How do I handle this? - need help from Aspies especially

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My 8 yr old (AS) made himself puke last night! He said he did it to trick us. But he didn't tell me about the trick until a few minutes ago. He said, "Mom! I figured out how to make myself puke!" and then he showed me about sticking his finger down his throat. I asked him if he did that last night and he said YES! "I wanted to trick you!"

So now I get to figure out what to do about that.

I don't believe he realizes that tricking us is also lying, if he lets it go on so long. I believe he discovered something new and was excited to see what happened. BUT that is lying because he let us believe it for too long and that is not acceptable.

Any suggestions on how to help him understand why this isn't acceptable?

oh my....haven't dealt with that one with my own kids......i have had students do this, though. the only thing we found that discouraged it was to make the student clean up the mess .

well, he did it into a puke bowl, so no mess to clean up there.

I'm lost on this one. I have AS myself, so I can get WHY he did it -- trying somethign new. But I need for him to understand that we cna't be faking sick and missing school.

He is just trying to explore his body. Seeing what he can and can not do. Just keep an eye on him, and if he tries something harmful such as that again, just sit him down, and tell him that it is bad, and that he shouldn't do it. And if he tries to lie, just look him in the eye, and make it look like you know about his lie.

Ok. I don't need to take away video games or something?

I did tell him that if he tells a lie about that again, then he won't be allowed to play with his games for the week. I didn't take anything away from him this time, I just told him that it's not good for his body to do that. His body needs the food inside.

He's very into tricking us and usually we catch on because he gets this little mischievous gleam in his eye, but this one flew right by us.

If he wants to fool people, buy him a little magic kit. It will keep him preoccupied while putting his want of trickery in a positive manner instead of a negative one.

Lying is one of those “hot potato” socials skills. All NT’s do it innately. It is necessary for their social structure. You just need to supply the logical parameters around lying and let him know your Social/moral beliefs about lying and when and at what level it is acceptable. Most aspies never get very good at it. It is also good to have him practice the “acceptable” forms of lying so he can use the skill appropriately. Just be aware if he has a high sense of social conscience then he may self limit the level at which he will do this (sounds like he is already experimenting so give some guidance).

As to the self-induced vomiting first let him know that this is really not good for his body and that is the worst case can develop into a pattern of behavior which can be life threatening.

Applying intellectual understanding and logic is always my first choice

bookworm

He's not chubby, is he? I've heard of Buliema starting that young in girls. If you think it might be in any way related to that, he should see a counseler of something similar.

No, he's not. He's a sturdy kid, but I wouldn't consider him chubby. I emailed his teacher and his school counselor and they said they'd discuss it and let me know what they come up with. They both were pretty alert to the forced vomiting issue.

Here's a picture of him, actually, taken 6 mos ago: Max

But he did not lie to you on purpose. Tell him to not trick you anymore and ask him how he would feel if you did that to him. Be ready for possible tears as it can be kind of scary to realize mom and dad can 'trick' you back.

Good point. And you're right -- I know he didn't do it on purpose, which is why I had such a hard time figuring out the appropriate response.

What happened was his teacher kept him inside from recess that day and he had to catch up on his work that he missed and he was without video games when he got home so he could work on homework/missed schoolwork. His teacher also had a chat with him regarding forced vomiting and skipping school.

It was handled well, I thought. The tricking will be an ongoing discussion, though, I'm sure, because he likes to play tricks. He's a fun kid.

That sounds great.