Schools report

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This broke my heart to read.

constantly on the move. Is unable to sit still for long periods of time.

Did not speak until she was 3. Can communicate clearly when calm but is unable to calm herself while in a screaming session.

Little incidents upset her, a question or suggestion from peers or staff can send her into turmoil. She will lash out at class mates and staff. Does not do this at home.

Can be aggressive and lacks self control. Her spontaneous screaming out bursts and physical attacks are becoming more frequent. She is unable to account for her behaviour when asked why she screams she says 'i can't stop'

She is very insular. She needs to be the centre of attention. She doesn't know what upsets her.

Good relationship with family. Appears not to have sustain relationships with other children.

Doesn't interact with other children well. She is creative, loves painting etc but gets frustrated if its not perfect. defaces it, screws it up

Attendance is good but wont participate in most tasks (even registration) Wont access help - screams and hits out.

Very little progress - refuses to do any written work. Will only join in any work when she chooses. We have tried and play based curriculum but often refuses this too. She screams uncontrollably

Low confidence and esteem. Even if help is offered she still stubbornly refuses saying she can't do it.

Outbursts usually follow a change in routine e.g supply teacher tried to take the class out to play through a different door.

Developed a imaginary friend to extra-ordinary lengths and has become rather obsessed with 'Sarah' and has attacked children because they are standing on her.

Plays repetitive games with repetitive dialogue.

At home its slightly different in that we are ruled but routines the whole day is planned and been like this since she was 2 from the breakfast she has (wheetabix one day porridge the next) to having to see the bedtime song on cbbebies. However it seams that doing this avoid the screaming and hitting out. The educational psychologist, school nurse and the school all agree that it sounds like AS and have put in the referral. They have also brought in the Autistic team to work with her, which surprised me before a diagnosis. I worry that she will get a diagnosis and worry that she wont! I don't know how to get over this point!

Do you agree it sounds like AS? My husband is so 'classically AS' that he ticks every box. With our DD she is not shy and is in fact quite a extrovert (mostly not understanding personal space and strokes people new or known to her)

Yes it does. I was a lot like that. I was more passive though and adventured around... Roaming the halls during class and leaving school to go off and who knows what... My mom said once they found me roaming around in the neighborhood and I said because I 'missed my mommy and was trying to find her'.

She may have ADHD. Be careful of that though I was misdiagnosed as that.

sounds a whole lot like AS.....i know this is hard to come to terms with....but it seems like they ( the school) have a firm grasp on what her strengths and shortcomings are. this is a far better response than many of us on WP have dealt with !

some of the behavior sounds like OCD. ( perfection, refusing to do work because she can't do it.)

how is her interaction with the teachers ?

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

Yes, she sounds like she's AS. I think it's brilliant they've brought in the Autism team already. She sounds like she needs help now, so why wait for an official diagnosis.

I have 3 sons - 2 of my sons were diagnosed last year. I was the same .... worried if they got the diagnosis, worried if they didn't get the diagnosis.

The most important thing is that your daughter needs help. Accurate diagnosis is the first step to getting her the help that she needs.

As for you, make sure you look after yourself!

I can relate to the husband bit!

Helen

Her realtionship with her teacher is a strange one. She hits and kicks her one minuet but then she will do that to anyone if they change something such as the lesson, like going from maths to English even though she likes both. However the only way to get her tp settle is to place her on a square of carpet by the teachers feet and she srokes her leg.

The Ed psych said she doesn't think its ADHD as these out brusts are only when her routine changes or somthing is different like someone new in the class.

My husband has speical interest that he talks about obessivly, which She doesn't have although she gets obessed with certain toys for weeks.

All this is doing my head in

Have you tried homeschooling/home-unschooling?

My 8 year old home-unschools. It eliminates half the problems straight off. In fact makes it obvious that half the problems are school-created. ( Society turns difference into disability, and school is the first and most massive agent in this process.)

It has crossed my mind but I worry that she will loose what social skill she has left. It way well be somehting I look into if she get the dx of ASD.

As others have said before me, ( DW_a_mom for one ), you don't go to school to socialise. The social skills you learn at school are school social skills, which have little or nothing to do with how people socialise in the rest of life.

It does sound like there is a good chance your daughter is AS. As I have often pointed out on this forum, the title is much less important than what it can do for you. If getting an AS title means your child will be happier, and have more of her needs met, then you embrace it. If it doesn't, then you discard it.

My son's first school report for special education broke my heart, too, even though I had requested it. It's one thing to feel your child is having issues; another to see it all in clinical, cold writing. It's really hard to read, I know it is.

So, back to focusing not on what is said, but where the report will get you.

I suspect your daughter has sensory issues, and is experiencing many "triggers" through out her school day. These will need to be identified in order for you to determine what schooling environment will be best for her. My son's sensory issues can be dealt with through a few accommodations from the school, and our school has been amazing with that. He can dictate instead of write, escape to a quiet room by himself when overloaded, squirm all he wants in his seat, chew on a straw, leave noisy assemblies, etc. But, I have a friend who had to pull her son out of this same school, because he simply can't deal with the sensory overload inherent to being surrounded by 19 other children, regardless of how many breaks and escapes he is allowed. With all the accommodations our school is willing to give, that is the one that simply cannot be changed. That child is now very happy being home schooled.

Hopefully you will find the triggers and be able to manage them within the school environment. If not, Ouinon is right, you can homeschool. There are many ways homeschooling families make sure their children still have the opportunity to develop and practice social skills. I would never keep a child in a school that isn't working for them solely for that reason. It's all about balance, looking at the whole picture, including your own needs, and figuring out what will work best.

But, first, spend some time getting to know your amazing child even better. Discover what overloads her, what upsets her, what causes her stress. That will help you see where to go from here.

It's a difficult process but you have a whole team of professionals to help you. Use them, but don't take their word for everything. It's a process.