Why do pleasurable things have consequences?

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EVERYTHING has consequences.

Unless you are using highly unusual definitions for "consequences" and "everything" then that is untrue.

"Every action has consequences" is true, though only in a different sense of "consequences" than that used by the OP.

The universe is not a judgment machine, handing down negative outcomes to those who engage in pleasurable activity.

The thing is it really is just what I said, it can explained just by assuming everything has consequences, some being more desirable than others, and that there is no inherent link between one good consequence and another. By just shere statistics it's most likely that the things which produce the MOST pleasure also have negative consequences. There are also plenty of unpleasurable things with far worse consequences, we just don't consider them because is no reason to engage in them.

Pleasurable things have consequences because God hates us and wants us to suffer.

If you take pleasure in self harm, or the disrespect of others, maybe, God is acting in a straightforward and intuitive way.

It is in good order, that you would sabotage yourself, hopefully, before dragging down others with you.

But, if you are of the intelligent and conscientious sort, you will have my good will, no matter how strange you may seem to me.

I would rather be sapiohile than a respecter of persons.