It's the things parents of NT kids take for granted

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DW_a_mom
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13 Apr 2008, 4:47 pm

I do the "try it on at home and return it if it doesn't fit" with everything BUT shoes.

Those we just end up buying too big. Every time. It's the only way they don't annoy my son. And, even so, he's got to try on 10 pairs to be satisfied.

He's gotten pretty good about it, because he has basically figured out there is no way around investing a little time in this if he wants to wear shoes that feel OK. But to him one pair is enough, he's done, no looking back. That one pair had better suit every last purpose, because he does NOT want to shop any more!

We usually go to StrideRite. I've found they listen carefully and are very patient. And I think that whole calm and formal environment - sitting down, being fitted, waiting while the boxes are brought, etc - seems to help.

Given that since my son is only going to have one pair of shoes and wear them into the ground, we can spend the extra money for StrideRite.

We are fortunate not to need inserts.

But, yes, nobody else understands how grueling this can be. Even my own husband figured I must be making it up. My husband could not understand why new shoes could not appear as soon as the old ones were clearly worn out. So, he tried buying shoes for my son and discovered they all went to waste, lol. Um, yeah, dear, this problem is REAL. He can be grateful that I figure it out, even if it does take a few weeks to gear my son up for each twice-yearly trip.

Like you said, there are many more areas, too. Where it does get really frustrating, and the effort seems so out of proportion. I guess you just have to keep your eyes on the good parts during these trying times - all the ways your unique child brings gifts into your life that no NT child ever could. But, it's difficult in the moment. Been there, done that, will be again, I'm sure.


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Triangular_Trees
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13 Apr 2008, 8:39 pm

I'm just wondering but for those of you who have this shoe problem, when you do find a shoe that your child can tolerate why don't you also buy it in the next 2 sizes. Then when he grows out of it, you have the exact same shoe one size bigger



sinagua
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13 Apr 2008, 8:44 pm

Triangular_Trees wrote:
I'm just wondering but for those of you who have this shoe problem, when you do find a shoe that your child can tolerate why don't you also buy it in the next 2 sizes. Then when he grows out of it, you have the exact same shoe one size bigger


Because I didn't think of it until a week ago. Sorry, can't foresee everything. But I will totally do this the next time. I even discussed it with our son tonight. :) It's a great idea.



ouinon
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14 Apr 2008, 2:19 am

Triangular_Trees wrote:
I'm just wondering but for those of you who have this shoe problem, when you do find a shoe that your child can tolerate why don't you also buy it in the next 2 sizes. Then when he grows out of it, you have the exact same shoe one size bigger
A very good point!! :D

I think it's been because the shoe that fits is already ( at least ) two sizes larger than is "normal", and I am already so freaked by buying him one enormous pair... but I have learned to do something similar for myself; when I find something that I like, if I can afford to, I buy at least another two of them. It took me a while to work out, ( tragic trial and error, and regret), so... ... now I'm thinking, oh s**t; we should have got at least one next size up of his current ones because they are really great, and looking less silly ( boatlike), each month that passes!

Thanks for the idea! :)

8)



DW_a_mom
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14 Apr 2008, 12:59 pm

Triangular_Trees wrote:
I'm just wondering but for those of you who have this shoe problem, when you do find a shoe that your child can tolerate why don't you also buy it in the next 2 sizes. Then when he grows out of it, you have the exact same shoe one size bigger


It's a good idea. I'll look into it. It's a funny thing, how sometimes the simplest solutions remain invisible when you are so wrapped up in the moment. Thanks for pointing it out.

A few potential concerns:

a) Seasonal changes. Can't be sure which size my son will be in which season, and we do tend to choose slightly different styles when shopping in the spring v. the fall. For example, the shoes my son has been warying all winter are high top hicking shoes. I'm not sure he'll want that type in the summer. But maybe ... he does really like those shoes.

b) My son's opinion. Already he doesn't let me buy two of the same at the same time; he thinks it's a silly idea. Not sure how he'll respond to looking into the future. He overall isn't fond of doing that; he preferes to deal with the future when it gets there.

c) Kids don't grow "evenly" they tend to grow out for a while, then up for a while, then out, then up. I worry that the feet are doing the same sort of thing; not staying in perfect proportion as they grow.


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Mom to an amazing AS son, who recently graduated from the university (plus an also amazing non-AS daughter). Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).