Calm down....more added

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I can see a private school bristling at a few special requests when a parent is unreasonable, or if a parent sneaked in a problem child without ever giving them a clue, but none of that is going on here. I think they do get used to having it easy, and that is an issue. But many private schools ADVERTISE the individual attention, how they can help children that might be overlooked elsewhere, and so on. The school at our church does. We've thought about moving our son there since middle school isn't going so great, and we would work it all out before enrolling. And then I would expect them to stick to it. No, they don't have to do certain things, but they DO have to stick to the promises they made to parents that are PAYING them good money to have their children attend school there. Which is what I see here: a implicit promise between the school and you.

I can answer to the "can't find his clothes" thing. We had a lot of accidents last year, and our solution was:
1. The teacher was to remind him every 2.5 hours that he was to try and use the restroom.
2. A change of clothes with his name on them, traveled to and from school in his backpack until he needed them. Unless he needed them, they were not removed from his bag.

Maybe you could put a paper bag with big permanent marker letters of "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY! UNLESS EMERGENCY DO NOT REMOVE FROM BOOK BAG!" on them. Let your child know that if he ever needs them they are there and he should remind the teacher he has a spare in his own bag that are just his IF he oopses.


(we also donated about 5 pairs of sweat pants to the school for other kids who might need to borrow them from the school.) Maybe you could start a "clothing drive" of a sort and ask that other parents donate to the school some extra outgrown outfits so that in case of accidents the school has a small supply to keep children from embarrassment.

[edit]Something our school does that I think is nasty but effective is they send your child's wet clothes back to you in a plastic bag... and in the plastic bag is a reminder to please wash and return the clothes that your child borrowed so that they have a supply for other children in the same circumstances. Kind of gross but effective, in my opinion. [/edit]

Good ideas everyone.
TODAY: My husband picked him up from the afterschool care and they couldn't find him. They called to another room he could have gone to but he wasn't there. My husband went outside to look for him and just saw him standing outside his classroom with a bag of clothes. The room is a portable and the teachers had gone. He was wearing no coat and just standing there. My husband asked Nate what he was doing and Nate said that he was waiting for his teacher to give her the bag of clothes. I guess an after school teacher told him to give the bag of clothes back to the teacher. When the teacher wasn't there, he didn't know what to do so he just wanted. Poor little guy. My husband was livid. On the bright side, Nate was wearing his change of clothes.

Another decision: We have decided to put him in that one magnet school I currently work in. At first I was extremely iffy about it due to the sensory issues in the cafeteria but now I am convinced. They have a wonderful math program, they cap the students at 22 because it's a magnet program and the staff are wonderful. They have so many interventions for kids who are struggling even in the regular education program. I am still concerned about the whole sensory issues but I realize that Nate will most likely require special ed services and will need the public school setting. I know they accommodate for children because I work there and see it (I am part of special ed so I help ensure that as well but haven't had to with this team). The special ed teachers are really great! They allow kids to eat lunch with them if they have sensory issues, too.

I don't know... The whole private school experience has been wonderful and horrible at the same time. The biggest issue is my son getting the help he needs and also getting challenged. He is bored at this school and they are struggling with how to help him. Nate also needs more language therapy. I have already talked with the special ed staff and the magnet school and they said, "Bring him in, let us meet him!" I will be bringing him in to meet them in a week. I can't wait. I haven't completely made up my mind yet. What I think will happen is have Nate go to public school until middle school and then put him back in the private setting - really, it's a day to day thing. I can try to plan everything out but there are just too many variables to truly do that.

Regardless, I know that the people in the magnet school and in the private school setting truly do want to help my son. I know that. It's just trying to figure out what would be the best for him.

He is having toileting accidents right now and it's not good. I asked him why he had an accident yesterday and he stated that another big kid wouldn't move so he could sharpen his pencil. I don't know...

Sometimes choices cause more frustration than NOT having choices, it seems. I know you will sort it all out and that Nate will thrive.