

I figured my daughter would need to experience this - the world is a sh***y place sometimes and she would have to deal with that type of personality at any given time during her life.

I have to say, I am very, very, VERY grateful for my son's school. They identified the Aspergers, and they have long delivered more than I ever realized he needed. He is really happy and thriving.

But next year he has to start middle school. This middle school has a reputation of having a really good special education department but, still, I wonder. Will he get what he needs? Will we end up battling virtually everything, like we had to when my son was in preschool?

And high school after that. What will I encounter?

We have been so fortunate. But it isn't the norm in this world, is it?

Sigh.

You know, it's funny, because our elementary school isn't one of the popular ones. It doesn't have the highest test scores, or the visibility. But they have struggled with a diverse and difficult to teach population for so many years that they have truly learned to teach to the individual child. I honestly believe we couldn't have done any better. Which goes to show what all those blue ribbons and awards they give out to schools are really worth: NOTHING.

you are truly lucky ^

perspectives of teachers. After 10 years of researching my son's Asperger's and all of the information that comes from all of the treatment teams, I have finally decided that I am really educated and have started handing them information as it pertains to my child. I still maintain an attitude of cooperation but I'm proud of what I know as a mother. I don't expect them to know it all just because they are the "specialists." I used to feel inferior, but now I just look at them like peers. I just gave his special education coordinator a list split into three columns. In one list I listed my son's concerns in school. In the second column, I listed his teacher's concerns (after attending a meeting with all of them that suddenly found me in tears) In the third column I listed proposed solutions with the request of any other ideas.

This seemed to be recieved well. I just wanted to post to let you know that you aren't alone in your frustration and to offer a solution that worked for me.

Last edited by DomesticAdvocate on 28 Feb 2008, 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've had some issues with Special Ed teachers in particular not being up to speed with teaching methods for spectrum kids, but I disagree that most are morons and functioning lower than their students. That's unfair to most teachers, particularly the General Ed ones who are given spectrum kids, but never offered any information or tools in order to help them from their schools and district.

Kattoo13, I'm totally on your side, but you might want to speak to an Advocate if things get any worse. The reason being is that you don't want to give the school ammunition to say your son should be removed altogether from General Ed. If you say your son needs to be told things 1,000 times more, needs to be reminded to turn in assignments, he pretends to pay attention in class, and a doctor recommended he be in a special program, that doesn't look good for him. Define what your goals are and work from there. If your goals are to keep him where he's at with extra help, then don't give the school any reason to remove him unless it's 100% necessary. We've worked with an Advocate who advised us to always be careful of the picture we paint of our children because the school will take that and use it against you instead of finding the proper resources to build upon the positive attributes the student has. And, before you walk into that IEP, you can bet that everything you've said or given to the teacher and principal has been discussed with the district managers who make the decisions.

Good luck and I'd be curious to hear how it turns out.

Kattoo13, I'm totally on your side, but you might want to speak to an Advocate if things get any worse.

i did. she wasn't any help either lol i need to find another adovocate.

If you say your son needs to be told things 1,000 times more, needs to be reminded to turn in assignments, he pretends to pay attention in class, and a doctor recommended he be in a special program, that doesn't look good for him. Define what your goals are and work from there.

one thing though, i never mentioned the pretending to pay attention thing to his school. that was between my son and his psych. we have defined the goals time and time again. my son might have a chance at meeting some of the goals, if his teacher did her part as well. she is very inconsistent.

If your goals are to keep him where he's at with extra help, then don't give the school any reason to remove him unless it's 100% necessary.

at this point, another school is looking like a good idea to me. i found a program that is top notch (from what i've heard). my son has been getting extra help for a year now, to no avail.

Good luck and I'd be curious to hear how it turns out.

thank you for your advice!

i appreciate that

Kattoo, I think it's because we have been so lucky with our school that I tend to take the position of, "if it isn't working, SWITCH." I know there can be good experiences out there. I don't know how common they are; it seems rather rare; but every child deserves to be in the best environment that can possibly be found where you live. I have always regretted not moving my son out of his preschool, when I knew it wasn't working for him, and I have seen so many children start to thrive from a simple change in environment. Sometimes it isn't even a matter of a good school v. a bad school, but simply of one that seems to work for your unique child, v. one that doesn't.

I do hope you can get it all sorted out. I can understand your frustration.

But they are, at least here in Arizona. My parents managed to hold that over the schools head and pretty much forced them to give me proper accomodations.

Some teachers fought back every inch of the way, but they knew my family was serious.

Maybe you might consider testing that, going to a lawyer and seeing if they are telling the truth. If not, I think you might want to keep in mind what kind of duress he experiences daily. They are responsible for that.

I'm sorry you have to fight so much with the school, though.

thank you. my sons school is a good school for NT kids..that's the problem. his teacher isn't flexible, she gets upset over things he cannot help, and frankly, i'm getting REALLY tired of the staff asking me what is going on with my son. i feel like i am dealing with a bunch of children and i am NOT referring to the students.

my son said he likes his school, but he doesn't like his teacher. i know one reason he likes it, is his friends (who has known since he was 2 1/2) are there. i guess it's because i see everything that's going on behind the scenes, that makes me very wary of keeping him there. i mean my son doesn't know his teacher knew he had his stuff all along and didn't bother to ask him for it. he doesn't know the teachers are writing me letters upset that he is humming/stimming in class. it's a nightmare.

thanks. i will have to do just that..consult with somebody who knows what they are talking about.

Your reply. "Well, Ms. So and so, have you asked him for it?"

lol she eventually took the papers out of his notebook, after i got on her ass about it.