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SystemDown
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11 Jun 2009, 8:08 am

Do very many people seriously believe that being gay is a choice?



ouinon
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11 Jun 2009, 8:18 am

SystemDown wrote:
Do very many people seriously believe that being gay is a choice?

It depends on what you mean by "choice"? And what you mean by "gay".

.



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11 Jun 2009, 8:20 am

maybe in case of bisexual people. I don't feel like I ever had any options other than hetero and I think it applies to most homosexual people too.


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11 Jun 2009, 8:54 am

Well apparently some people think it's a choice, some people think it's a disease, and some people think that if they're born with it, they should repress it by being an ordained priest... :P

Anyway, I think sexuality as a whole is a lot more complicated than what labels have been given. I really don't think anyone chooses to be gay. I have a cousin who kept himself in the closet and thought he could someday get out of the phase as he put it. So it's a little hard for me to believe someone would choose it if it's so fiercely rejected and ridiculed in many religions and cultures....and attraction is attraction. I still cannot understand what compels people to assume that being sexually attracted to someone would just come from a choice.

Again though, I think sexuality is far more complex than most given labels. The reason being is sexuality has generally always been looked down upon and shunned especially in judeo-christian societies.


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11 Jun 2009, 8:57 am

Damn I wish I could choose who was attracted to. Would make life a lot easier. :P

People can choose whether or not they act on their attraction, but I can't see how anyone could choose who they actually like in the first place. A gay guy who chooses to marry a woman and pretend to be straight is still gay, for example.

IMO it is most likely caused by hormones. You can try and ignore it, pretend it's not happening, or be in denial about it. But when it comes down to it, if you like someone then you like them. Gay or straight.



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11 Jun 2009, 9:30 am

The decision to actively pursue homosexual relationships is a choice.

Even the gay community calls it a "lifestyle choice."

The question on what makes a person homosexual is a deep and troubled one.

I find that "straight" men do have homoerotic attractions. I think on some level, there is a natural same-sex attraction that everyone deals with, but it (by itself) does not make one a "homosexual."

That a man finds other men sexually desirable does not mean he MUST chose to live a homosexual lifestyle if it is not what he wants.

Humans are more than mere animals. We have the capacity to make a cognitive choice and remain faithful to that choice. I shudder when I see gay activists encouraging sexual experimentation because most people do not realize that homosexual encounters can be physically pleasurable...even if you are not gay. Too many people equate pleasure as affirmation of being in accord with something. It is possible to experience sexual pleasure in a rape...would that change it from being rape because a part of you enjoyed it?



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11 Jun 2009, 9:35 am

Obviously the decision to be with someone of the same sex is a choice. Only a sack of s**t with a mouth would claim that it isn't.

On a scale of 0-100 (zero being completely straight and 100 being completely straight), everyone is somewhere between 1 and 99. That doesn't mean they choose where they are. They're just there.

I don't really understand the comparison to rape, as that's an entirely different issue. Encouraging sexual experimentation is not about saying "well if my dick gets hard when you stimulate my prostate then I must be gay!" It's about encouraging people to feel free to work out who they are themselves. I don't feel any need to "experiment" with guys, but it would be no big deal if I did. It's hardly the same as enjoying being raped.

EDIT: And humans are mere animals whether you like it or not. We might not be the same as other animals, but that doesn't change what we are.



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11 Jun 2009, 9:50 am

Odd, but I don't recall ever having to make a choice about being hetero - I've just always liked looking at girls, ever since I first worked out that they were essentially different from us guys. Nobody ever came up to me and said, "So, are you straight or gay? Remember, this is your final answer!"

And of the gay men I've asked (the one lesbian didn't have much of a sense of humor, and durn near bit my head off), none of them could ever remember making a choice either. They just always felt about boys the way I felt about girls.


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zer0netgain
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11 Jun 2009, 10:58 am

Barbarossa wrote:
I don't really understand the comparison to rape, as that's an entirely different issue.


The issue is that many people (especially NTs) equate a pleasure response as a moral compass.

That you can enjoy physical pleasure from someone from the same gender does not mean it is your destiny or that it is what you want.

You might not have any sexual attraction to women, but if what you really want is a heterosexual marriage and kids over any other priority, that would be your choice. It's not evil to repress what you honestly don't want in your life and embrace the things you do want just because they conflict with what you feel.



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11 Jun 2009, 11:01 am

Why would someone who's gay want a heterosexual marriage and kids, instead of a gay marriage and kids, if not for other people. The only reason someone would do that is because society tells them that's what they should do, or to please their family etc. Otherwise, they could have all that with someone they're attracted to.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone you are naturally inclined to be with.



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11 Jun 2009, 11:03 am

I think the choice of getting married and having kids could also be said for homosexuals....if only they were allowed the opportunity.

Not sure what homosexuality has to do with rape and destiny.... :?


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11 Jun 2009, 11:43 am

I am gay and its not a choice, and if you say otherwise, please provide me with the timeline of your debate about whether you had a wet dream about a guy or a girl. Science says genes and enivorment play a role, and also, human nature. Go look at bonobos, a very closely related cousin of humans.


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11 Jun 2009, 11:57 am

I imagine it's not a choice, but my friend is gay, and as soon as he admitted he started acting effeminate as hell, and it seems to me that was a choice



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11 Jun 2009, 11:59 am

ryan93 wrote:
I imagine it's not a choice, but my friend is gay, and as soon as he admitted he started acting effeminate as hell, and it seems to me that was a choice

no, its showing his true colors. because in case you haven't noticed, acting effimante for guys is knocked for being gay and the effimante gays are the most harrased and abused bunch. Do you have any idea how hard it is to watch what you say or do so you don't get outted?!


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MattShizzle
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11 Jun 2009, 12:26 pm

I don't think so. Why would someone choose to be a member of a group that is discriminated against? And those "anti-gay" treatments (nearly all run by conservative Christians) are bull.