Email correspondance between my son's teacher and I

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LynnInVa
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28 Feb 2008, 7:03 am

Great topic/post!

I hate that this happens to us, but I'm actually a bit relieved that I'm not alone.
Daisy - your post was like reading about our school history for the past 7/8 years!

I'm still waiting for a response from an email I sent to her regular ed teacher Monday at 3:30pm. These are serious issues that I wanted some input in, but I guess she doesn't have time to discuss them.
Today, I will be resending the email - communication has been an issue this year between her regular teacher and home. I have great communication w/ her resource teacher and guidance counselor.

She has the same issues with organization, preparing for class, and writing assignments in her planner. She has a check list for EVERYTHING :wink:

A few weeks ago the entire class got punished for talking during class - one of the kids who didn't participate in the disruption was my kid. She got pissed off because she was still punished along with the entire class because the teacher said to her something like "you should have helped the situation".
My daughter shot back "It's not the responsibility of the student to keep the class under control, that's the teacher's responsibility". In this case, I totally agreed with my daughter, it IS the teacher's responsibility - how can you place that on a kid - a kid who has autism?!? Especially when kids ignore anything my daughter says :?
I'm not saying she's always right, or doesn't get into trouble with some of her antics, but I have to give the kid credit when she questions authority like she did.

Dean is so right with his statement - "Most are not functioning at a level as high as the students." I think some are easily intimidated with hfa kids.




:?



kattoo13
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28 Feb 2008, 8:57 am

ster wrote:
sounds like the teacher is simply clueless.....simply put, if she knows he has the work in his backpack, and she knows he's not handing it in, she has 2 choices: 1. prompt him to take the work out of his backpack, or 2. take the work out of his backpack herself and show him that she has it.....................AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


my sentiments exactly. the latest...yesterday he got in trouble for stimming during class. my son has to hum to concentrate and relax. his teacher is a dumb ass.



kattoo13
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28 Feb 2008, 9:00 am

I'm still waiting for a response from an email I sent to her regular ed teacher Monday at 3:30pm. These are serious issues that I wanted some input in, but I guess she doesn't have time to discuss them.

I would call and keep calling, until you got through..



A few weeks ago the entire class got punished for talking during class - one of the kids who didn't participate in the disruption was my kid. She got pissed off because she was still punished along with the entire class because the teacher said to her something like "you should have helped the situation".

say WHAT?! that's the craziest thing i've ever heard. don't you just love it when teachers put THEIR responsibility back on the kids? lol



Dean is so right with his statement - "Most are not functioning at a level as high as the students." I think some are easily intimidated with hfa kids.

you got THAT right..




:?[/quote]



LynnInVa
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28 Feb 2008, 9:14 am

I had issues from day one this year (read back on some of my posts :x ). I ~almost~ requested another teacher but I changed my mind at the last minute.

I figured my daughter would need to experience this - the world is a shitty place sometimes and she would have to deal with that type of personality at any given time during her life.



DW_a_mom
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28 Feb 2008, 12:49 pm

I have to say, I am very, very, VERY grateful for my son's school. They identified the Aspergers, and they have long delivered more than I ever realized he needed. He is really happy and thriving.

But next year he has to start middle school. This middle school has a reputation of having a really good special education department but, still, I wonder. Will he get what he needs? Will we end up battling virtually everything, like we had to when my son was in preschool?

And high school after that. What will I encounter?

We have been so fortunate. But it isn't the norm in this world, is it?

Sigh.

You know, it's funny, because our elementary school isn't one of the popular ones. It doesn't have the highest test scores, or the visibility. But they have struggled with a diverse and difficult to teach population for so many years that they have truly learned to teach to the individual child. I honestly believe we couldn't have done any better. Which goes to show what all those blue ribbons and awards they give out to schools are really worth: NOTHING.


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kattoo13
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28 Feb 2008, 1:15 pm

you are truly lucky ^



DomesticAdvocate
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28 Feb 2008, 2:04 pm

perspectives of teachers. After 10 years of researching my son's Asperger's and all of the information that comes from all of the treatment teams, I have finally decided that I am really educated and have started handing them information as it pertains to my child. I still maintain an attitude of cooperation but I'm proud of what I know as a mother. I don't expect them to know it all just because they are the "specialists." I used to feel inferior, but now I just look at them like peers. I just gave his special education coordinator a list split into three columns. In one list I listed my son's concerns in school. In the second column, I listed his teacher's concerns (after attending a meeting with all of them that suddenly found me in tears) In the third column I listed proposed solutions with the request of any other ideas.

This seemed to be recieved well. I just wanted to post to let you know that you aren't alone in your frustration and to offer a solution that worked for me.

:)



Last edited by DomesticAdvocate on 28 Feb 2008, 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NewportBeachDude
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28 Feb 2008, 2:05 pm

dean wrote:
yes most teachers are morons. Most are not functioning at a level as high as the students


I've had some issues with Special Ed teachers in particular not being up to speed with teaching methods for spectrum kids, but I disagree that most are morons and functioning lower than their students. That's unfair to most teachers, particularly the General Ed ones who are given spectrum kids, but never offered any information or tools in order to help them from their schools and district.

Kattoo13, I'm totally on your side, but you might want to speak to an Advocate if things get any worse. The reason being is that you don't want to give the school ammunition to say your son should be removed altogether from General Ed. If you say your son needs to be told things 1,000 times more, needs to be reminded to turn in assignments, he pretends to pay attention in class, and a doctor recommended he be in a special program, that doesn't look good for him. Define what your goals are and work from there. If your goals are to keep him where he's at with extra help, then don't give the school any reason to remove him unless it's 100% necessary. We've worked with an Advocate who advised us to always be careful of the picture we paint of our children because the school will take that and use it against you instead of finding the proper resources to build upon the positive attributes the student has. And, before you walk into that IEP, you can bet that everything you've said or given to the teacher and principal has been discussed with the district managers who make the decisions.

Good luck and I'd be curious to hear how it turns out.



kattoo13
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28 Feb 2008, 4:10 pm

Kattoo13, I'm totally on your side, but you might want to speak to an Advocate if things get any worse.

i did. she wasn't any help either lol i need to find another adovocate.

If you say your son needs to be told things 1,000 times more, needs to be reminded to turn in assignments, he pretends to pay attention in class, and a doctor recommended he be in a special program, that doesn't look good for him. Define what your goals are and work from there.

one thing though, i never mentioned the pretending to pay attention thing to his school. that was between my son and his psych. we have defined the goals time and time again. my son might have a chance at meeting some of the goals, if his teacher did her part as well. she is very inconsistent.

If your goals are to keep him where he's at with extra help, then don't give the school any reason to remove him unless it's 100% necessary.

at this point, another school is looking like a good idea to me. i found a program that is top notch (from what i've heard). my son has been getting extra help for a year now, to no avail.

Good luck and I'd be curious to hear how it turns out.

thank you for your advice!



kattoo13
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28 Feb 2008, 4:11 pm

DomesticAdvocate wrote:
I just wanted to post to let you know that you aren't alone in your frustration and to offer a solution that worked for me.

:)


i appreciate that :wink:



DW_a_mom
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28 Feb 2008, 10:20 pm

Kattoo, I think it's because we have been so lucky with our school that I tend to take the position of, "if it isn't working, SWITCH." I know there can be good experiences out there. I don't know how common they are; it seems rather rare; but every child deserves to be in the best environment that can possibly be found where you live. I have always regretted not moving my son out of his preschool, when I knew it wasn't working for him, and I have seen so many children start to thrive from a simple change in environment. Sometimes it isn't even a matter of a good school v. a bad school, but simply of one that seems to work for your unique child, v. one that doesn't.

I do hope you can get it all sorted out. I can understand your frustration.


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morning_after
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29 Feb 2008, 12:18 am

kattoo13 wrote:
It's been a long time since I've had a kid in elementary school and I haven't taught for a long time, so I was wracking my brain for other things that I used as interventions. It seems like implementing the doctor suggestions through a meeting, is a good idea.
well thank you for the effort :) even with the doctor's suggestions, i was told the school is not legally obligated to follow. it's been a struggle. they basically laughed at me when i told them he needed o.t. (even though they have given him an alpha smart and acknowledge he has fine motoR and written output issues) and said o.t. is for the more "severly disabled students").


But they are, at least here in Arizona. My parents managed to hold that over the schools head and pretty much forced them to give me proper accomodations.

Some teachers fought back every inch of the way, but they knew my family was serious.

Maybe you might consider testing that, going to a lawyer and seeing if they are telling the truth. If not, I think you might want to keep in mind what kind of duress he experiences daily. They are responsible for that.

I'm sorry you have to fight so much with the school, though.



kattoo13
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29 Feb 2008, 8:53 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
I have always regretted not moving my son out of his preschool, when I knew it wasn't working for him, and I have seen so many children start to thrive from a simple change in environment. Sometimes it isn't even a matter of a good school v. a bad school, but simply of one that seems to work for your unique child, v. one that doesn't.

I do hope you can get it all sorted out. I can understand your frustration.


thank you. my sons school is a good school for NT kids..that's the problem. his teacher isn't flexible, she gets upset over things he cannot help, and frankly, i'm getting REALLY tired of the staff asking me what is going on with my son. i feel like i am dealing with a bunch of children and i am NOT referring to the students.

my son said he likes his school, but he doesn't like his teacher. i know one reason he likes it, is his friends (who has known since he was 2 1/2) are there. i guess it's because i see everything that's going on behind the scenes, that makes me very wary of keeping him there. i mean my son doesn't know his teacher knew he had his stuff all along and didn't bother to ask him for it. he doesn't know the teachers are writing me letters upset that he is humming/stimming in class. it's a nightmare.



kattoo13
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29 Feb 2008, 8:54 am

morning_after wrote:



Maybe you might consider testing that, going to a lawyer and seeing if they are telling the truth. If not, I think you might want to keep in mind what kind of duress he experiences daily. They are responsible for that.

I'm sorry you have to fight so much with the school, though.


thanks. i will have to do just that..consult with somebody who knows what they are talking about.



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29 Feb 2008, 3:11 pm

kattoo13 wrote:
Does anybody else here think their kids teachers are morons? I feel like she just doesn't "get it". This is the email his teacher sent me today. She actually sent a note a few weeks ago saying he "chose" not to pay attention.

She's been sending a note for the past week requesting he turn in this form, even though it's been in his notebook (completed) for more than a week. He forgets he's supposed to turn it in, so instead of asking him for it, she just keeps on sending reminder notes home. My responses are within the email:

Ms. Gamboa,
I am aware of Noah's inconsistencies in class. As part of Noah's contract he is supposed to do his morning routine which is always written on the overhead as the children come in the morning. Although I seldom see Noah read the overhead
If he is not reading the overhead, there is obviously an issue there. What do you suggest can be done about this to keep him on task?[/q]


he has improved putting his homework in the homework bin and his morning work in the work bin. Therefore, I know he is capable of doing it even though it may be inconsistent. I also send home a blue missed assignment sheet every week only if Noah does have things that are missing, if he doesn't receive one that means he has turned in and completed all his work for the week. (I sent one home yesturday.) I do physically check Noah's homework folder to see if he has turned everything in. I saw the awareness form and the yellow sheet but left them in there because since I have seen Noah improve with turning his homework in, I was hoping he would eventually turn those in as well.
[b]How long were you planning on waiting to see if he would eventually turn it in? It had already been a week, and he still hadn't done it...


Not only do I have a morning routine written, but I also remind the class what needs to be done or turned in after announcments. Therefore, Noah gets 2 reminders.
I know he has a tendency to zone out, even if it may look like he is paying attention. If he is not walking up to you and doing what is told, please remind him again and ensure he turns in the necessary work.

Your reply. "Well, Ms. So and so, have you asked him for it?"



kattoo13
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29 Feb 2008, 4:13 pm

lol she eventually took the papers out of his notebook, after i got on her ass about it.