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twinky333
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Location: Alabama

03 May 2009, 11:49 pm

My 15 year old son was diagnosed with AS last year. He was constantly getting suspended from school for petty things and the main trouble was with the school administration. I complained and things got much worse. The IEP Team which included the Principal and some officials from the Board assigned my son to an Alternative School Boot Camp and he was not allowed a disciplinary hearing at the school board. I did not send him to Boot Camp and he was home schooled. The problem is that my son is very social and hated being excluded from school. He tried going back to school this semester but the same trouble started again.wE ARE BEING BULLIED BY THE SCHOOL DISTRICT. We live in Alabama and I know about IDEA Laws but there is no one to enforce these laws, not even the State Department or OCR. Due Process is crap. I have a lawsuit in federal court because of the violations of Constitutional Rights; the Districts hopes to turn into a special education issue but I won't let that happen and I want the Judge to allow my son to attend school in another district because things have gotten so bad. The District is all powerful and have abused thier authority, even had me arrested for educational negligence because I refused to send my son to Boot Camp. Those charges were dropped. My son has been medically diagnosed with PTSD and he has developed a lot of anger because of all of the stress and the pain of being excluded from school and his friends. He is mainly in trouble for being disrespectful to adults because he says what he thinks.
I think this has been so horrific because I haven't dealt with the school as expected. I have come to realize that I probably have AS myself and I know I have NLD. My life has been very difficult in ways and I am very quiet, have social anxiety and have only a few close friends. I do have a good job and get along well with my co workers but I have really mishandled the problems with the school.
It seems I have often defended my son and made teachers mad but I just don't get the way kids are treated in school and by adults in general. People claim to value qualities like fairness and kindness when the opposite is true . I see everybody as equals and I like that about myself. I understand respecting authority but when I see injustice I have to respond. I am very troubled about our society because people no longer question; they just obey and I have always taught my children to have thier own mind and to know the difference between right and wrong. I never dreamed just doing that would cause such problems.
I can't be like other people and I have no desire to be and neither do my children, Still, I am extremely worried about my son.
Can anyone relate to this?



DW_a_mom
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04 May 2009, 12:16 pm

I think you will find many parents here who can relate to your story :)

I hate to admit it, because it has often worked in my son's favor, but the system IS biased. People are biased; they can't help it. Their instinct is to help people they feel they can work effectively with, and to push against people they don't feel that way about. As much as I would tell you that my son's elementary school was absolutely wonderful, I know that not everyone with a special needs child had the same positive experience that I did, and it makes me extremely sad. I know those people at the school, they don't intend to be biased, but that doesn't mean they always see perfectly clearly either.

Everyone is still learning about AS. They are making strides when it comes to the kids, but noone has even started to consider how the genetic aspect might affect how they should be dealing with the parents. It definitely complicates things, that many AS kids do have AS parents, and those parents don't know how to play the game.

Don't let it stop you from fighting for what you know is right for your son, however. I'm going to bet that your instincts for him are right on, and your ability to be self-insightful about how your own likely AS may have muddled things will prove to be an asset. It makes me trust you, how honest you have been about yourself, and it will do the same with others.

Is there any chance of you moving to another school district? Is there any process in place for making a transfer that doesn't require legal action? Could you meet with another school district that understands AS and get them to advocate on your behalf?

Hopefully, one of the parents who has gone through this will come on soon, read your post, and offer more explicit advice.


_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


ster
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04 May 2009, 7:49 pm

the only word i have for you is LAWYER...get one who can help you make the district do what you want