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LISBY
Emu Egg
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14 Apr 2008, 2:31 pm

Hi.I am the mother of a 6 yr old child, not diagnosed. He was origanally diagnosed with adhd/odd. He has been undiagnosed with no further diagnosis. I live in Ohio. I am currently thinking of moving to arizona. I am going through a divorce. I am also gay. He suprisingly took to my being gay and the divorce like it wasnt a big deal. The problem is, dad is telling him if i move he will never see him again(which is a lie). Now my son obsesses over this. :evil: First off, why would someone,especially a parent do this? This child is so worried now. I was wondering if anyone here lives in Arizona and has info on what is there as oposed to ohio? I have been trying to get him tested for AS for 2 yrs. They(even the doctors) are expecting "rainman" to walk through there door. Instead, they get a child who is normal,but has a different outlook on everything. How many of you or your children, have IQs that are advanced for their age? Or even think it's possible? My son sometimes is smarter than me. He takes everything at face value. He has no awareness for things that are dangerous. People,heights,fire. Can't understand things like,you can't play with the computer because it is broken. He gets the two statements seperately but doesn't get what it has to do with each other. He worries about the world. He worries about me not having money. He worries about me working,his little brother doing nothing at all(but he might mom). I don't understand him. He wants control.He often says I want to be the mom of you. I want to move. Ohio is not very understanding of autism or AS. Most of them don't even know what AS is. I had heard that Arizona is a good state for all mental disorders and i have a friend there. Can anyone help me on this? :?



Nan
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14 Apr 2008, 2:51 pm

LISBY wrote:
Hi.I am the mother of a 6 yr old child, not diagnosed. He was origanally diagnosed with adhd/odd. He has been undiagnosed with no further diagnosis. I live in Ohio. I am currently thinking of moving to arizona. I am going through a divorce. I am also gay. He suprisingly took to my being gay and the divorce like it wasnt a big deal. The problem is, dad is telling him if i move he will never see him again(which is a lie). Now my son obsesses over this. :evil: First off, why would someone,especially a parent do this? This child is so worried now. I was wondering if anyone here lives in Arizona and has info on what is there as oposed to ohio? I have been trying to get him tested for AS for 2 yrs. They(even the doctors) are expecting "rainman" to walk through there door. Instead, they get a child who is normal,but has a different outlook on everything. How many of you or your children, have IQs that are advanced for their age? Or even think it's possible? My son sometimes is smarter than me. He takes everything at face value. He has no awareness for things that are dangerous. People,heights,fire. Can't understand things like,you can't play with the computer because it is broken. He gets the two statements seperately but doesn't get what it has to do with each other. He worries about the world. He worries about me not having money. He worries about me working,his little brother doing nothing at all(but he might mom). I don't understand him. He wants control.He often says I want to be the mom of you. I want to move. Ohio is not very understanding of autism or AS. Most of them don't even know what AS is. I had heard that Arizona is a good state for all mental disorders and i have a friend there. Can anyone help me on this? :?


Arizona is hotter than hell in the summer.

As far as your soon-to-be ex telling your kid he'd never see him again, that was just plain mean. Nothing more.

On facilities. I can't tell you specifically, as I've only visited. Maybe DuncanBass can tell you more. But I'd stick with the larger cities, anywhere with a university and a teaching hospital is going to be better than a smaller community. In the southwest communities tend to be spaced widely apart, and the smaller the town, the less resources you are likely to find (as a rule) for anything. As Aspergers (etc.) is not all that common IRL, it's going to be a kind of "boutique" thing you're going to have to hunt for help with no matter where you go. It's not a mental disorder, by the way.....

Good luck.



aurea
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14 Apr 2008, 2:52 pm

Hi! and welcome to wrong planet. :D
I'm not from America I'm from Australia, but I'm sure someone can help you with your location problems.
As to the intelligence question, I was always of the understanding that to get an AS diagnoses you had to have an average to above average iq.
My 9 year old had a school cognitive assesment done on him 3 years ago. Some areas he was low average other areas he was average, however in my opinion these tests are aimed at a "normal" brain. If my son were to be tested now and if the test were more AS friendly I think the outcome would be very different.
My boy often tells me stuff or asks me things and truethfully I have no idea what the right answers are I have to look the information up and 9 times out of 10 he is right. Its very humbling.
He can spurt out all this complex information, but he cant organize himself to get dressed in the morning.
Good luck finding what you need. Don't give up you know your child better than anyone else.
BTW my boy was diagnosed ADHD originally, but I wasnt %100 sure about this dx, I still had lots of questions that noone could answer, I hadn't even thought about AS, thank goodness for our new and very observant peadiatrician.



katrine
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14 Apr 2008, 3:46 pm

Hi and welcome
There's a big overlap with ADHD and AS - my 9 year old son has both, and sometimes it's hard to figure out where one starts and the other ends:)
This is a great place for help and support, hope it can help you and your son.



DevonB
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14 Apr 2008, 3:59 pm

First things first....

Remember that some behaviours are age appropriate regardless of ASD or ADD/ADHD. You have to look at those behaviours, and then modify them for whatever your son is. I don't say "has" because it almost sounds like if you work at it, you don't have to have it any more. My son IS ADD/AS and will be for life.

I am gay, and I left my sons' father 3 years ago. It was an ordeal in one way, and not, in another. Children at a young age don't question their parents' identity because it is in part still part of their own fluid identity. We are such a large part of their lives, they accept us as we are.

Remember that your son comes first and foremost in everything. Having a relationship with his father (unless this man is abusive) is important. I mean that for both of you. Your relationship with his father is important too. He might be frightened of losing his son. You might want to reassure him, and tell him that you will always help maintain a connection there. And you ought to do it, too. So, unless moving is a complete and total necessity....why not stay so that there is stability in your son's life?

Be careful how much you tell your son. They are incredibly sensitive little people...even though they may not show it at times. My sons were very aware of my financial troubles. I chose to tell them a bit less, so they would worry less. Especially my little man...he would worry so...and with nothing he could do...he would suffer. So I made a point to tell him that all would be well. Just because we couldn't always afford everything didn't mean we weren't safe and okay.

His life revolves around his safety, and his parents. Make that happy, and he will thrive.