I wish I could be part of video game culture

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Marknis
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16 Nov 2020, 5:40 pm

I play video games but I am not really part of the culture of them and when I see others making gaming their career or guys who game that have girlfriends or vice-versa (The YouTuber, Red Bard, comes to mind. I really envy her boyfriend since he plays Guilty Gear and has a cute girlfriend instead of getting derided as a “creep” or “loser” like a lot of women in the culture I live in call male gamers), it really makes me feel the pain of missing out.

Why am I unable to truly become part of the culture? Well, I honestly struggle at even the games I enjoy. It sometimes takes me a year or two to play just the main story of games like Disgaea or Final Fantasy and I get wrecked by the post game content or the harder side quests. I’ve never done a 100% play through on any of the ones I’ve played because the amount of things required to get that percent is daunting.

I can play fighting games on a casual level but I have lost more often than I have won at them. I also have never mastered every single mechanic in them, even the ones I enjoy. I don’t play online because the connection is always laggy and I’ve been kicked off after losing. I don’t want to go through that sort of humiliation.

I don’t play games like Overwatch, Fortnite, Mindcraft, Elder Scrolls, or Fallout because from what I’ve seen from those games, I would never be able to excel at them due to my job bleeding my life dry.

I don’t game on a PC or laptop but not because I don’t want to but because I cannot afford a good PC nor the extra stuff to enhance the gaming capabilities unless I gave up every other hobby I have (and I would still have to wait a long time to save enough money) and my laptop is a crappy outdated Dell that I didn’t know was crappy until long after I got it.

When it comes to the social aspect of video gaming, I always get the short end of the stick. Most of the people I work with don’t play them and the ones who do don’t include me because they aren’t interested in making new friends. When I go to video game stores, the shoppers will have a good time talking about games with others but will scowl are me when I try to interact, even if they like the same games I do.

I don’t fit in anywhere.



madbutnotmad
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16 Nov 2020, 5:55 pm

I don't know, I think you sound like a lot of people who are gamers.
The vast majority of gamers aren't fanatics who have you tube channels
who have turned gaming into a way to earn money

I think the vast majority like playing games to help them relax
and i think that unlike the 80s and early 90s

there are a lot more woman who are into gaming than there were

Ironically, i remember trying to ask a girl out (a good few years ago)
but she was more of a gamer than i was

i was more into Judo / karate / and have a background of kart racing etc.
and would like to do shooting for real

but play console games for fun, to wind down and to spend time to stop me
getting bored or lonely

not really an online game player
Perhaps getting into online game playing is a start to creating a social network among the people
who play the games you are into

if you want to try and go pro
would likely require an investment to pay for new pc / console / webcam / headset with mic
and a decent internet connection

then set up an account that will allow you to stream on twitch and you tube etc.

perhaps if you have the money to do the first stuff
you can then perhaps do a trial on your days off or at night
or on holidays?



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16 Nov 2020, 6:19 pm

Marknis wrote:
When it comes to the social aspect of video gaming, I always get the short end of the stick. Most of the people I work with don’t play them and the ones who do don’t include me because they aren’t interested in making new friends. When I go to video game stores, the shoppers will have a good time talking about games with others but will scowl are me when I try to interact, even if they like the same games I do.

I don’t fit in anywhere.


I played online First Person Shooter games for about 25 years, until I stopped about a year ago.
The reason I stopped was that the gaming culture was, all too often, feral.

I view the FPS gaming scene having as having a significant number of sociopaths and psychopaths.
It is their training ground, for more anti-social activities in the future.

I will never play FPS games on the PC platform because of the hack infestation.
Even the console platforms have a lot of people that cheat without actual hacks.

In a nutshell, you really aren't missing much by not being in a gaming community, and especially not if you are one the autistic spectrum.
When I left PC platform gaming, one of the worst insults was being called "autistic".
Need I say more? 8)


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ApicalApe
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19 Nov 2020, 2:47 pm

I also love video games, but can never get good at them. I wish I could join the Halo eSports league, but I feel like I am not good enough! I understand your struggle!



Tross
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06 Dec 2020, 12:07 am

Marknis wrote:
I play video games but I am not really part of the culture of them and when I see others making gaming their career or guys who game that have girlfriends or vice-versa (The YouTuber, Red Bard, comes to mind. I really envy her boyfriend since he plays Guilty Gear and has a cute girlfriend instead of getting derided as a “creep” or “loser” like a lot of women in the culture I live in call male gamers), it really makes me feel the pain of missing out.

Why am I unable to truly become part of the culture? Well, I honestly struggle at even the games I enjoy. It sometimes takes me a year or two to play just the main story of games like Disgaea or Final Fantasy and I get wrecked by the post game content or the harder side quests. I’ve never done a 100% play through on any of the ones I’ve played because the amount of things required to get that percent is daunting.

I can play fighting games on a casual level but I have lost more often than I have won at them. I also have never mastered every single mechanic in them, even the ones I enjoy. I don’t play online because the connection is always laggy and I’ve been kicked off after losing. I don’t want to go through that sort of humiliation.

I don’t play games like Overwatch, Fortnite, Mindcraft, Elder Scrolls, or Fallout because from what I’ve seen from those games, I would never be able to excel at them due to my job bleeding my life dry.

I don’t game on a PC or laptop but not because I don’t want to but because I cannot afford a good PC nor the extra stuff to enhance the gaming capabilities unless I gave up every other hobby I have (and I would still have to wait a long time to save enough money) and my laptop is a crappy outdated Dell that I didn’t know was crappy until long after I got it.

When it comes to the social aspect of video gaming, I always get the short end of the stick. Most of the people I work with don’t play them and the ones who do don’t include me because they aren’t interested in making new friends. When I go to video game stores, the shoppers will have a good time talking about games with others but will scowl are me when I try to interact, even if they like the same games I do.

I don’t fit in anywhere.

I think you're being too hard on yourself. It's very possible to enjoy games without being a pro player. Besides, taking games online just ensures you are more likely to meet people who consistently play them, and are thus, really good at them. Not being as good as someone online isn't as shameful as you seem to think.

You do seem to have a preference for games of the Japanese variety. Not being as into CoD and Fortnite also isn't something to be ashamed of. In fact, I find it tiresome to talk about games with someone who primarily only talks about Fortnite. They often characterize themselves as the hardcore ones, but I can often only get a surface level discussion out of them regarding their supposed hobby. :roll:

That said, you don't have to have played a ton of different games to be a gamer. You don't have to fulfill a certain quota of having completed a certain number of games per year, or beat a long game like a JRPG in a certain time frame. That's just nonsense. What's important is you have a fondness for videogames. Heck, more people have jobs and other commitments than you seem to think. By that logic, it's near impossible for the vast majority of adults to be hardcore gamers. Few of us have a ton of time to game on a daily basis. It's fine if that's not you. That means you're normal. Gaming is something best enjoyed your way, at your pace.

As far as romance goes, I for one am glad I didn't settle, and waited for the right person. I'm 32 by the way, and started going out with my current girlfriend earlier this year. I think she's perfect for me. But, I'm not one who wants to settle down for the sake of checking off a box, or because other people are doing it, and I never understood why so many people seem to think they need to be in a relationship to feel complete.

If someone were to judge me for my hobbies, I wouldn't desire to be with that person. My response would be more along the lines of "ok, goodbye then". The point is, be you and hold out for someone who appreciates you for who you are. You'll be much happier being single than in a relationship with someone who tries to change you.

As far as joining the larger gaming community goes, don't feel you need to either. It's very possible to enjoy a hobby without being part of the general community. Actually, maybe it's just me, but the gaming community these days seems to be toxic cesspool of morons and jerks, with the occasional person I enjoy interacting with.

You'll meet great people online for sure, and can have great discussion with those people, but you'll also meet a lot of elitists, or just people who think they're better than you because they disagree with your views. Don't let losers make you feel like you don't belong, but joining the larger community is completely optional, and not joining it doesn't make you less of a gamer.



tjbuddy100
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18 Dec 2020, 2:15 am

I ended up finding a really niche game that has a small community, and it's worked great for me. The game is competitive, and I've also had those feelings of needing to be the best, but this game really clicked for me and I want and try to improve. My team has been super supportive as well and helps me learn, keeping me in it. We play at a lower competitive level, but the drive to keep learning and getting better makes me want to go further. I still have those thoughts of needing to be the best, but I went around and realized that the best players worked their ass off to be where they are. You need to be willing to work your ass off too, and that may not be what you find fun. Other people do however, they are constantly trying to push the limits of the game and themselves. Whatever satisfies you is fine, but you should try to identify it.

The game has a really tight-knit discord community that seemed really hard to integrate into, but I ended up hopping in for a few games and it just went from there. The big thing about the communities is finding people who are just really nice and share a passion for the game. There's way too many toxic gaming communities, and those aren't worth joining.

When it comes to the whole girlfriend thing, it's important to remember that gaming is only a part of who you are. There's a lot of other things that matter in that regard. It's definitely possible to find those people, there's a much larger amount of women who play games than you think. (they don't talk much because they frequently get harassed by previously mentioned toxic gaming communities)

Don't forget that taking breaks and doing other things too will help you a ton.



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01 Jan 2021, 11:25 am

Marknis wrote:
I play video games but I am not really part of the culture of them and when I see others making gaming their career or guys who game that have girlfriends or vice-versa (The YouTuber, Red Bard, comes to mind. I really envy her boyfriend since he plays Guilty Gear and has a cute girlfriend instead of getting derided as a “creep” or “loser” like a lot of women in the culture I live in call male gamers), it really makes me feel the pain of missing out.

Why am I unable to truly become part of the culture? Well, I honestly struggle at even the games I enjoy. It sometimes takes me a year or two to play just the main story of games like Disgaea or Final Fantasy and I get wrecked by the post game content or the harder side quests. I’ve never done a 100% play through on any of the ones I’ve played because the amount of things required to get that percent is daunting.

I can play fighting games on a casual level but I have lost more often than I have won at them. I also have never mastered every single mechanic in them, even the ones I enjoy. I don’t play online because the connection is always laggy and I’ve been kicked off after losing. I don’t want to go through that sort of humiliation.

I don’t play games like Overwatch, Fortnite, Mindcraft, Elder Scrolls, or Fallout because from what I’ve seen from those games, I would never be able to excel at them due to my job bleeding my life dry.

I don’t game on a PC or laptop but not because I don’t want to but because I cannot afford a good PC nor the extra stuff to enhance the gaming capabilities unless I gave up every other hobby I have (and I would still have to wait a long time to save enough money) and my laptop is a crappy outdated Dell that I didn’t know was crappy until long after I got it.

When it comes to the social aspect of video gaming, I always get the short end of the stick. Most of the people I work with don’t play them and the ones who do don’t include me because they aren’t interested in making new friends. When I go to video game stores, the shoppers will have a good time talking about games with others but will scowl are me when I try to interact, even if they like the same games I do.

I don’t fit in anywhere.


I think perhaps you’re being too hard on yourself. To be a ‘true gamer’ only requires that you enjoy and have fun when you’re playing a video game. That is it. Time to completion, or even not completing a game in it’s entirety before moving on to the next, don’t define it. Number of games in a backlog don’t define it. Knowing who is who in esports doesn’t matter (heck, most gamers don’t follow esports or even care about it).

Your style sounds more casual. Perhaps good places to start would be visual novels (Fate/Stay Night, Muv-Luv, etc.) or life simulation (Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, etc.). You already mentioned Disgaea, so you know a lot already about what you like and don’t like.



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02 Jan 2021, 9:01 pm

I play games for fun, I never even got through dragon age inquisition on my PS3 I had it on disk and seemed some parts were like too much for the PS3 idk so wasn't able to play through. But since getting an Xbox one X I got a disk of it again and it seems to work much better still haven't gotten through the game in like 2 years, still have not done a full play through. I am playing on easy mode, and can't even defeat most of the dragons you fight in that game, so trying to level up so I can. But yeah idk about playing it on higher difficulty or whatever, I just kind of want to see what happens in the story of the game and the combat in my opinion isn't great so I'd rather just play on easy and see the story progression.

As for skyrim, though it is a pretty fun game....and if you are worried about the time constraint if you play on Xbox at least there are some mods you can get to just give you like some of the better equipment and stuff so you don't have to play through to get the cool stuff. I have seen people on other forums saying they use those kinds of mods because they don't have a ton of time to play.

The only game I play against other people really is league of legends and I haven't even been playing that very much lately. I have thought of trying out a game my brother plays but I can't remember what it is, maybe Destiny or something, but its mostly first person and I have trouble with first person games I get like a motion sickness effect from them sometimes.


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13 Jan 2021, 12:07 am

Unless you want to do competitive gaming with like Counter Strike, Unreal Tournament, or Quake, etc., you don't have to "excel" at games in order to enjoy them and be a part of their respective cultures. Personally, I play story-rich roleplaying games that don't rely too much on practiced skill. I see them as interactive stories where I can control the outcomes of various sub-plots, the development of my character, and exploring an open world in an immersive high fantasy or sci-fi environment. Even the MMO I play (Elder Scrolls Online), I hardly play competitively, and rarely with other players unless I'm doing a group dungeon--which is still not PvP competitive.

If it's at all possible, I urge you to try to make time for yourself to enjoy these games. Don't burn yourself out at work. Humans need "fun time", or else you find yourself sitting alone in an empty hotel writing "All work and no play makes OP a dull [boy/girl]" and chasing your spouse and kids with an axe.


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NaturalEntity
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13 Jan 2021, 3:06 pm

Gaming culture is way more diverse than what you described. It's sharing gameplay and experiences, making theories, loving the small details, making fan things (merch, fangames, art, writing, music etc) and a lot more. And you don't have to be any good at the game to enjoy it either, just as a few others have said on this thread.